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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to ask my parents to stay in a hotel?

60 replies

Nosuchthingastoomanypets · 02/07/2026 19:13

My parents house is having some repair work done on it at the moment and my parents asked if they could stay with us until the work was done. We weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect but reluctantly said yes because of the circumstances.

We are only a week into them being here and they have done nothing but moan. 😭

We have 2 children who are both home from university for the summer. They are working part time, going out and seeing friends, having friends over, sometimes coming home in the early hours from work or after being out socially, up late gaming some nights and just doing what young adults that age do. They do their share around the house and are respectful.

My parents are complaining that they are being woken up by our children coming home late, gaming at night and chatting to friends. The kids keep the noise to a minimum at night and come in quietly when it’s late but obviously they aren’t silent.

It’s not just nights. If my kids have friends visit in the daytime, my parents are questioning who they are and how long they’ll be here. They’re monitoring how much alcohol they’re drinking, what food their friends are eating at our house, what they’re doing in the garden like playing basketball, moaning about them playing music and reporting to us what time they and their friends came home and left. My parents say they have no privacy as there are always people in the house and when I say that they have a bedroom if they want privacy, they say they want to be able to sit downstairs and have peace.

We have told my parents that we aren’t prepared to tell our kids that they need to stop doing any of what they are doing and it’s not a problem to us.

We also have dogs and my parents expect them to be kept downstairs. Again, we have said no. They can close their bedroom door and not let the dogs in their room.

I am here to moan really, I feel like asking my parents to leave and go to a hotel until their house is ready if they don’t like it but I know this won’t go down well. How the hell do we all cope? My kids are fed up of being moaned at and questioned. My husband is also ready to tell them they need to leave. They could be here for another month or more yet as they have taken the opportunity to have some other updates done to their house 😭

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/07/2026 20:29

What did they think was going to happen when they moved into a family home at just the time two young adults would be home from Uni?

You need to have another chat with them and say “look, this is how this house functions. You’re welcome to stay, but we’re not going to change that and please don’t keep mentioning all these things to us. We can help you look for an air bnb if this doesn’t work for you”.

hourspassed · 02/07/2026 19:56

Sounds awful.

You DCs should not have to feel like they can't enjoy their home and neither should you. Your DPs and overstepping the mark - it could probably get a lot worse. They are clearly unhappy being there so it might be a good time to drop a few suggestions to see how they react!

Air bnb would be a good option - you could say you know of somewhere local that is really quiet and might be a nice place for them to stay for a couple of weeks as you know they're finding it difficult living in a house with teenagers. The probably are genuinely finding it difficult tbh but they're forgetting that they are the guests here.

Foodylicious · 02/07/2026 19:55

You could ask them to stay in a hotel, or
OR
you could start treating your home as if they are not there.
Your DH could start walking about and sitting around in his pants.
Either of you to walk in to the lounge anytime they are watching TV and just change the channel.
Make whatever food you fancy whenever you fancy without considering if its something they like.
Invite friends round. Alot.
Stay up late.
Go for early morning runs.

How long do you think they would last?

ruolocretaw · 02/07/2026 19:45

I'd repeat what you've told them, firmly, and suggest that they may be happier if they get out of the house a bit more during the day/early evening. Sharing limited space with so many others is likely wearing down everyone's patience, but personally I'd hesitate to suggest a hotel unless it's to the point that the relationship is in danger of irreparable harm. However, everyone's family situation is different, so it depends on your history with them, how they'd likely react, etc.

Ponoka7 · 02/07/2026 19:45

TBF this should have been thought out and talked about, when they first asked. Mixed generation living doesn't work, in households like yours. It's one last sit down conversation, re this is how your life is and perhaps if they can't live with it, then they need to think about at least having a break and going away for a few days, to break up their stay. Or looking at other options.

Middlemarch123 · 02/07/2026 19:39

You’re doing them a huge favour and saving them a lot of money. They need to shut up and be grateful or move out. Your kids are just doing what kids do, and it’s their home. So I agree, if they don’t like it, they can spend money for peace and quiet.

Zanatdy · 02/07/2026 19:36

They are guests in your home. I’d politely say this seems to be stressing you out so much have you considered an AirBnb. Then say you’re just thinking of them as they clearly didn’t remember how it is living with young people, and this is their home and if you’re ok with their comings and goings then your parents need to suck it up, or leave.

SaffaIrish · 02/07/2026 19:33

Remind them that they are welcome but they are guests and are not currently acting like good guests. This is your children’s home and they are allowed to live in their home as they always do. Remind them that if it’s not to their liking you’d completely understand if they decided to make alternative living arrangements.

Cherrysoup · 02/07/2026 19:30

Will this be relationship breaking? Are they likely to be horribly offended? I can’t do more than 2 nights with my mother, so I’d say ask them to stay elsewhere.

Have you actually told them what you’ve said here? They’re monitoring alcohol consumption and want privacy downstairs in a communal area?! Batshit.

Worriednanof1 · 02/07/2026 19:16

Sounds awful, bloody cheek. They should just be grateful to you & pitching in to help not moaning. Maybe suggest if they are unhappy they might prefer to stay elsewhere?

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