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Original poster

AIBU to ask my parents to stay in a hotel?

60 replies

Nosuchthingastoomanypets · 02/07/2026 19:13

My parents house is having some repair work done on it at the moment and my parents asked if they could stay with us until the work was done. We weren’t exactly jumping for joy at the prospect but reluctantly said yes because of the circumstances.

We are only a week into them being here and they have done nothing but moan. 😭

We have 2 children who are both home from university for the summer. They are working part time, going out and seeing friends, having friends over, sometimes coming home in the early hours from work or after being out socially, up late gaming some nights and just doing what young adults that age do. They do their share around the house and are respectful.

My parents are complaining that they are being woken up by our children coming home late, gaming at night and chatting to friends. The kids keep the noise to a minimum at night and come in quietly when it’s late but obviously they aren’t silent.

It’s not just nights. If my kids have friends visit in the daytime, my parents are questioning who they are and how long they’ll be here. They’re monitoring how much alcohol they’re drinking, what food their friends are eating at our house, what they’re doing in the garden like playing basketball, moaning about them playing music and reporting to us what time they and their friends came home and left. My parents say they have no privacy as there are always people in the house and when I say that they have a bedroom if they want privacy, they say they want to be able to sit downstairs and have peace.

We have told my parents that we aren’t prepared to tell our kids that they need to stop doing any of what they are doing and it’s not a problem to us.

We also have dogs and my parents expect them to be kept downstairs. Again, we have said no. They can close their bedroom door and not let the dogs in their room.

I am here to moan really, I feel like asking my parents to leave and go to a hotel until their house is ready if they don’t like it but I know this won’t go down well. How the hell do we all cope? My kids are fed up of being moaned at and questioned. My husband is also ready to tell them they need to leave. They could be here for another month or more yet as they have taken the opportunity to have some other updates done to their house 😭

OP posts:
MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/07/2026 09:31

They need to go home!

lessglittermoremud · 03/07/2026 09:28

Can you get them to have a week away, dress it up as a gift.
Sounds like you all need a break.
”Hey Parents, I know it must be stressful being with us all the time, all the comings and goings from our house must be exhausting.
Why don’t you look at a little break somewhere, happy to drop you somewhere and pick you up if you need a hand”
I can’t imagine they’d forgive you telling them to leave as they sound a bit tone deaf to their impact on the house.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/07/2026 09:22

I’ve only come on to say you sound like really great parents, relaxed and welcoming Flowers

SlenderRations · 03/07/2026 09:08

Life is short / don’t let them spoil your summer. Firm conversation pointing out that this is how your family live and nothing is changing. Plus, given that, you don’t want to hear any sniping or complaints - you like having your house being relaxed and a social centre for your children’s set and don’t want that or their enjoyment spoiled with sniping. You understand that it is very different from how your parent like to live, so would totally understand if they chose to move out to an Airbnb, but this is how it has to be if they stay. Very calm and matter of fact.

it could cause a some ruffled feathers. , but I think you are heading that way anyway if they remain so miserable with the conditions.

bottom line, you offered them accom in your home, not to recreate the conditions of theirs

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 03/07/2026 08:49

SaffaIrish · 02/07/2026 19:33

Remind them that they are welcome but they are guests and are not currently acting like good guests. This is your children’s home and they are allowed to live in their home as they always do. Remind them that if it’s not to their liking you’d completely understand if they decided to make alternative living arrangements.

This. And if necessary look up air b n bs or hotels near them. Bloody cheek of them.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 03/07/2026 08:47

@Nosuchthingastoomanypets I had part of my house demolished and did not move out! I kept an eye on the builders. What are they having done that has made them decide to move out? It’s not necessary is it? A bit of updating lasting a few weeks is not major works. Quite frankly, they should go home and check on the builders. There will be electricity and water and, I hate to say this, builders don’t get it right and changes need to be made as you go along never mind checking the standards of the work. Suggest they monitor the work or they might be staying for even longer when it’s put right. No work lasting a short time requires moving out. Get them to go home.

Larrythecatforpm · 03/07/2026 08:46

Definitely ask them to leave, it’s yours and your children’s home and they literally expect to take over it and everyone do as they say. Tell them going forward it’s no longer viable and to find a air b&b or a hotel.

aLFIESMA · 03/07/2026 08:44

They can swap with me for the summer! They could fuss around my immaculate garden and enjoy a very quiet evenings on furniture that never gets a cushion out of place and I would just love a gaggle of young ones to be around & chat & laugh with!
Dogs too? For unlimited cuddles? Utter bliss, count me in!

