Step mums comment regarding tanning beds has upset me

NHS says no safe way to get a tan and tanning does not protect from sun damage https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/seasonal-health/sunscreen-and-sun-safety/

I’m with you. Just get a spray tan!

This isnt about judgement though - its about false information.

Sunbeds dont stop you from burning on holiday. If this were true then how come its happened to everyone I know who has been on sunbeds prior to holiday? -they've all burnt badly. I include myself in that as I tried it once many years ago- didnt work

It is very concerning that they seem increasingly popular amongst teens and 20s and I'd love to see them banned completely.

To my mind they are in the same category as smoking in terms of batshit things to do to yourself

For me it's the difference between being able to ever swim outdoors or not.

ETA obviously I still need to protect my skin outdoors, and do so religiously, but that tiny bit of tan just makes it easier to enjoy summer without mishaps.

She said it but both are doing it, so you are unready to focus on her. As you say, it’s up to them. You’ve explained objection now move on.

I think a lot of people just don’t think it will
happen to them; until it does. That’s probably why their attitudes are so relaxed.

Sorry OP but you are being an bit unreasonable here. Not in your general dislike of them but at your ignorance / upset that other people might feel differently.

“Surely no one actually thinks that having a tan is worth getting skin cancer?”

Well of course they do otherwise tanning beds and salons wouldn’t exist and people wouldn’t be fighting for sun beds abroad at 6am every summer. We all take risks every day, people drink, smoke, vape, take drugs, take park in extreme sports etc. You have to learn to let other people make their own decisions

This way of thinking is so hard to process I'm almost having a stroke reading it.

Suncream will stop you from burning.

HTH.

What’s even less damaging is SPF and fake tan

I'm prepared to accept it damages my skin, but it definitiely definitely makes a difference to burning and to my mind, a few short sessions to build protection is probably less damaging than gettting burnt.

But either way, it's my choice. Are you as judgemental about people who choose to ruin their health by doing no exercise or eating processed food?

People take risks all the time. Drinking alcohol, poor diet, not enough exercise, smoking, not having vaccines, unprotected sex, sports, driving. It is just a risk, it's not as simple as you do this and you will die. People have the freedom to balance the risk against the benefits and make a personal choice.
I think you're overreacting, most of us are taking risks. Getting upset at everyone for the risks they chose to take is irrational. It's not good for your own wellbeing to carry that, it's not good for others to feel judged and criticised and it's not good for your relationships.

I agree. I went on holiday with some friends when I was much younger and they thought their sunbed tans meant they wouldn't burn. They burnt badly on the first day.

It sounds like you may have upset them as well.

telling people something they like doing is unhealthy/a bad idea often upsets them.

your partner was polite and you were bluntly honest.

Yep- UVA causes ageing and UVB causes burning. The most protection you'd get from a tan would be SPF 2 or 4 - hardly anything significant and certainly not enough to be completely safe if you are prone to burn

I used to have terrible back acne and the one thing that helped was sunshine/a tan. I did use them when in my early twenties because of this and it made such a difference to my self esteem. We weren’t so aware of the dangers back in the 90s though so they were used a lot. I wouldn’t use them now because of the risk.

You just have to let them get on with it really. Many adults will have some habit/preference that could increase the risk of cancer: alcohol, obese, certain foods. You can’t police them but I’d be encouraging my DP to stay away from them.

I think it’s a bit silly to act like a sunbed is the only way to prevent a sunburn though. Wear suncream, stay in the shade wear possible etc.

I mean, as I’ve said upthread I think people make choices that aren’t the best for their health all the time, and sunbeds are no different. And I don’t really understand people’s desperate superiority over not using sunbeds while being unhealthy in multiple other ways. But a sunbed is not protecting your skin.

I think you've taken her response a bit too personally. Whilst it isn't a good choice to make, she's entitled to use tanning beds if she wants to. My in-laws smoke like chimneys, there's little to be gained from pointing out the bleeding obvious to them so I never have.

You’re still damaging your skin

Not true. Sunbeds are primarily UVA while sunburn is caused by UVB. Sunbed use before a holiday does nothing other than damage your skin.

Smoking and drinking is bad for your health but they aren’t banned?

YABU for thinking that ‘no one can think’ they’re acceptable just because you don’t. Controversially, some people have their own opinions.

If I use them gradually before a holiday, I don’t burn. If I don’t use them, I burn. Sunburn is worse for you than tanning gradually.

People just don’t care.

We let people eat crap food, do stupid things, drive etc. all of those are risky.

Like @KitsyWitsy I am also so pale I’m pale blue. I’m about to get a flight home after 10 days in the Balearics and I’m pleased to say I don’t have a tan nor am I burned. I didn’t sunbathe, wore clothes that covered my shoulders and factor 50?everywhere else.

I’m sure that when I go back to work on Monday people will say that i “don’t look like I’ve been on holiday” but do what?

My partner said he has never been on them but he might go on a few times before holiday so that he doesn’t burn
Is he a shit hot lover or something because he seems a bit dim.

Yes this. Being upset is a big over reaction.

also remember they are increasing their risk of skin cancer. They are not going to get skin cancer as some kind of certainty! You wouldn’t worry about people who drink alcohol or smoke in this way.