Assaulted by doubles partner - would you take further?

This is quite an extreme reaction op - breaking down, crying and feeling ‘raw’ about it for a long time after. Do you have a history of being assaulted? Obviously not asking for details.

Is he part of your group of friends who go together? Or do you go to the club, see who's there and 'team up'?
Either way it's not OK, but no real point in reporting to the club if he's one of your friends and you all go together.

She said that HE SAID he did it to men all the time, doesn’t mean it’s true. Big difference.

He was trying to excuse his disgusting behaviour.

He'd have blown it up himself.

Lots of men do this in sport - usually to other men. Weird but whatever. He apologised straight away. I mean if he does anything like it ever again then report but I wouldn’t blow a man’s - who you’ve said is usually nice’ life up for one mistake. That’s crazy.

As women I think we should stand together. Not everyone feels able to confront this kind of behaviour. By speaking up we help those who don't feel able to do it themselves.

I would not involve the police now because his intensions, at the time were not to cause harm and although that was exactly what he did.........I suggest you clear the air with him by telling him to never hit you again, and from now on, absalutely no physical contact.

In the future as he approaches you tell him firmly STOP.

This should make him much less likely to inflict harm on you again.

If he fails to understand the warning you have given him and hits you again, then report him to the police and get him charged.

I would say you acknowledge he’s animated. You didn’t like what he did and you told him so. He apologised. You say he’s generally a “normal” member usually to your knowledge. Let it be this time. If it happens again be firm and tell him you’ve already told him, have a word with the club and refuse to partner him in future.
I don’t want to dismiss how you feel but I do think maybe there’s a lot of jumping to extremes currently.

i guess it’s the age old - what are you hoping the outcome to be? Are you hoping he stops - in which case you’ve told him you don’t like what he’s done and now need to give him the chance to change or do you want to attend court and have the man convicted in which case inform the police as that’s the potential outcome there. I am truly sorry that you were so upset. Do you think it’s the tap on the bottom that made you upset or the shock that it was done?

I’d tell him in no uncertain terms that if he ever does it again, or to any other woman, that I will report him to the police. And then let it go. But I wouldn’t be crying over it, in your case as it’s upsetting you so much you might want to take it further. Whatever feels right to you is the right thing to do. Put yourself first.

It seems that it’s something which men do - I’m not by any means excusing g it , it just seems a ‘thing’ with men in sport.
If men in sport want to smack each others bums then they can crack on but it’s disgraceful that he thinks it’s ok to do it to women.
I wouldn’t report him to the police - I would report it in person and in writing to the club though.
If he does it again - police.

You are joking, right? Or do you really think a woman can’t look after herself, and needs a big strong man to protect her?

I certainly wouldnt report that. Id have told him if he touched me ever again Ill fuck him up. Or get your husband to tell him.

He might take note of your reaction and never do it again to you, but unfortunately he may try it on with others. If nobody reports the first time, he carries on doing it. If they've already "had a word" after a previous complaint, then this time he definitely ought to be kicked out. You probably don't want this guy to see you as the person who got him kicked out of the club, but if he's had a warning it wouldn't be just you, and they can probably make it sound as if someone else saw it, rather than you complaining.

I have played racket sports at clubs for over 40 years. I have never seen this behaviour with either gender at any point.
Whilst the bloke is a bit of a weird creep, I’d feel perfectly capable of giving him a both barrels talking to (which you did) without it being a cause for tears and angst beyond that. You don’t…Why is that?
A lot of the comments here are batshit. You can’t all seriously expect the police to become involved in such minor issues, surely?

This. We’re taught to alleviate everyone else’s discomfort (at our own expense). Fuck that. I’m done smoothing over others’ poor actions so that nobody has to experience an uncomfortable conversation.

Report it to the club. He is responsible for his behaviour. You did not consent to this man touching you and were uncomfortable with it because it's sexual assault. It's not for this bloke to seem it okay because it suits him to. And it's definitely not okay. From your OP it is clear he was not really sorry, he was minimising it.

My first question to @Katiew29 is what does resolution look like to you? Do you want him removed from the club, warned or would you prefer not to partner with him again?

By all means report him to the club, I rather doubt that this would reach a threshold for the Police to proceed to prosection.

Yes, he assaulted you. Report it. Let’s see how his “encouraging” slap on the arse line works when he speaks to the police. I’m prepared to bet he doesn’t slap any male players on the bum.

I think you should report it, at least to the club. You said he said "he does it all the time, but usually to male partners" which means other women have been affected, and he needs to know that he can't continue.

I think it depends.

for context, I also play a doubles racquet sport at club level, and understand the atmosphere that often goes with it.

If you’ve seen him do it to others, then I would be more inclined to think that he forgot himself in the heat of the moment and leave it with your entirely justified comments to him. I would hope if it was a genuine blip in otherwise acceptable behaviour over the years, he’d be mortified and it would never happen again.

but if you’ve never seen him do it to anyone else, I would take a much harsher line, and report. I think most clubs now have to have safeguarding / welfare reps now, so I would start by speaking to them in the first instance.

You pulled him up. I personally would leave it there. However if you feel the need then speak to someone at the club.

I certainly wouldnt be reporting to the police. Total overkill.

Yeah it seems to be when they do it too. Seriously weird as fuck to me, especially in ‘this day and age’. I genuinely struggle to believe anyone wants to be slapped on the arse by a random sporting collègue but there we are.

if he was suitably mortified, made a sincere apology etc I probably wouldn’t be wanting to turn this into an assault charge for someone - but I also wouldn’t want to play with them again I doubt. If I felt it was very specifically aimed at me - either because I’m a woman or just because it’s me - then I’d 100% be reporting it. You do say he’s one of those (frankly tiresome) over-enthusiastic at club sports people so less likely if he’s normal otherwise.

bit I’m not the one who’s been slapped so it’s easy to pontificate about what I would or wouldn’t do

I bet a lot of the men are also uncomfortable with this but wouldn’t report or complain because they would be embarrassed about it.

He definitely shouldn’t have done it and it sounds like it was quite painful, which would have upset me too, OP. It doesn’t sound on the face of it like it was sexually motivated. It is a common thing in many sports, and he may well do it to male partners as well. In your shoes I don’t think I would take it further than letting him know clearly that it’s not acceptable, which you have done.