Step mums comment regarding tanning beds has upset me

People who "can't believe" people still use sunbeds, can you believe people still smoke, drink, eat processed foods, don't exercise, eat too much etc etc. Why is it different?

The fact that tanning beds - and tanning bed shops - are legal in 2026 is a massive mystery to me. That and boxing as a legitimate source of 'entertainment'.

I'm certain that because they are so normalised, people convince themselves there's no harm.

She sounds a bit stupid but she wasn’t being rude or nasty. I wouldn’t be upset by it.

Everyone choose what risks they’re willing to take. Some drink more than the recommended amount for example - maybe they wouldn’t phrase it as “I don’t care, it’s worth it” but that’s clearly the calculation being made, they like the taste of alcohol and the effect it has on them, and so don’t consider the increased risk of various cancers to be worth stopping/reducing drinking for.
Your step mum likes how she looks with a tan, maybe how she feels as well if it makes her more confident, and doesn’t consider the risk of skin cancer to be worth stopping over.

I don't see anything there for you to be personally upset about. You can disagree.

Fwiw I usually do a few (like a handful) of short sessions at the start of the summer, just ti take the edge off my pastyness, so that I can be outside for more than 5 mins without burning. This year I decided to be sensible and not do it. 20 mins in the sea, in UK, and my tummy was really quite sore.

The world in full of people making choices which are suboptimal from a health perspective because they prioritise other things - smoking, drinking, dangerous activities (really any activity, including driving!).

Sun beds are not for me (although I confess to using them on the odd occasion when I was young) but I know I make other choices than endanger my health so....

I can't believe how many people still use sunbeds, a colleague goes on 3 times a week! I was in the hairdressers on a boiling hot day and so many came in to use the beds, madness

But, we all do things that are risky, they've made a choice and you don't have to like it but you have to accept it. Tell them one time how you hate them using them and wish they'd reconsider for their health, then never mention it again, and dissuade your partner if poss

Tanning beds are terrible for your health and also they will make you look like a leather handbag by the time you are 40.

My friends who used tanning beds in the 90s now look significantly older and leathery/haggard compared to those of us who used sunscreen and stayed out of the sun. So even without the increased cancer risk its very ironic to me that you are doing something you think makes you look "better" when in the long run it will make you look much, much worse.

Her comment wasn’t particularly personal or insulting to you. I don’t see why you need to be upset by it. She’s an adult and I’m sure knows the risks.

I guess it’s just because I love them and would be affected by it if either of them got cancer. So to hear that they actively don’t care just feels distressing to me, but I may just be very sensitive lol
You're distressed because they disagree with you? sensitive? I’d say dramatic and childish.

Not worth the upset.

My mum currently has five BCC’s and refuses to wear SPF.

Put a whole new spin on the phrase “dying for tan”!
Look after yourself OP, you and DP both appear to have your heads screwed on…….as for your dad, I guess love is blind in his case!

Live fast, die young.

Up to them OP. They know the dangers, try not to let it upset you.

Tanning beds have been banned by government, in a commercial sense, since 2016 in Australia. If you want to import one strictly for personal use, in your own home (and kill yourself), they will let you crack on with it.

So, your parents baffle me, but, meh, it’s all personal responsibility. If people want to kill themselves, it’s completely up to them, they should have that option. Tbf, not sure what is worse, that, or the hideous orange colour the fake tan fans have.

Everyone does their own personal risk assessment and decides what suits them.

Junk food, alcohol, smoking, being sedentary, sunbeds, smoking, red meat etc.

Annoying yes when it's someone you care about but best to keep quiet about it as ultimately it's their choice.

People vape. People drink too much alcohol. People even try to normalise obesity as ok. Sunbeds are part of stupidity culture. It’s all around us, every day. Being upset won’t do you or them any good.

In 50 years, people will look back and be shocked that sunbeds were legal. There is nothing you can do about other people’s bad habits. They are playing a risky game but it’s their decision.

To add...I've never used a sunbed. Think they're weird. I don't care what others do. I go mountain walking and risk a fall every time I do. So yeah.

Bit overbearing of you to be distressed or annoyed about this.
We've all got concerns that are personal to us and make sense. They are all different...and usually valid.
We can't and don't expect others to take them on board as their own.

@TScarv no, it’s not, you can still burn. The infra red rays burn you at surface level, sun beds are ultraviolet light and can burn you, but it’s under the surface of the skin

iirc.

I should add but the women i know why used sun beds when we were late teens and early twenties do look older and their skin isn’t great… unless they’ve had a fair bit of help from beauticians/doctors etc. I think people now think that they can just fix their ageing as needed and would rather have the tan

A new tanning salon opened in the next village to us and I was somewhat confused that sun beds were still “a thing”

i remember all the hoo haa in the noughties about how dangerous they were, so thought they’d fallen out of favour.

apparently they are still as dangerous and shouldn’t be used by anyone under 35 at all.

who knew? Not 30yo me. I used to have them quite a bit. Someone did actually tell me at the time that they weren’t good to have so much, so I dropped off and eventually stopped them.

I’m 58 now and looooooove a spray tan! That’s the way forward!

There seems to be an increase in people using them again. I’m defo seeing more ‘tanned’ people again. People also using the tanning nose sprays to accelerate them. ( hid knows what’s in them)

It’s ridiculous after all the years of messaging. I’ve started seeing people using them again for a ‘base tan’ before holidays. Plus all the misinformation on social media about sun creams causing cancer and the sun not being the problem etc 🙄

But people have free will. Most of the life choices we make that have a good chance of biting us back eventually. Smoking, drugs drinking, bad diets and sedentary lifestyle ….Some people unfortunately find out the hard way. Some get lucky so think it’s fine. My other half had a basal cell cut out last year. He rarely spends time in the sun, hates being over hot. So unlucky.

Yanbu, but your partner gave the polite answer that he might use a tanning bed before a holiday. As he has never been on one, and presumably been on holiday, I don’t think he will ever use one. So your comment was unnecessary and conflict seeking.

Some idiots think going on tanning beds before holiday will prevent burning on holiday. I couldn't be with someone this thick.

I will never understand the obsession with tans. Tanned skin is damaged skin.

I am translucent. So what. I have had loads of stupid comments over the years telling me I need fake tan/ tans. No I don't. I'm fine as I am.