Assaulted by doubles partner - would you take further?

I don’t know what’s going on with the poll! Sorry you’re so upset OP :(

I’d report to the club/the person in charge there (not sure I’d involve police but then I wasn’t there).

He knew what he was doing I wouldn’t say he ‘forgot himself’ and I think he needs to know it’s unacceptable. If he truly was apologetic then maybe you could talk to him about it before reporting to the club, but it doesn’t sound like he was?

Yes it is sexual assault. Indecent assault is an outdated term.

I’d report it to the club. I wouldn’t report it to the police because to be honest I think they wouldn’t do anything and it would just make things really uncomfortable as a lot of people would think it over the top when it is quite normal behaviour for men to men, but a club reminder about appropriate behaviour would be very reasonable. He had no right, and if he gets mad he has no right to do that either.

You put him in his place . He apologised. If he does it again then report .

Tbh given you called him out on it and he apologised and you say outside of the sport he's not like this, I wouldn't take it further.

There's a lot of over reacting going on here. You asked him not to, he apologised, and hasn't done it again. Breaking down over a butt slap or reporting it seems a bit over the top.

‘Women supporting women’ does not equate to posters having to agree with anything and everything another woman suggests.

I support women. 100%. I’m sorry this happened to the op. However, I feel the circumstances and the man’s response were adequate. I don’t believe the police need to be told. I don’t believe at this point anything else needs to happen. I do think Op is over-reacting.

I think report to the club. I wouldn't report to the police unless he did anything else. If he generally seems non-creepy then perhaps this was a genuine (though unacceptable) brain fart moment.

Why should women support something they feel is wrong though? Just because the proposed action is to be taken by a woman?
That’s nuts!

I would do this too.

Sorry that this happened to you.

Because "custom and practice" is significant.

There is no denying that there is custom and practice while playing sports for people to slap or pat each other's bums and that it's not intended sexually. If you don't want it to happen then you have to make that clear and then if it happens again there's a problem.

There is NO custom or practice for squeezing someone's breasts or slapping them across the face. If he had done either of those things then the reaction would and should be entirely different and far more serious.

Interesting that all your examples use the word 'butt' and are presumably American. I've never seen this on television. For all I know, it does happen in American team sports. But in a private club? Unlikely.

The support for op on this thread is shocking. Women supporting women?

I would put everything in writing to the club, ask for a copy of their safeguarding policy, and request a written response from them detailing what action they will take.

For you, I'd not be playing doubles with that person again and - if asked why - explain what happened.

If it’s a one-off, he’s gone over your boundary and you’ve let him know you won’t accept it.

I actually think you have dealt with it supremely well already.

Whatever you decide to do next, you have drawn your line. Well done.

Report him especially to the club
He needs to learn to stop.

Total agreement I play in a women's team sport and we were encouraged to butt tap when praising good play or encouraging after a mistake. I don't but I'm old!
Football for such a homophobic sport (men's) the players are all over each other all the time.
I do think it's different in mixed gender sports and is overstepping. But you called it out and he said sorry and you haven't had any weird vibes before. I probably wouldn't play with him again though.

I’m sure you’re right, but I find this argument pretty difficult. Where is the line? If he decided to give someone’s breast an “encouraging squeeze” and it wasn’t, in HIS eyes, sexual, would he get away with that as well? Not really relevant, but I just find this personally problematic. Why can’t men just keep their hands to themselves?!?

Say the OP was slapped somewhere else instead of her bottom, perhaps her face, would you expect her to laugh it off? If someone slapped me anywhere on my body I’d be furious. If they slapped me on my bottom I’d be furious and upset and possibly cry at some point. There is no right or wrong way to react to an assault.

A couple of years ago at a Xmas Night Out, a woman my age came into the pub where we all met and tweaked my backside at the bar to let me know she was there. Is that sexual assault? I don't think it is..

I think you have a right to feel however you feel. I personally, unless there were wider circumstances eg him being a creep, would let it go. Worst case I might not play with him any more. However it is your experience. I would report him to the club if I felt unsafe or that others might be unsafe. If it was just unpleasant and you're upset/annoyed then I would suggest DH have a word and just say - listen mate, not on, she's very upset as am I. Stop doing it to anyone male or female.

@MyCatPrefersPeaches OP says he does do it to men.

This reminds me of an episode of Friends, with Chandler’s boss.

To be honest this would be my response also.

Is this a genuine question?

I completely agree.

His explanation is completely plausible and OP did the right thing by telling him not to do it again.

I think it would be silly reporting it when it was likely not meant in an inappropriate way.

If it happened again then I would 100% report but not as a one off if there was no ill intent behind it.