To think one child is easy

because you get to experience the joy of the relationships between the children and the love between them. I have too many children by mumsnet standards but I didn't want the semblance of hanging onto my old life. I wanted a life filled with kids!

I didn't find school - post 4 - eaiser - I know it's partly the SEN, now know ADHD - and them being summer born. They all needed so much support and got so tired after school.

We also didn't get the golden years between 6 and 10 - mine still threw tantrums/had meltdowns.

I stil enjoyed them - instead of focusing on whether one or two is easier you have to find way to make it easier or at least cope-able.

We all did better if we went out at least in the mornings rather than being in house - so did that - more distractions and oddly even if they'd been arguing in house they often chose to be together. Also found noise eaiser outside or in bigger rooms.

Mine were close enough in age and got on enough that they were pretty much into same things most of their childhood and could learn to take turns and share though that was a process.

Dealing with one less child than usual is usually easier - as it's a lighter load to manage. I don't think my kids missed out by having siblings - they are late teens eldest 20 and they get on still and seem to like each others company chossing to visting each other at uni and hang out.

Do people not realise when you have more than one they can often ask and still expect you to always play with them? My youngest always asks me to play with them because her older siblings are both boys and aren’t interested in playing with her. Thats not exclusive to only children.

One is definitely easier
in so many ways including when they are older
Although We had one and then twins and we are still here, we survived. Weirdly much like the pain of giving birth it all starts to blur after a while

So I’m glad we had more than one

Yes one child is easy but you don’t realise that until you have another one. Until you have another one, your one child feels like hard work.

I found having one newborn REALLY hard. A newborn and a toddler was hard, but I found it much easier.

4.5! We’re having a lot of boundary pushing and meltdowns at the moment. Also a bit clingy. Might be unsettled with the upcoming transition to school.

It depends how much effort you put in. And, anyway, it's all relative. If you have 7 children, obviously looking after 1 child is easy. If you only have 1 child, you might not find it easy, especially if you put huge effort into e.g. their education, activities, spending quality time with them, cooking healthy meals.

I say this all the time in real life - the magic formula for the easiest number of children = however many you have, minus one! I remember having just one and finding it very very difficult. Now I have many 😅 and with each one I’ve got more practised (I wouldn’t even say better, just more experienced) at mumming - but the demands have increased each time 🤷‍♀️ so it probably all evens out to be honest.

Its holidays i notice it most. The families with just one are often looking for playmates.

Isn't this just a giant case of 'it depends'?

Depends on the parent, depends on the child (singular), then depends on the personalities of the children, the age gap, the parental age, the location (do you have to watch their every move or can they be turned out to run in a safe space for hours)...

I had five children in seven and a half years. This was not five times as hard as having one child.

Whats the point in this? To make parenrs of one feel like they have it easy and cant ever find it hard / complain. It’s all about your own capacity as parenrs. One parent might find one very hard and another have 10 kids and find it easy. It doesn’t matter. It’s about choosing to have the number of kids that you want and is manageable for you.

Most things, doing less is easier than doing more. What’s your point?

I think things like bedtimes are easier- lots of parents I know with 2 both get involved (maybe read with one each) whereas with one we alternate bedtimes and it's lovely having half our evenings.

Also things like work- we've had times of both working full time (with some flexible hours) and the cost of wraparound childcare is fine, whereas for those with 2+ it quickly adds up.

My child has cousins who don't play with each other at all/ have very different interests and needs. But things like holidays/ swimming are harder with one as they want you to be their playmate all the time.

How old are yours now? I did find the benefits vs extra work of having two shifted (positively) once everyone was at school.

as opposed to assuming you’re goady, I’ll answer you. It has its own challenges and advantages. I have a child who gets lonely, who always has to entertain themselves, and wishes they had a sibling. On the positive, I have a child who also has been given certain advantages, regarding travel that other kids haven’t. I am able to financially support their interests, have their friends over whenever they want, and go almost anywhere. If you asked her though, she would have given all that up to have another child in the house. So no. Not easier, just different

I personally don’t find parenting one child (and everything that comes with juggling work/parenting/life) ‘easy’.

But without doubt it’s easier than having more, which I why we don’t have any more.

Know your limits and all that.

I don’t think it’s easy but it can be easier than more children.

for me the hardest thing about parenting is the loss of freedom- freedom to work late or go out for an evening etc without effectively needing to make arrangements/ obtain ‘permission’. This comes with just one child aswell as more.

but when I have only one child around it feels calmer than when they are both there but then having them both there brings chaos but lots of joy.