Is this a typical primary school day / experience?

Both parents work flexibly around each other. At least, that's how we supported our dds extracurriculars.

Maybe a nanny would be helpful for you OP, they could do take the kids to the extra activities, drop off at school in the morning etc and will cost a lot less that private for all children

Sounds very similar to the school my son is about to start at (I’ve friends with older children there) but the classes are bigger, around 25 or so.

An after school nanny! Cheaper than private school

Same for us. But as I said up thread - an after school nanny would be cheaper than school fees and can take your kids to the top up stuff if it's really important to you

You work as a team around work and school and extra-curriculars. For example I needed to work late one day this week so DH picked the DC up from aftercare and took them to music lessons. DH had a busy day today so I picked up and did tonight's activity while he went home and finished up his work before I got back. We can't afford 2 DC in private school so we just make it work to give them everything they need.

This was one of our main issues

School finishes so early and how were we supposed to accommodate that

The idea that I was going to step back from a career I’d dreamed of since age 14 was a non starter and my dh was much the same. No family near by, no space for a nanny or au pair snd childminders I looked at didn’t do much with the kids.

We gave it a go at state.
The school wasnt great, we were run ragged with making it all work, the kids were exhausted trying to fit in swimming and music that the school didn’t do and squeezing in reading aswel very late in Thd evenings when they were already tired because we didn’t finish at 3:30pm all became too much for everyone

Our Indi however did masses of fun and educational stuff ( including 1/1 teading every day ) up to 6:30 / 7pm including an evening meal and up to 9pm when in their senior years
Plus we could drop off from 7am ( not everyone did and sometimes we didn’t need to ) and Theyd have breakfast there.

It meant we could both work without one of us taking a career hit ( our careers weren’t about the money ) and we could relax in the evenings when we picked them up and the weekends rather than trying to squeeze in other stuff that school didn’t do
whats not to love OP

For us, the savings on private school allowed us to work less (still full time, but less extras) and be around more - including being able to facilitate the extra-curriculars.

You spend a lot of evenings and weekends ferrying your kids and other kids to clubs

Quoting so I can read back.

very rural Scotland school. rated excellent. Role 60 plus a full nursery and a full playgroup.

All the above yes except

local councils have rolled out iPads as mandatory. So a no opt out system. Primary 1-3 shared basis. P4 up own iPad. In our area, this is a huge challenge by parents and is so different school to school. We are absolute minimum.

Outside space acres of it and used daily, massive parental input and initiatives. All parents helping disclosure checked and with a teacher. From beginning to end and flower growing to the library, mock trials to pretend vet and GP clinics. Electricians, plumbers, emergency services.

after school zero. but lots of parental support and activities.

would I pay for private now? Nope. High school. Absolutely

At my primary you'd get the phonics. You wouldn't get the sport. You wouldn't get the reading every day. Maybe twice a week. You wouldn't get forest school. You could have the after school care. And the school dinners are a bit crap.

However I'd probably save the cash and pay for private secondary

I don’t think it is the case that state schools can’t offer this - at least at Primary level. Our school in a ‘nice’ part of Surrey offers all of it except the class size.

I do have an eye on potentially going private at secondary level though, from what I’ve heard.

I think you know that most state schools won’t be able to offer all of the things on your list; surely that’s why you picked the private option?

Certain things, like being greeted on the gate and having “real” books are probably almost universal. But I suspect that those saying their local primary has every single thing on that list might be exaggerating. Even though I appreciate many schools have lots of extracurriculars and outside space.

HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that the state primaries without some of the items on your list are bad places. My eldest goes to a school with a concrete slab playground and it is a friendly, vibrant place with a huge mixture of kids. It’s the heart of the community. She is happy and is learning loads.

We actually moved her from the nursery of a local prep, having intended for her to remain in the private sector. Despite the small class sizes and sports and gorgeous playing field, there was lots about the place that wasn’t for us. A saving of almost 20k per child per year in taxed income is enough to target any shortfalls, for us.

It obviously depends totally on the particular private and state schools you are considering, and how they would suit your own children.

You could get most of that, but not all from a state school. You would need to add in other services, which come with their own costs. Could probably get it for less, but you are paying for the convenience of it being all in one place.

