To skint us all by sending DC to private school?

Only do it if you honestly feel you can commit to the full 6 years.

We had ours in private school. I'd done the maths, I'd accounted for a rise each year in line with the highest rise the school had made in the previous 10years and it still rose more. And then vat on top finished us off and we had to withdraw them I was gutted and so were they. They are settled in their new school thankfully but it was a really difficult time for us.

There's no way I would be sending one child to a private school and the other to a comp. Good luck dealing with those resentment issues when they become adults. I'd either be stretching the budget or moving the first child back to state education.

*Not sorry you're having to pay VAT.

Well no. The local authority paid the fees for 2 years after the school became private and he was funded by a bursary for his last 2 years. In other words, he received a private education without his parents paying a penny. So a massive privilege he appears not to have appreciated.

The bitterness your youngest son will inevitably feel if he continues to be unhappy at school will carry into adulthood and tar your relationship for ever. The act of paying for one son means he will always equate that money with the belief that you loved and cared for his brother more.

Different argument altogether. His parents did not pay for him to go to a private school.

Which then became private, and he stayed.

Of course, he's also keen on abolishing the Grammar Schools.

Private healthcare is VAT exempt.

Private care homes, nursing homes and home-care agencies are VAT exempt.
Private Universities are VAT exempt.
Smoking cessation products are only charged 5% VAT.
Prescriptions, dentistry, opticians, and chiropractors are all VAT exempt.
Council owned gyms are VAT exempt.

You can even buy a bike out of your pre-tax salary.
Because all of these things represent a net saving for the government and they want to encourage people to keep using those services rather than price them out of using them.

But lots of people use those things. Plenty of people go to a private dentist because it's hard to find a decent NHS one. Lots of people have a private GP service included in their Union membership and use them to avoid the 8am appointment rush. 50% of us send our kids to University and most of us are keen to avoid our parents (or ourselves) ending up in state run care.

Private schools were an easy target because only 6% of kids are in them- and it doesn't matter that only a tiny proportion of that 6% are at elite public schools, like Eton and Harrow, and a much larger proportion are kids who were struggling in mainstream education.

And it doesn't matter to those who can afford to live wherever they want and access the very best state education. My daughter is in a class of 18 in a school with 2% FSM, next door to a farm which allows them free access and free farming lessons from the farmer, is extremely well-resourced thanks to a PTA run by a collective of wealthy SAHMS and well above average start and finish points in academics. It would be extremely easy for me to point at someone living in a rougher area and paying for private education because the nearest school is raising money to buy metal detectors get on top of vaping in the toilets and kids bringing knives to school and has officially run out of glue sticks from now til Christmas, and say that they should be paying tax on their luxury education, but I'm not a dick, so I won't.

I can sympathise op. You are in a difficult position. We have had 2 children in private school until recently; one has just finished and the other has 2 years left. I would be thinking very carefully about the financial cost of starting out now. It’s only going to become more expensive.

Personally I would look at all other options first. Are there any other state options you could look at, even if that involved moving. Would tutoring make a difference?

The difference between state and private is not necessarily academic ... the wider curriculum and opportunities that they offer are striking: music, sport, drama etc. Your second son would miss out on those.

How tight are we talking OP? Could you take on extra work? Get an evening or weekend job? Personally I would be doing everything possible to send both children.

Your choices are to penny pinch and do without as much as possible to send your second child to the same school, to keep him at the school he’s at and employ tutors, or to move him to a different state school.

Your house comes with your husband’s job- is that right- so no mortgage? Is the business you have in addition to the job? Could you get another job for some evenings, or could your husband?

I think I’d see if there are any other state schools that would be better, but if not, squeeze your finances till the pips squeak.

Don’t confuse bursaries (for those who pass the entrance tests but can’t afford full fees) with scholarships (for those who demonstrate extreme ability academically, sports,
drama etc). Bursaries are much higher. Scholarships are sometimes just a certificate.

Please also debate whether it’s worth it - your privately educated child will have to achieve much better results than a state educated child when applying to university. The theory is that the private teaching is better (but that is often not the case).

We did the same for our two for the same reason. I ended up doing childminding for a few years to find the money for the second as we hadn’t planned for him to go until at least secondary level but felt we needed to be fair. Ironically, he was later also diagnosed as AuDHD like his sister (both had had their diagnoses missed in the state sector). Our youngest left 2 years ago and went on to a small [Ofsted Outstanding] local tech college for A levels as we couldn’t afford the VAT uplift with the elder one at uni - he has actually thrived there, too, as a result of the care and positive experience of his private school from Y5-11.

I’d try to find the money if you can - is it possible to consider withdrawing a little equity from your home to cover a few years VAT (20-30k say) and also to explore an interest only mortgage? We had an IO mortgage during the period of having both at the school together. It does mean that you may need to convert back to a repayment mortgage when they both finish (or when you only have one at school) and that this may need to be repaid over a 5year longer period, but it worked for us so that they/we didn’t feel on a day to day basis we were struggling to pay fees?

If the house is tied to your husband's job, does that mean you don't currently own a property or pay market price rent? If so, surely it's very risky to plough all of your money into private schooling in case his job circumstances change.

We were very lucky (well, we made sure we lived in an area with schools we knew would suit our children) with secondary state schools but I know that isn't the case everywhere.

You are pretty well off to send your child though as the opportunity is out of reach for most people.

No, he passed the 11+ to go to Reigate Grammar School.

So you have low/no housing costs and you earn £100k as a household?

Sounds like you can afford to send them both private if you can send one.

I've known families where one child was sent to state and one private and it is a lifelong bitterness.

Try a different state school?

Private schools add value to education, so therefore should pay ‘value added tax’. It’s a business. The state schools are there for all those not wanting or not able to afford to go private.

Well, I'm sure Keir Starmer isn't, since he went to private school.

And as for “spite and envy” yes I’m sure His Majesty’s Counsel, Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury, former Director of Public Prosecutions, is “envious” of anyone 😂

This! I'm sick of threads like this! Touch grass and see the real world for once and then see how "bad" you've got it!

So you would be happy for being charged extra taxes to not use the NHS? Every year you DON'T go to an NHS doctor, you pay?

Saying “I hate Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves” is pathetic and petulant. There’s always a risk that people won’t be able to keep affording school fees. It’s been talked about on here often enough that if you can just afford it, you can’t afford it, and that was even without the VAT.

Going to a private school is a privilege over 90% of the population can’t afford or will otherwise never have, so the option is to get over it and go state like the rest of us. Not have a childish tantrum about the democratically elected government.

I thought this too. Your income is really significant, especially as it is 50k each so doesn't take you over any thresholds. You may have to really comb through your finances and see if there's anywhere that you can make cuts.