Step mums comment regarding tanning beds has upset me

Freewill means we are all entitled to make stupid choices.

I'll never get the tanning bed think but I'm fat and smoked for 15 yrs and think we all risk our health in various ways, in our quest for happiness

Do they know the risks? It sounds a very innocuous discussion to get upset about - you didn’t even touch on the risks.

Imagine being so annoyed by someone else’s OPINION. You are not the oracle. If she likes sunbeds let her get on with it - I don’t agree with them but it’s not my business what others do

I wouldn’t be upset by people using one, I would never want to use one myself.
You can’t get upset about people choosing to live their lives their own way, yes they may have to suffer with the consequences in the future or they may not.
Some people choose to sit down to a full English breakfast everyday, chomp down loads of red meat, drink to excess etc
I may be the odd one out, but after telling them that they are increasing their risk of skin cancer by quite a high proportion I would leave them to crack on.

I ince read a statistic alomg the lines of you're more likely to die from skin cancer if you're a sunbed user than if you're a smoker from cigarettes.

Apparently tanning is back via TikTok ’tanfluencers’ and suncream is full of chemicals and to be avoided. Scary stuff.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/523316440ed88c7f

This. I agree with you @TScarv but there's no need to get upset.

YANBU to be amazed they’re risking their health for a ‘glow’, and you’re right to be concerned, but what can you do?!

It’s not just cancer concerns either, sunbeds can trigger a lifelong autoimmune response called Polymorphous Light Eruption - which is an allergic reaction to UV rays, basically a giant pain in the arse come every Spring especially if you later move to a hot climate. Ask me how I know 🙄 At least I was young and uninformed, but even in the 90s, I knew they were sketchy. My dermatologist only had so much pity for doing that to myself 🤣

Ineiukdbtbuse them, but many people have (years ago) and don’t have cancer. Many people haven’t, and do have cancer.

It’s more nuanced than straight evidential research of whatever.

I tan on a sunbed before I go on holiday, it stops me exposing my skin, at all. At 60, it's only the smokers and heavy drinkers who look older, but who gives a shit about looking our age?

You say you dont care about looking your age but in the next breath say its only the smokers and drinkers who look older? 🙄

It's absolutely not! In my large social circle the people who tanned, went on sunbeds and sunbathed a lot look at least 15 years older than those who didnt- their skin looks very hard and leathery now (and we are in our 40s).

Of my two nans alone - one never sat in the sun, one always did. The one who never sat in the sun had no wrinkles at all and had beautiful smooth skin, my sun worshipping nan had skin like chamois leather with lots of scars from having chunks of her face cut out due to pre cancerous lesions which looked like brown crusty scabs.

Noone is saying anyone should be obsessed with looking younger than they are but to imply the sun doesnt age you is absolutely laughable.

Why are you only focussing on what your dad and step mum said when your own partner said he was also planning to use one?

Former Marie Curie - I worked with a lot of patients who had skin cancer, It can drag on for years before people realise there is a problem. Caught early it is more treatable but some will die from it if it spreads to deeper organs.
I smother in sun tan lotion and cover up I stay pale as a result.
I've been told I look anemic - I'm not - but I'd rather safe than burnt or potentially dying from wanting a tan.

They are wrong but don't get upset about it.
You could reply though by saying that people said that about smoking and many now regret it. And tanning beds are dangerous like cigarettes

This doesn't make sense, would you have been ok if they had have been away and got a tan? Couple that with eating bacon/processed meats and drinking and their cancer stats go up. But going on a sunbed only increases it slightly.
I tan on a sunbed before I go on holiday, it stops me exposing my skin, at all. At 60, it's only the smokers and heavy drinkers who look older, but who gives a shit about looking our age? What drive the skin cancer rates at one point was the men who served in the Egypt etc campaigns tbh they should have been compensated. Then there's those working outside, or doing sports/hobbies outside. Sunbed usage can in rease your risk by 15%. Which is the same as having exposed skin and having a alcoholic drink. Feet are very sensitive, start a thread on trainers and a dress and posters will say they'll stick to sandals, well their cancer risk just went up. See how ridiculous your reaction is?

You do sound a bit pathetic getting upset because someone else said they don’t care about risks to themselves from using sunbeds. Do you not do anything ever that carries a risk?

I agree that it's stupid to say a tan is worth risking skin cancer, but on the other hand, we all do something we really shouldn't, if we're honest with ourselves. I'd try to resign myself to that and just avoid the topic again. (But privately I'd still be annoyed with her messed-up priorities.)

My step mum then said “I don’t care, it’s worth it”

YABU @TScarv
Im not going to argue about whether sunbeds are a good idea or not.

But the bottom line is that both your SM and your dad don’t care about the potential risk vs what they are getting out of it now. For them, it’s worth doing that even with the risk.
I suppose you could compare that with doing a ‘dangerous’ sport <insert kayaking, mountaineering, climbing etc etc> because you truly enjoy it so it’s worth the risk.
Theyve taken a decision. I’m sure theyre aware of the risks. Now it’s up to them.

I am amazed these tanning beds are still allowed. Absolute death traps Imho.

Sun beds are incredibly dangerous. Of course, you can’t fix stupid, can you?

I have melanoma. May not live to see my kids reach 18. I’ve never used a sun bed in my life. Used SPF 50 my whole adult life, never intentionally tried to get tan. Unfortunately, I had a lot of sun damage as a child as my parents didn’t use suncream on me. They liked a tan.

At least it’s their own stupid fault if they get sick and die, unlike those of us who didn’t get cancer because of lifestyle factors we had any choice about.

I think YABU to be upset. I don't like tanning beds or smoking but I drink wine and eat rich food including red meat and carcinogens like bacon. Everyone has to make their own decisions and we all have to let our loved ones make their own decisions, even when we don't agree.

Most forms of skin cancer are very treatable, and even melanomas are much more treatable these days than they were, especially if you catch them early.

But even if you assume it would be easy to treat, there's still an emotional toll on family and just the practicalities of having to go for treatment, assuming it's not just putting cream on. Why risk it unnecessarily.

A lot of women do risky things for their looks, plastic surgery, fillers, veneers etc, and some get nasty infections or worse like Denise Hendry (?). Most of these things are purely cosmetic, but some people used to think tanning beds were healthy for Vit D, so if she thinks it's the equivalent of having a risky medical procedure which can have long term good effects for health, like a gastric bypass or whatever, you can tell her the dangers. But if they're adults, there's not much you can do. And men are getting worse too, smashing their faces to get a good jaw, steroids etc.

I don't know why they are allowed. Awful things. I don't know if there's any legitimate medical reason for them.

But I'd simply say "oh well don't ask me for lifts to the hospital when you need treatment for skin cancer".

Smoking/vaping and using tanning beds have to be among the most stupid things anyone can do which are fully avoidable.

🤷‍♀️ there’s loads of thickos around

It is not.