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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think one child is easy

129 replies

smooooothie · 03/07/2026 15:51

Assuming NT, not unusually challenging … past a certain point parenting just one child feels really easy in a way multiple children don’t?

OP posts:
80smonster · 03/07/2026 19:22

All kids are a pain in the backside: holidays, healthcare, education, wrapcare, camps, swimming etc. Keep multiplying the irritating requests by the number of children you have. For me, one was more than enough.

FlimFlamFlomFlemFlum · 03/07/2026 19:14

I have one DC. They’re lovely. But they don’t sleep and I’m exhausted.They’re also mega social and hate playing alone. My DH is also abroad a lot for work so I parent alone. I have AuDHD. Child doesn’t seem to. I find it really fucking hard sometimes.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 03/07/2026 19:06

I like having two close in age - they are the Kids and we are the Adults. Somehow it helps create space between me and them. I worry if I had only one I would
feel suffocated and they were needing me the time 🤣 For that reason I think one would be very difficult psychologically (even if logistically easier of course)

Mermaidsarereal · 03/07/2026 19:02

No, it bloody well isn’t easier.

Ella31 · 03/07/2026 18:48

No, parenting as a whole is challenging and we all have good and bad days. I have two now, I found my "first" very lonely. I was on the back of neonatal loss - twins. I was grieving heavilly and my dd had collic and reflux. I just had my "second" there and this time around is more managable but there's days I hate it and days I love it. Everyones experiences are different. Dd is 1 and ds is 11 weeks. So there's no easy whether is 1 or 10. Everything is relative.

ginasevern · 03/07/2026 18:36

Yes, I'd say one child certainly makes life less complicated. Only one school drop off, only one school lunch to prepare, only one to consider if you want babysitting or some kind of emergency befalls you. And obviously finances are less restricted.

Bringemout · 03/07/2026 18:25

Depends on the child really.

Zanatdy · 03/07/2026 18:17

Yes in many ways it is, but can be harder on holidays etc (assuming you have kids who got on, I did and it made life easier)

Tisfortired · 03/07/2026 18:16

I had an only child for 9 years - didn’t have anything to compare it to and found it difficult through the baby and toddler years and then easy enough from about 4 onwards bar the occasional tantrum.

I then (for some reason) decided to have two more when my eldest was 9 and 11 and find it exponentially harder. They are still very young though (my boys are 12, 3 and 9 months) so that may be why I’m struggling at the moment - it may get easier in some ways as they get older (please god tell me it does.)

smooooothie · 03/07/2026 18:16

Maybe mine are unusually self sufficient (or I am a crap playmate) but never really asked for them to play with me.

OP posts:
Namingbaba · 03/07/2026 18:13

I think you only properly appreciate it though when you have a second 😂

Of course depends but then two can be easier if they play together. Don’t you have to play with a single child more?

Keepoffmyartichokes · 03/07/2026 18:11

We have been me child and in some ways it is much easier, we can both attend his football matches etc and we don't have another to think about. He's almost 14 so easier now but when he was young it was very hard as we had to be the person he played with if other children weren't around, on our first couple of holidays we had to be constantly in the pool with him playing various games. It was only when he got older and started to make friends on holiday that it felt easier. But then I do know parents of multiple children who fight like cat and dog so that's harder. It all depends on the children in question. I know a family with twin boys and they get on like a house on fire and have the same hobbies, their dad said it's pretty easy in that respect.

Dontcallmescarface · 03/07/2026 18:00

Yep, that's why I didn't have anymore. I know my limits.

HugTheDog · 03/07/2026 17:56

I found going from no children to one child much harder than going from one to two. Once we had got used to being parents, parenting another was easy.

Ineedanewsofa · 03/07/2026 17:56

Yes, that’s why we only have one 😂

smooooothie · 03/07/2026 17:55

StayingAlive4858422 · 03/07/2026 17:55

What is the point of your post?

Are you looking for someone to validate your choice to be one and done?

The easy stuff in life is not always the most rewarding.

No point, just posting.

OP posts:
smooooothie · 03/07/2026 17:55

No judgement whatsoever Flowers but adding another child to that particular situation wouldn’t make it easier; it would make it yet more complex.

OP posts:
StayingAlive4858422 · 03/07/2026 17:55

What is the point of your post?

Are you looking for someone to validate your choice to be one and done?

The easy stuff in life is not always the most rewarding.

putitonthewrongway · 03/07/2026 17:53

I used to think life was hard with 0 children. Then I had one child and realised life before had been incredibly easy…Now I am a lone parent of 2 children and I wonder why I found it so stressful! But I do think it is all relative. If you’ve been used to a life without children and then you have a child it’s a shock. So I can understand why it is hard for people with one child.

And I find when I only have one of my children with me it can be high maintenance as then I have to keep them entertained, whereas normally they entertain each other.

ThatJadeLion · 03/07/2026 17:53

Please don't judge other people's situations. I have been pregnant for a substantial amount of time three times. One daughter, bless her she's amazing, but wow I never thought I'd have such a naturally feisty child. Feel like I've raised more than one child, I don't resemble much of myself 7 years ago and only children don't have siblings to play with. I am wiped out working and keeping all the plates spinning like most people. School starts in September and wow it can't come quick enough. Please no one come and remind me school is not childcare, I will probably lose it today! Love her to bits but this week I have been walking around with holes in my shoes, hair roots that are inches long and house is a tip and just about financially surviving!

HolyHannah · 03/07/2026 17:47

Depends on the child.

DC1 would have been a dream as an only child. Well once they turned 1! DC2 was a dream baby but a nightmare after that, I'm glad she has a sibling.

Cakeface11 · 03/07/2026 17:40

When I had one I thought it was really difficult. Then I had a second and thought having one was much easier by comparison. Soon I’m due my third and no doubt will moan that having two was easy and three is harder 😂 It’s all relative to our current situation isn’t it.

mochimoons · 03/07/2026 17:36

I do think it would be easier to just have one child and be done. But then I think about my siblings and how much support I get from them and think it's worth the extra work for them to have that. Although it doesn't always work out that way if they don't get along for whatever reason.

BilgeVole · 03/07/2026 17:35

Yeah, it’s a piece of piss mate. I’m on easy street with one kid. It’s easier than when I didn’t have any kids to be honest.

Illbethereinaminute · 03/07/2026 17:27

Probably. It's cheaper, less stuff to think about, less stuff to juggle...

I have 2 and it's almost double the price of 1 (only almost because at the minute my youngest gets hand me downs but that won't last long.

I have 2 children to juggle at school, remember who is doing what etc.

I need a bigger house because there is one more person to live in it.

Also at the minute I'm dealing with one child going to high school and one being left behind. My youngest and eldest are best friends and it just so happens that all the kids nearby are also in year 6 so they all play together. Soon they will all be at high school together and my youngest will be almost left behind.

I don't regret having 2 though and definitely don't when they are playing nicely and leaving me in peace. When I have to referee arguments though...🤯

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