If you dont post your dc on social media

I think this will very much be a thing of the past, there’s really no need for a school to have a social media presence and share images of pupils. When we have decided children shouldn’t have access to social media, they shouldn’t be shared by schools either.
In 5 years time schools will be embarrassed they ever thought this was appropriate.
Less less schools are already doing it, and considering child safety online which they weren’t a few years ago.

If you can't see the difference between a child being seen in public and their photos being posted online then there is no point in discussing it.
Maybe though, do a bit of reading about the boom in deep fake porn images of children, made using images posted online by parents and schools among others, and there may be a possibility you may change your view.

I don’t have social media and therefore don’t post anything about my children online.

However, it wouldn’t bother me if my in-laws posted occasional photos of my children online, such as at Christmas. I know they have Facebook but I have no idea what they post. It also wouldn’t bother me if they forwarded photos of my children on to other people. I don’t even really get what is considered dangerous about that.

I’m also happy for school / nursery to post the occasional photo of my children on their online platforms.

I don’t have any photos of my on social media. DH and I decided not to when they were born, and they’re now teenagers. DH doesn’t do social media, and nor do anyone the grandparents, so it’s never been an issue. I have previously asked people to remove tags when they’ve posted a large amount of photos eg from a wedding or party. DH and I thought that the Dc would be able to decode when they were 13/16/18/whatever whether they wanted a social media presence and that decision would be theirs alone.

Also you can screenshot WhatsApp display pictures.

You are not being unreasonable. We don’t permit photos of ours on any platform and have asked photos not to be forwarded either. As we are currently responsible for their safety we will do what we feel protects them. When they’re able to decide for themselves they can decide themselves.

Regardless of the settings people put (private) once you put something on the internet it is always going to be in the ether.

People should make decisions they feel comfortable based on the research and facts they have.

At this rate people will have balaclavas on their kids faces and nobody will ever see a child's face in public again. It's ridiculous. Every school shares social media photos , maybe one or two in a class are blanked out which shows that the majority of children are shared online with their parents consent.

Thanks. No, I don't have any concerns that family members will send them on.

WhatsApp messages are end to end encrypted, there’s no need to be concerned about sharing images on it. Only the sender and the recipient can ever see it.

Unless your concern is family sending it on, but that’s a separate problem.

It depends on your boundaries and comfortability levels- if you do not feel comfortable with your child being her whatsapp pfp that is completely in your right to tell her to remove. I get the replies saying its different than SM but like I said, it is about YOUR boundaries.

I'm not 'starting'. Just pointing out the obvious - your children have zero choice here and you are making a decision for them which they may not have wanted when they are old enough to have agency in their own lives.

I don’t, nor would I be happy why any grandparents posting to SM. Honestly it’s even more of an issue with GP as in my experience, as a general rule, they have much less awareness of SM and the problematic nature of the internet.

I wouldn’t have a stand out issue with just a WhatsApp profile photos of GP & DC though.

Bit flabbergasted at some of the comments on here. I’m very strict on social media like you. WhatsApp picture would not be okay with me - as an earlier poster said - anyone who has her number has access to that picture. It is not just friends and family. If you won’t protect your kids, who will? It doesn’t matter if they are coming from a good place , or it’s just “grandparents way”. Your DH needs to tell her to remove it.

Is that because you're concerned about Meta having access to photographs of your child or because you're concerned that your family will share them? Or both? These are genuine questions by the way, not trying to catch them out.

I don't share photos/videos on FB or Insta but I do with friends and family on WhatsApp. This thread is making me reflect on how these things may (or may not) be at odd.

ETA: I definitely subscribe to the idea that I don't have my child's permission to post their photos on FB and Insta (I also think we have no idea of the consequences of our children's digital footprint in the future) but I hadn't considered the idea of "permission" in the context of sharing on WhatsApp with specific family members.

Don't start. Just accept that every one has the right to the choice. I live abroad and I like my family and friends to see photos of my dc without having to share with everyone seperately. I dont have any worries about my dc getting abducted because their faces are online. But some people are uncomfortable sharing theirs which I completely respect.

I do put my dc online but it's an individual choice

But it's your choice - not your children's choice. And maybe even more harmful to them than your sil putting jam on her child's dummy.

I do not share them via text either. My reasoning is that my parents sound quite different from yours.

They don’t respect my boundaries and don’t understand the dangers of social media. We have taken a hard line for this reason. If we had a group where we shared with them, they would forward on without thinking. It’s not malicious, just excited grandparents living in ignorance.

I do put my dc online but it's an individual choice and if you feel uncomfortable then she should respect your wishes. I feel like this about other things for eg sil giving dc jam & yogurt on dummy before they were weaned. I think a parents wishes should always be followed.

I only share photos without their face via WhatsApp

Can I ask why you wouldn’t share any pictures of your child on WhatsApp with their face showing? Would you be ok sending the picture via text, is that different/safer, or do you not send any electronically at all? (I’m genuinely asking, not attempting some kind of gotcha).

I have a WhatsApp group with me, and both my parents. I sometimes send pictures of my DDs on there. I’ve never put their pictures on social media, and neither of my parents have any social media at all so no chance they will post them anywhere.

Can I ask why you wouldn’t share any pictures of your child on WhatsApp with their face showing? Would you be ok sending the picture via text, is that different/safer, or do you not send any electronically at all? (I’m genuinely asking, not attempting some kind of gotcha).

I have a WhatsApp group with me, and both my parents. I sometimes send pictures of my DDs on there. I’ve never put their pictures on social media, and neither of my parents have any social media at all so no chance they will post them anywhere.

I totally get this but if your reason for not wanting family members to use baby/child photos as their WhatsApp profile (as opposed to the photos being viable to their contact) is because Meta owns WhatsApp, then presumably you're not sharing any baby/child photos on WhatsApp*. Otherwise it's confusing and a bit hypocritical.

*I see that some people don't do this.

Or even posting pictures of your children on your FB/Insta but not having strict security settings.
I think a lot of people are oblivious to the dangers (but I’m probably a bit too aware as I worked in children’s services).

THANK YOU

Not enough people (grandparents) understand this!

YANBU!!!!

I started a thread on here once and just about got branded a radical extremist for not posting my children online. I include WhatsApp in my definition of social media (because it is and because my mother constantly forwards me other people’s babies!) and only share photos of children without their face showing and fully clothed on whatspp. I do not post them anywhere else and ask the same of my family. My ILs are fine but my parents are very proud grandparents and think all tech is wonderful and don’t see the downsides to anything.

During the heatwave I did take some photos of baby in just a nappy but only for me and DH (father) to see because he was at work and she started cruising.

To add, we do use an app that we believe to be secure for sharing with family. We post in there and they can see and comment but can’t forward or screenshot.