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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

By way of illustration, a female acquaintance whom I have known since university was a big one for this. She's straight and probably of average attractiveness. While at university she'd frequently remark on the absence of men she found attractiv

117 replies

Nearenough · 03/07/2026 15:21

To think cross gender collective punishment is a thing.

OP posts:

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 03/07/2026 15:30

@Jellylasagnafortwothe M&S poster was very coherent in comparison with Sharon. Just a little monomaniacal.

Rockgrin · 03/07/2026 15:29

ComtesseDeSpair · 03/07/2026 15:23

That would be an ecumenical matter.

I hear you're a racist now, OP?

Should we all be racist now?

What's the official line the church is taking?

Original poster

Nearenough · 03/07/2026 15:29

The subject line and text seem to have got mixed up. In addition to what is above, my feeling is that sometimes those who havee felt negarively judged on their own attractiveness like to make vocal judgments about others. It is as if being in the judge's chair means you cannot be the one being judged.

A (possibly); related phenomenon is the summer slew of opinion pieces by female journalists bemoaning the appearance in public of very white British and Irish male limbs. Is this an attempt, conscious or otherwise, to rebalance the scales of attractiveness judging? What seems to be clear is that the people who are appearance-shamed are often not the exact same group of people doing the original negative appearance judging, which is what causes the appearance of collective punishment.

OP posts:

HolyMonthof · 03/07/2026 15:29

All the time

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 03/07/2026 15:29

Jellylasagnafortwo · 03/07/2026 15:27

Was It Sharon that didn’t get the M and S job?

Show quote history

No, Sharon had an issue with a wasp and if I remember correctly her boyfriend was t-rexing in the supermarket.
That takes me back.

Arlanymor · 03/07/2026 15:28

I find some men attractiv too, not attractive though.

DollopOfFun · 03/07/2026 15:28

Did you get your title and your OP the wrong way round, and then in your fluster, your little finger hit the post button, and well, here we are?

Jellylasagnafortwo · 03/07/2026 15:27

Darragon · 03/07/2026 15:26

It’s been a long time, but is that you, Sharon?

Was It Sharon that didn’t get the M and S job?

HoldMyWine · 03/07/2026 15:27

Which university was it? Did she get a first?

Mochudubh · 03/07/2026 15:27

JoyousOpalLemur · 03/07/2026 15:24

It's a yes and a no from me

It's a Yes, a No and a Not Sure from me.

Darragon · 03/07/2026 15:26

It’s been a long time, but is that you, Sharon?

BilgeVole · 03/07/2026 15:25

I’m going to say maybe.

JoaNiic · 03/07/2026 15:25

I’ve made some tea, but there wasn’t enough hot water in the kettle. I’m really lazy sometimes, and now my tea is too strong. But I ate the digestives anyway. What a situation!

Darragon · 03/07/2026 15:25

Were you trying to ask Alexa something?

CrispySquid · 03/07/2026 15:24

Wat