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AIBU?

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Step mums comment regarding tanning beds has upset me

186 replies

TScarv · 03/07/2026 12:45

I went for some food last night with my dad and step mum, I asked them if they’ve been away recently because they look very tanned, and they said no, they’ve just been using the tanning beds. My partner said he has never been on them but he might go on a few times before holiday so that he doesn’t burn, to which I replied that I don’t think it’s a good idea and he’d be best just protecting his skin in the sun. My dad said “you don’t like sun beds do you?” And I said no, they scare me. My step mum then said “I don’t care, it’s worth it”

AIBU to be a bit upset by this? Surely no one actually thinks that having a tan is worth getting skin cancer? Would she still have that same opinion if she’s hit with a melanoma diagnosis in the future? I didn’t say anything because it’s up to them what they want to do, and nothing to do with me. But the comment had upset me/annoyed me because I can’t wrap my head around how they value a tan over their skin health or life? Do people just not view skin cancer as important?

my grandma has smoked all her life and my dad has always begged her to stop but she didn’t. She now has COPD and is in a bad way and my dad is angry at her for not stopping years ago. But yet he’s messing with tanning beds?? How does that make sense?

OP posts:
Giantfeets · 03/07/2026 12:57

I’ve got friends who have had various moles removed due to skin damage who still go on sunbeds. Stupid people

SilenceInside · 03/07/2026 12:56

I wouldn't be upset about it, as it's their choice. They sound ignorant of the risks and don't seem interested in educating themselves about it. I would be disappointed in that sort of attitude, and I suppose you could try making the comparison to smoking and COPD if you haven't already.

I think your partner also needs educating as well if he thinks that getting a tan from a sunbed will protect his skin from burning or being damaged when on holiday.

Namingbaba · 03/07/2026 12:54

I don’t really get the logic from your partner. How is tanning by bed going to help for the holiday?

I wouldn’t be upset as you can’t control others. Your step mum saying she doesn’t care shows she knows the risks but doesn’t care. It’s like people who smoke. I don’t get it as it’d be horrible to get cancer.

Rosiecloud · 03/07/2026 12:54

My best friend died at 29 from skin cancer caused by tanning beds. So let them crack on and try and stop your OH from going anywhere near them.

YourLoudEagle · 03/07/2026 12:52

I am surprised they are still legal. Its ignorant of her, but you can't control her. I think its stupid too and would be upset if someone I cared about wanted to harm themselves but not much you can do unfortunatley.

WaneyEdge · 03/07/2026 12:51

Loads of people (late teens and early 20s) I know from work use them. I was gobsmacked as the warnings have been around for years but it’s not my business so 🤷‍♀️

TScarv · 03/07/2026 12:51

charactershoes · 03/07/2026 12:50

Not unreasonable to think tanning beds are a bad idea (I do too) but you are unreasonable to let it upset you - unfortunately people do all kinds of stupid things in the name of vanity, you can’t get wound up about it.

I guess it’s just because I love them and would be affected by it if either of them got cancer. So to hear that they actively don’t care just feels distressing to me, but I may just be very sensitive lol

OP posts:
charactershoes · 03/07/2026 12:50

Not unreasonable to think tanning beds are a bad idea (I do too) but you are unreasonable to let it upset you - unfortunately people do all kinds of stupid things in the name of vanity, you can’t get wound up about it.

sandalbed · 03/07/2026 12:49

Lots of people still use tanning beds despite the dangers 🤷🏻‍♀️

ChipDaleRescueRangers · 03/07/2026 12:48

They should be banned for all but medical reasons (I know some skin conditions can be helped with use a sun bed). They are so dangerous.

However as they are legal, let them get on with it, just dont expect any sympathy if they get skin cancer.

youngwhippersnapper · 03/07/2026 12:47

She does sound quite ignorant but it’s not worth you being upset over.
Leave her to it.

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