AIBU for wanting my partner to leave me completely alone so I can do my hobby?

Yes, 3 nights each leaves only one together, and you never get this time as a young family back.

Have you sat him down and talked about how much this means to you? I would worry if after that he still resents you spending time writing. It shows that he doesn't care for your inner life and ambitions but only cares what you can do for him.

I think you need to find a compromise. A clear schedule might help. Otherwise you’ll either feel guilty or he feels there’s no couples time. My partner soon starts marathon training and I did tell him that I want to support him, but that going to the gym every day after work wouldn’t work for me in terms of family life and caring for our toddler. He will now do 2 evenings per week, one morning per week, and something on the weekend fitted around family time.

I can see both sides of this one, really. It's not unreasonable to want to spend evenings with your partner, it's also not unreasonable to want to write.

Is there anywhere you could go out to, to write, so you're not disturbed?

Can you work together to find a compromise schedule, so you both have some certainty? I would personally find the unpredictability of your writing urges harder to deal with - if I know I've an evening to myself, I can mentally plan how I'll spend it, but if I was expecting to hangout with my partner and then they suddenly demanded complete solitude, that would be more upsetting.

I would make a habit of getting up earlier every day. It’s the only time nobody wants you.
I don’t know how you haven’t stabbed him with your pencil. 7-8 interruptions aaaaargh!!!

No right or wrong answer. I wouldn't mind it, but have read plenty of threads on here that would say a husband in your situation is checking out of married life/what's the point in being married etc. etc.

Ask him how he'd feel if, every time he went to the gym or played football, you wandered up to him mid-lift / mid-game and asked him for a hug or wanted him to come and sit with you.

You're cooking and eating together each night, so it's not like you're not spending any time with him, and you've also carved out time in the mornings and when he's asleep, so it's not like you're making no effort to be with him ever. I think he needs to be a bit less needy.

And yes, before anyone asks, I'd say the same if it was a husband who wanted to spend a couple of hours gaming or building Lego models or something a few nights a week.

I don't even think it's necessarily just about writing being something you need to concentrate on. I think it's about some people just needing to be alone to do their own thing without another person around. I'm like that, and I would find it hard to live with someone who wanted me around him all evening, every evening.

I think I'd try to lean into the early mornings more, if you can? Then you can have a bit of couples time in the evenings?

Are his local league games and gym attendance during times where you have to care for your child?

I'm imagining someone saying they wanted time alone 3 whole evenings a week to do gaming, for example, or working out in a shed.

If your partner had equal time to himself you'd only have one evening a week together.

I think the answer that he find something to do (out of the house?) for 3 nights a week is ok - but i'd miss my partner if i only saw him 4 out of 7 evenings regularly.

Maybe 2 nights would be better.

Can't you arrange to coincide your writing with his pub and gym trips so you get your peace and quiet and you can spend the other evenings together?

Does he have a hobby? Sounds like you need to encourage him to go to a gym so you can have the time to yourself. Of course you should be able to sit undisturbed without a needy partner sabotaging you.

I think for most people 3 nights a week doing your own thing is on the higher side. For me there wouldn’t be enough time with my DH if he dedicated almost half his available time to a hobby.