What to do about 4 year olds behaviour

I will add, seeing as it has been hot in Europe lately, little children don’t know when they are thirsty. They just misbehave. It’s up to you to make them take a moment (because otherwise they won’t) from whatever they are doing to have a proper drink of water at regular times. By that I mean a plastic glass 3/4 filled and they must drink most of it, No little sips.

If your daughter is going incomplete school in September, now is a good time to put in place a timetable. A good drink with breakfast, it’s recess time so toilet, wash, sit, eat and drink. Repeat at lunch time and again at after school time. It’s good to get their body clock organised.

This might be a time for tight helicopter parenting. She stays with you, always, You watch her, always. As soon as she looks crosseyed, you distract and deviate. If that doesn’t work, you leave. No lecture, no discussion, just pick her up and go. Leave your trolley of shopping behind if you have to.

You go outside to somewhere safe and you just wait while she gets it all out and, if that doesn’t work, it’s back into the car and home for a cool drink and quiet time with little reward.

If it’s a phase, you must have to take appropriate action through gritted teeth and wait it out.

She is testing boundaries and trying to assert herself. It's your job to be consistent and push back. She'll find a balance it just sounds like she is going through a difficult patch right now. My friend who has studied child psychology for years always tells parents that it's a good thing when a child kicks off like this. It's showing a sense of developing their own identity, expressing strong will, asserting their place in the world. Yes it makes parenting hard but from a developmental point of view it's positive. A passive child is much more worrying. Just be firm and you'll come out the other end of it

Your Dd is giving you every indication that something is not right!
Is it the heat ?
Is it impending illness?
Is it because you expect more of her than she can cope with?
Deferred gratification isnt that useful for little ones. What counts to them is the immediate present.
Maybe shes dehydrated or getting a bug, or her shoes hurt her feet.
She is still too young to consciously articulate her feelings or wishes.
The meltdown just means she cant cope at that time.
I agree that you should make some space for simple activities and reassure her that

' mummy is noticing its getting hard for her to cope!'
Goodluck.

Stay consistent, keep enforcing boundaries and follow through with any consequences.

Is she at preschool or anything? She could be a little bored where she is and just ready to start school and be challenged a bit more during the day. Or she could be a little worried about it

The shop assistant had to tell her off? If someone else had to step up when you're
present I think that's your answer.

Is she starting school in September? My very biddable and chilled almost 5 yr old has been wilder in the run up to this big transition. My ASD/ADHD eldest was even more effected. At least I was prepared this time.

For my youngest it seems to centre around fear of being a big kid and what that all means so lots of acting like a baby etc. it gets better when they start if it is that

It’s tough when things change but she’s still learning how to express her self and not capable of understanding her emotions fully. Could be as simple as having new teeth coming through and hurting so acting up as a distraction or something may have upset or scared her so she’s is misbehaving because she wants your attention but doesn’t know how to ask. Maybe keep things very quiet for a few days at home and spend lots of time doing simple activities with her and plenty of cuddles.