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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to buy my daughter's boyfriend a replacement phone?

116 replies

AboutAPhone · 03/07/2026 15:28

Sooo…name change and a few altered details for privacy. If I get found I don’t want people to see all of my other posts.

Simple one though really. My DD’s boyfriend has a really old phone and it just doesn’t work anymore. Constantly needs to be hooked up to a powerbank, and just useless. I suspect that his parents don’t use have the money around to buy a new one, but I do and I don’t mind.

I just wonder if I would be overstepping to get him one. I don’t want to offend his parents, I get on well with them, but I just don’t know how to help out without causing an issue. They’re both 17, no jobs yet as they have a very long commute to college and very little spare time to work until they finish next year and go to uni or start working full time, so can’t buy it themselves. Also no birthday or anniversary so I can’t slide the money to my DD to buy it for him as a present.

AIBU to buy one. Just the lowest functioning iPhone would be an upgrade so wouldn’t be spending megabucks.

OP posts:
MeanwhileinGilead · 03/07/2026 15:48

Buying him a new iPhone is probably too much, even if it came from your daughter as a birthday or holiday gift. You're still looking at £300+ unlocked. I'd go with an older secondhand model if you're going to do it, and say it was spare and going unused so you thought boyfriend might as well have it since he was having trouble with his. If his parents do care, they may be happier to think of it as a loan, even though realistically you wouldn't expect or get it back.

TheBlueKoala · 03/07/2026 15:47

Tricky.. maybe his parents have planned to give him one? Can you ask them directly if you can give him one without overstepping? Atleast then they can say yes or no.

SummerInSun · 03/07/2026 15:44

Agree with all PP. Absolutely do not buy him a new one. Either treat yourself of DD to a new one and tell him he can have the old spare one, or dig an old one out of a drawer.

buymeflowers · 03/07/2026 15:41

Just say it’s an unwanted upgrade

Ponoka7 · 03/07/2026 15:41

When is his birthday?
My first thought was a second hand one and say it's a old phone.

iamfrustrated · 03/07/2026 15:39

It’s a gift. You can give him a gift, ffs

Pootles34 · 03/07/2026 15:38

Yes agree give him a reconditioned one and say you no longer need it. Run it by his parents first.

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 03/07/2026 15:34

Does it have to even be an iPhone? I have an entry level Motorola android. It cost £80/90. It's a gift I'd feel comfortable accepting from someone else, an iPhone at a couple of hundred pounds wouldn't be.
Yes my phone is basic but it functions and does what a phone needs to do nowadays.
As to whether it's an appropriate gift, might depend on how long they've been dating. Less than 6 months and you barely know him I'd say it's overstepping. If they're relatively established (for that age) I would offer but not just buy and give.

TeenToTwenties · 03/07/2026 15:34

Get a second hand one from CEX?
More easy to pass off as one you no longer need?

VividDeer · 03/07/2026 15:34

I think a new iPhone is too much. Maybe gift it as your old one like pp suggested.

YouPromisedToStopPosting · 03/07/2026 15:33

No, it’s far too expensive a gift.

However if you have an old phone in a drawer that you don’t use any longer that would be fine to offer.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/07/2026 15:32

I would buy a slightly older version and say you got it from a friend. It’s a kind thing to do.

24Dogcuddler · 03/07/2026 15:32

I wouldn’t. Parents might not be impressed. They could split up next week.

Owlteapot · 03/07/2026 15:31

Could you buy it and offer saying its an old one of yours you found?

anotherdaytosmile · 03/07/2026 15:31

I’d do it as long as my DD had no issues with it AND you understand that a gift can’t be reclaimed so if the split up two days later, nothing you can do

rubyslippers · 03/07/2026 15:30

Yes you would be over stepping but I can see why you’d like to do this but he may feel beholden to you if you buy it and also that he’s owes you / your daughter in some way
it could make the relationship difficult

an iPhone is still a lot of money

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