EnterFunnyNameHere · 03/07/2026 08:39

I think you just need to have an honest conversation with them that this is your house (you, your DH and your kids) and whilst you were fine to let them stay as a favour, they can't expect you all to change how you live to suit them. Essentially, they either stop moaning at you or they leave!

AbzMoz · 03/07/2026 08:15

Tell them to take a cheap 2 week break abroad and that you’ll (collectively) nip in to check on tradespeople as needed.

Then tell them if they want to return to your home they need to recognise they are guests. If they can’t do that then they should stay abroad for longer or will need to find elsewhere when they come back.

Is it both of them whinging or one? I’d be letting the teenagers cut loose to make it less likely your parents want to stay…

Bikergran · 03/07/2026 07:59

Are they my neighbours? They've pissed off somewhere while workmen rip their house apart, starting work at 7.30 am and shouting/swearing all day, so we can't enjoy our gardens. They have form for this, did it last year and all the neighbours had to put up with a month of diggers, stone-dust and shouting workmen "landscaping" their garden. They should be supervising the work on their house, to ensure it's up to standard (the landscaping was not) not sitting around in yours.

Longtimelurker1980 · 03/07/2026 07:52

SaffaIrish · 02/07/2026 19:33

Remind them that they are welcome but they are guests and are not currently acting like good guests. This is your children’s home and they are allowed to live in their home as they always do. Remind them that if it’s not to their liking you’d completely understand if they decided to make alternative living arrangements.

This is rational and perfect. Do this.

olympicsrock · 03/07/2026 07:49

Find an air bnb then ask them to leave .

MinnieMountain · 03/07/2026 05:40

Definitely ask them to leave.

I still remember how difficult it was when MIL lived with us during the pandemic. We get on well, but having another adult living with you is very different.

Foughties · 03/07/2026 04:46

I would suggest an air b&b to them. Could they afford it? Might be better now before the schools break up price-wise.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/07/2026 04:39

My parents are dead, gosh that’s harsh to type) Passed away. I do miss them but even now I couldn’t imagine allowing them move in. It’s a recipe for disaster. Even the thought of living with Dad again send chills down my spine. He wasn’t a terrible person just the dynamic would freak me out having to regress and reshuffle the household. No.

suki1964 · 03/07/2026 01:14

As an adult who agreed to allow parents to move in - worse thing I ever did

Say to your parents, this is how we live, it doesnt suit you so please lets look for an air bnb - more comfortable then a hotel

As a family, you cant allow two guests to dictate. Even though they arent, you as the child are always on edge , no way to live

EmeraldShamrock000 · 03/07/2026 01:10

Yes, they can rent an air bnb home from home.

TheSandgroper · 03/07/2026 01:05

GoodGuessButNotRight · 02/07/2026 23:38

@Nosuchthingastoomanypets I would gently say ‘nothing is going to change, and they’re welcome to stay as long as they need but you’d understand if they would prefer not to’, put the ball in their court. Then leave it there.

I don’t mind what you suggest op says but I wouldn’t be saying it gently. Saying it firmly would be my way.

Along with “this is my children’s home. Not yours”.

GoodGuessButNotRight · 02/07/2026 23:38

@Nosuchthingastoomanypets I would gently say ‘nothing is going to change, and they’re welcome to stay as long as they need but you’d understand if they would prefer not to’, put the ball in their court. Then leave it there.

likelysuspect · 02/07/2026 22:11

Yes of course they should go and stay somewhere else.

Ohthisheat · 02/07/2026 22:10

Explain kindly that it's hard being guests for a long period, they obviously can't relax in your home and it simply isn't realistic for the four of you to live for weeks at a time in the way that would suit them. Suggest that you help them find a hotel close by where you can still see them regularly.

Gardenisablooming · 02/07/2026 20:40

I'd be getting the dc to assist in their departure...
Lots of people over and more gaming.

WildLeader · 02/07/2026 20:39

Tell them that you love having them visit, but this stay isn’t working for anyone. You don’t want to damage the relationship between them and you so it’s best to admit this isn’t working and they will need to find an Airbnb or some thing to stay in day to day and then they can come visit for a meal or something every so often.

be honest, be firm with a smile, don’t allow them to wheedle you

Gloriousgardener11 · 02/07/2026 20:35

It’s time they went on an extended holiday!

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