“All the trimmings” - to find this quite vile?

No it wasn’t but unfortunately it was turned into that by you and lots of other posters who have insisted on calling women whores and prostitutes for liking sexy lingerie. Not very feminist I must say

Oh my god this thread is absolutely insane 🤣

It's two posts with hardly any context/info about a guy using what I agree is a VERY cringe term for lingerie. Very likely being playful/light hearted and missing the mark big time.

What follows is 10 pages of posts, most of them assuming he is "demanding" the op wear something she would find uncomfortable and prance around solely for his enjoyment and she should dump him immediately because obviously he's an abusive pervert.

And not to mention indicating any woman who might (god forbid) enjoy wearing something a bit different now and again or even regularly try different things to wear, simply must be a prostitute or a whore with no self respect. Because god forbid some couples actually enjoy anything like that.

It's like some people on here are determined to automatically assume the absolute worst because they want to be outraged.

But that’s not what the post is about at all 🤣🤣

I agree with @DimwittedSkater , either the clothes or the way he requested them has turned you off. Both are legitimate. If he can’t handle you communicating why that is a turn off, he's not a keeper and there is really no long term future where your sexual happiness is important.

Personally I would bristle at being ‘reminded’ to pack sexy outfits, but if it had been phrased differently it might have seemed more flattering and less like a takeaway order.

I came on here to talk about roast dinner

The women on here are insane tbh. I got called a whore for suggesting that some women like it and that it’s totally okay for people to have different sexual preferences. Makes me wonder if all these women hate their saggy bodies and their husbands never get anyway (unless they’re single ofc)

Seriously what is wrong with a woman wanting to impress her partner in bed??

Don’t do it, if he doesn’t want you without “all the trimmings” then he doesn’t deserve you.

If you had chosen to bring that stuff on your own volition because you know it’s something he likes and you wanted to dress up then that’s completely different, but it shouldn’t be demanded of you, yuck.

The baseline for a relationship is mutual respect. Clearly, his comments made you feel disrespected. And that’s the point that’s important here.
Nobody else’s thoughts on whether it’s just banter, or it’s truly disrespectful in their view, matter. The basis of a healthy relationship is an alignment on what is and isn’t acceptable. You will need to have a conversation, and if that isn’t something you think the relationship can survive, then that is your answer.

One person's flirty talk is another person's boke-inducing nightmare.

At least he didn't ask for picky bits.

Is everyone on here literally determined to be outraged at absolutely everything? Jesus Christ.

Yuck. To me it sounds like a stuffed turkey?! I'm just imagining a bloody giant turkey wearing stockings and a suspender belt and a peep hole bra! Maybe that's more a me problem! 🤣

Is he always like this? Is dressing up something you usually do and would he say something about it? Context matters imo as my bf might say something like this as well and it's part of a normal exchange because well, dressing up is something I do a lot.
If it's not something usual for the two of you, then I'd be concerned.

I would get the ick and feel like a piece of meat, because that’s literally how you’d describe a roast dinner. I also wouldn’t enjoy being told to pack sexy clothes, not asked. I’d probably be happy to pack and wear stockings, but after a conversation where he mentioned he liked them, or asked me what I thought of them, so that I wear them of my own volition not because it’s been demanded of me. I hope he remembers to pack his manners

I’d be telling him - “yes -I’ve got my strap on with a tinsel trim - I hope your bringing your sparkly thong’

Sorry, but this thread is making me laugh. Just thinking about Christmas dinner now.
Seriously though, if this isn’t something that you have ever discussed then serious ICK! 🤮 the expectation that you want to dress up for him is so weird. What’s he bringing ???

😂😂😂

Weird. Why would you make assumptions about someone else’s underwear, and why would you think it’s an insult to suggest someone likes ‘sensible knickers’ anyway? (Was it also you who told OP to find a man who’ll “settle for granny pants” if she found her boyfriend’s demand for stockings demeaning?) Someone seems a little too concerned with, and judgmental about, other people’s underwear preferences…

I read OP’s post to my DH with no comment and he immediately said “ugh, the expectation for her to dress up is gross”. If a red-blooded heterosexual male who appreciates nice lingerie interpreted it as a demand, it’s not just women who you’d no doubt consider ‘prudish’ who’d take it like this.

Depends if you've worn this sort of thing before, or own any. Is it really that offensive though?

Urgh. Nope.

And this is totally on point. If you don’t dump him or worse still go away with his you have no respect.

I think this is fine if it's something you regularly do anyway and know he loves. If you've never done it before, he's obsessed with sex and makes everything sexual and you've only been together five minutes then total ick.

Errr that’s pretty vile so his idea of you have a holiday is you dressing up as his sex thing.

I would send him on his weekend away alone. But I would actually tell him by doing this -

I would then pour a large glass of wine, get a few strawberries etc and snacks and a book and sit outside and send him a photo of my book, drink and snacks and say enjoying my weekend with ALL the trimmings - enjoy yours!

wait for him to go what ?? Why aren’t you coming and reply

I am not your sex toy or a piece of meat and any man that gives any indication of that is how he is treating woman as objects needs his head examined and understand this is why he is single. Enjoy your weekend.

This was my first thought too ! I’m clearly too old and past it !

It’s not very classy or respectful is it?

”All the trimmings” is what you say about roast turkey dinners. I think I would probably have a word here because this type of language would make me feel the opposite of sexy.

Stockings/suspenders etc - it has to come from the woman, otherwise it feels like you’re performing a service. He sounds like he’s not very clever or sensitive.

Isn't it ok to be a bit playful as a couple? Is it the dressing up in stockings or the phrase all the trimmings that is so offensive?

If he treats you with respect day to day can't you see it as a bit of playful fun, which clearly hasn't landed well but that's a coaching situation not a get offended situation.