Page 3 | AIBU to buy my daughter's boyfriend a replacement phone?

CanIbeRio · 03/07/2026 16:51

I've bought things for dd's boyfriend that have been out of his reach necessities and just passed them off as cast offs/things family members no longer needed or things I've upgraded on. All gratefully received with no questions asked.

familyissues12345 · 03/07/2026 16:48

Could you ask him to help out with something and this be the payment for it? Maybe buy a secondhand one from CEX?

Lomonald · 03/07/2026 16:47

AboutAPhone · 03/07/2026 16:13

Because you don’t switch to a different type of phone as a teenager. You have apps and games that transfer across, you get used to the tech. There is huge brand loyalty with phone types.

I would never move off iPhone, my husband would never move off android. It’s just the way it works. upgrading to the next model is what happens with phones, this would be no different.

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Sorry i meant ask him why he hasn't gone for an upgrade?

DirtyBird · 03/07/2026 16:44

I would do this but it would be a used/second hand one for not much money.

rememberingthem · 03/07/2026 16:43

Owlteapot · 03/07/2026 15:31

Could you buy it and offer saying its an old one of yours you found?

This is what i would do! Or buy myself a new one and offer him the old one

justasking111 · 03/07/2026 16:43

Hang on. Can he afford an iPhone contract?

WildLeader · 03/07/2026 16:38

My DS girlfriend was in same position, but her home life had deteriorated so badly so quickly she actually moved in with us after about 4months they met. Her phone was appalling!

I gave her my old work iPhone 12. Upgrade your phone or your dd’s and give the old one to him. No brainer. It’s not over reaching, it’s kindness and it sounds like he could do with some. I agree that it’s good for them to have a back up phone when the 2 of them are out

Pessismistic · 03/07/2026 16:36

Hi op I would get one give it to your dd say mums friend in work says she doesn’t need this phone now do u want it? She said she would rather know someone can make use of it than Cex making a profit from her.

bettyrubble99 · 03/07/2026 16:36

I'd get one from CEX or wherever & tell his parents you had it laying around would it be ok for him to have it. I have 3 sons. If any of their gfs mum did a loving, kind gesture like this i'd be so thankful. I would however not be comfortable with a brand spanking new one due to the price and cost to yourself.

MyDeftDuck · 03/07/2026 16:35

HIM not home 🙄

Notasbigasithink · 03/07/2026 16:35

AboutAPhone · 03/07/2026 15:28

Sooo…name change and a few altered details for privacy. If I get found I don’t want people to see all of my other posts.

Simple one though really. My DD’s boyfriend has a really old phone and it just doesn’t work anymore. Constantly needs to be hooked up to a powerbank, and just useless. I suspect that his parents don’t use have the money around to buy a new one, but I do and I don’t mind.

I just wonder if I would be overstepping to get him one. I don’t want to offend his parents, I get on well with them, but I just don’t know how to help out without causing an issue. They’re both 17, no jobs yet as they have a very long commute to college and very little spare time to work until they finish next year and go to uni or start working full time, so can’t buy it themselves. Also no birthday or anniversary so I can’t slide the money to my DD to buy it for him as a present.

AIBU to buy one. Just the lowest functioning iPhone would be an upgrade so wouldn’t be spending megabucks.

Oh and I also wouldn't tell your daughter that the truth behind the reconditioned 'gifted from a friend' phone. That way she's innocent in all of this and if they ever split, there's no comeback on her mum bought him.a phone etc

MyDeftDuck · 03/07/2026 16:34

Could he do some odd jobs at your home……gardening, cleaning the car, washing the windows, clearing out the shed or garage……then pay home with the new phone? Just a suggestion to help the young guy out and who would want their child to be able to contact them if they were in trouble.

lordbaddingham · 03/07/2026 16:33

cestlavielife · 03/07/2026 16:29

He is not your child. Or responsibility. Does n9t need another iphone but chooses to keep current with a powerbank that is fine. can get cheap brick or cheap android phone
He can try for part time work as 17.

What next? Socks underwear and designer clothes? Where will it end.?