8.20am start - you would need to book breakfast club

senior teacher always waiting by the gate to greet each child by name - the headteacher at DD's state primary does this

writing, maths, phonics etc in his class of 12 children that has 1 teacher and part time TA - groups would be bigger in state, you could maybe hire a tutor for extra lessons outside school to compensate

No disruption - luck of the draw but far from garenteed

forest school once per week - DD's state school did this

Read with actual paper books! No tablets - plenty of schools do this

The teacher or TA reads with him most days - more likely to be a volunteer parent, plus you can listen to hin at home

sports 3x per week, including swimming, dance and PE, club until 4.30 every day, things like art or sports - you would need to look at out of school clubs and classes, my kids do all this but not at school

after school care til 5.35 if you want it - afterschool club would do this for additional charge

a lot of contact with the teacher - any emails I've sent have alway been replied to, but more likely to ask thing at pickup then email me

lots of outside space so the children help occasionally in the vegetable garden - depends on school, but plenty have this

good quality food, cooked on site - most state school lunch is terrible, but you could always send a packed lunch

school trips 3x year - about the same, but mostly to local national trust place or free museum.

Yes, all those things happen and are available at my twins’ state school. The only difference is they are in a class of 19.

This is pretty much the same as my son’s infant school in a naice area in Surrey. The key difference is 30 kids in a class and two full time TAs. There’s also interventions before school for phonics and handwriting and also A LOT of extra curricular activities (music lessons, rocksteady band, theatre club, sports clubs, the list goes on). We pay for the school through the cost of housing though, and extras via funding by the PTA.

I have worked in both private and state secondaries and honestly don’t think it’s worth the money unless the schools in the area are woefully unsuitable. What worries me is the number of unqualified teachers in private who are ill-equipped to teach. Shockingly bad teaching in the school I was head of department in from ‘Drs’ and oxbridge graduates. There’s also a lack of scrutiny from ofsted (because they aren’t inspected in the same way) so a lot of things go unchecked, even by ISI or other inspectorates. In the end it very much depends on the school whatever the case.

Yes - sounds very similar to most of the Primary Schools in our surrounding villages.

I think something for you to think about would be whether you can send all your kids to private school. If your doubting the cost now then how are you going to feel when all your kids attend?

State schools really can vary, my DD goes to a state school as there aren't really any private ones I liked in our area and I don't want her to board. I am looking at options for private secondary schools though but I'm not sure if it would be right for her as she adores all her friends.

Most likely, yes. My though was we were in an ok nice area with educated parents. The engaged parents often went private.

A lot of parents in our state really didn't engage with school/their children and of course it's a generalisation. Maybe too busy with work. Some blind for SEN needs.
Some children with another mothertongue than English having a hard time.

This thread is way different from what
parents usually tell from their state schools on MN. Which of course is great.

My husband is a secondary school teacher
and would say you are right in your remarks.

My DC get all of that besides the small class sizes at state primary. They even swim weekly throughout KS2.

We both work full time 8-5 and the DC also do extra-curriculars. Often take them straight from school. No extra curriculars on Saturday though. That's family time.

I think there is an assumption that "good area" necessarily equals good schools which you make here

My kids school, I expect would be looked down on by many here - it is over 50% pupil premium. I think many would be snobby about it.

But it's used that pupil premium money in part to create a special place in the school for those children with SEND who can't cope in the classroom for a full day. They go there mostly in the afternoon for sensory activities which helps regulate them and helps them to learn but also massively reduces disruption in the classroom for the other kids.

Our school starts at 8.30 with families being greeted by the head or deputy at the gate. We have weekly swim lessons April to October in an outdoor pool for the whole school. Also weekly forest school in reception, fortnightly for the older years. Class size of up to 30 but can be as low as 20. Teacher response can be a few days but often very quick. Use actual books to read and do pe twice a week. After school clubs until 4.30 - football, dance, martial arts, lego club, cookery club, multi sports and others. After school care until 5.30. Trips are twice a year including residential in year 6. Level of disruption depends on the class, the size, the pupils and the teacher. Lovely food cooked fresh onsite
I would say I get most things on your list and what I don’t isn’t worth paying for

Sounds identical to our local state primary - every single point you’ve mentioned is the same EXCEPT the big one which is staff ratio. We have one teacher and one TA for 30 kids