But if you really want to then upgrade dd and she can pass on her old phone
Or wait til birthday /xmas and ask him if he wants a refurbed or old phone ? Maybe he 8s sav8ng up til can get new.
You can make sure your dd has phone powerbank etc and knows what to do if no signal (in emergency can always find a way to contact you)

I think OP knows he's not her responsibility. She's trying to do a kind thing for a kid she likes.

lessglittermoremud · 03/07/2026 16:32

Just buy a refurbished one off of music magpie or similar and present it to him explaining you’ve found it at the back of a drawer and ask him if he wants it.
If it’s one that’s a good few years behind the current model he’d have no reason to suspect you’ve brought it for him specifically.
I would ask his parents if they mind you offering him a phone, but at 17 he is almost an adult so can’t see why they would say no as long as it’s not work £000’s.
I brought a refurbished iPhone 11 for my Son, it was just over £100, they guarantee the battery life etc

lordbaddingham · 03/07/2026 16:31

But casually - ' oh my mum said do you want her old phone as she's got a new one and can't be bothered to sell it on. '

Notasbigasithink · 03/07/2026 16:31

AboutAPhone · 03/07/2026 15:28

Sooo…name change and a few altered details for privacy. If I get found I don’t want people to see all of my other posts.

Simple one though really. My DD’s boyfriend has a really old phone and it just doesn’t work anymore. Constantly needs to be hooked up to a powerbank, and just useless. I suspect that his parents don’t use have the money around to buy a new one, but I do and I don’t mind.

I just wonder if I would be overstepping to get him one. I don’t want to offend his parents, I get on well with them, but I just don’t know how to help out without causing an issue. They’re both 17, no jobs yet as they have a very long commute to college and very little spare time to work until they finish next year and go to uni or start working full time, so can’t buy it themselves. Also no birthday or anniversary so I can’t slide the money to my DD to buy it for him as a present.

AIBU to buy one. Just the lowest functioning iPhone would be an upgrade so wouldn’t be spending megabucks.

Buy a reconditioned phone and say a friend of yours asked if you could make use of it as they've received a free upgrade.
That way it doesn't look suspicious!

lordbaddingham · 03/07/2026 16:30

I think it's fine for your daughter to give it to him in the guise of it being an old one you no longer need.

MeridaBrave · 03/07/2026 16:29

I’d buy one that’s 2-3 years old and tell him it’s your old one. Or buy yourself or DD new one and give him the old one.

cestlavielife · 03/07/2026 16:29

He is not your child. Or responsibility. Does n9t need another iphone but chooses to keep current with a powerbank that is fine. can get cheap brick or cheap android phone
He can try for part time work as 17.

What next? Socks underwear and designer clothes? Where will it end.?

But if you really want to then upgrade dd and she can pass on her old phone
Or wait til birthday /xmas and ask him if he wants a refurbed or old phone ? Maybe he 8s sav8ng up til can get new.
You can make sure your dd has phone powerbank etc and knows what to do if no signal (in emergency can always find a way to contact you)

Pistachiocake · 03/07/2026 16:26

Sounds kind. If you're worried about overstepping, you could ask your daughter if she wants to "give" him the present? Or "find" a spare phone somewhere, you maybe got yours replaced?

aliceyyyy2654 · 03/07/2026 16:25

I think the best way to go about it is ask his parents first and pretend it’s a second hand one that no one else you know needs and whether he would like it? That way they don’t feel indebted to you

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 03/07/2026 16:25

Yes, just say you got an upgrade or something and it is going spare.

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 03/07/2026 16:23

This is NOT a good idea. Your DDs relationships should not involve you at all. What happens is they beak up, DD can feel aggrieved he has the phone. Do you buy all subsequent bf one? It is a terrible idea, and could damage their relationship and yours with her.

Original poster

AboutAPhone · 03/07/2026 16:19

BillieWiper · 03/07/2026 16:15

But when they spilt up it will be all 'and you bought that twat a new phone mum! We need to get the money back! He used it to chat to other women..'

I don't think it's wise to buy a teen boy a new phone just because your daughter is sleeping with them.

My DD isn’t sleeping with him, not that this is relevant. Have you actually read my replies. Boyfriend is like family as they’ve been inseparable since before they were teenagers, if they weren’t dating he would still be in her life right now. Maybe not when they’re older, but this isn’t just someone who is flavour of the month otherwise I wouldn’t have considered it.

OP posts:

FlipFlopZebra · 03/07/2026 16:19

I’d get a second hand one on envirofone and then maybe say you found your old phone does he want it