To find colleague’s zen like contentment inspirational?

I agree with this. My DH works at a job that he's been doing for a very long time so he's very good at it and very efficient. He often turns down promotions because we don't need the money, and it would have a signficant negative impact on our quality of life. He's survived several rounds of redundancy because he brings a lot of experience and stability. He has plenty of time for family life and hobbies.

Prioritising your health is not apathetic when stress is an underlying cause of so many health issues.

What price would you want to paid for that? If you knew the stress would cause a future health issue that affected the quality of your life how much money would you want to be paid to compensate for it?

I love this, I think more of us could do to take a leaf out of his book!

I used to teach.

in the last decade or so I increasingly saw situations where nobody would apply for a promoted post (so one step up from teacher - leading on a particular aspect within the department for example, not head of department) because you’d only get an extra couple of thousand a year and the volume of work you’d be expected to do was insane.

people whose ambition was to be headteacher snapped these posts up because they are the first step up, but many people in teaching don’t want to be a headteacher or head of dept and increasingly they were just empty.

which created problems because the work (largely paperwork and admin) needed doing and it devolved to the head of department.

Very sensible guy and he probably won’t get raised blood pressure.

Not everyone has this luxury though - his parents might need very expensive care in later life. Does he have the money for that? His children might want to go to university or do an MBA. Lots of expensive costs crop up in middle age.

But what if that makes them happy and forever striving for something more would make them unhappy? What if doing their job well, but not pushing for more leaves them with the energy, headspace and time to pursue things they really love?

Why is it seen as a moral failing to not constantly want more, when wanting more is often the source of great stress and unhappiness? When did contentment become a dirty word?

I am like him but a project manager. No desire to move up and deal with the bs politics or manage people as direct reports. Yes I could earn more but all it means is more luxury holidays, maybe flying business class more often, maybe be able to save up for a new kitchen 5 months quicker. The trade off for me isn't worth it.

Very happy and content with my life. Ill make moves when it suits me and the lifestyle I want but I am not actively trying or have the need to.

Work smart not harder.

But this man doesn't think a promotion would improve his life, so surely it would be mad to take it?

You are assuming 'improvement' means promotion and more money but this man disagrees. Choosing not to take a promotion is not necessarily apathetic, it can be a reasoned, well thought out decision.

And OP, you are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your colleague has achieved something rare: true self-awareness and professional contentment. By choosing to prioritize his family, his love for the actual practice of law, and his own peace of mind over corporate status, he has successfully opted out of the toxic rat race. He isn't stagnant; he is a masterful, highly respected anchor for the firm who provides crucial stability and mentorship to those climbing the ladder around him.

Recognizing that more money isn't worth less happiness isn't a lack of drive—it is an inspirational masterclass in boundaries and modern career success.

That’s a total misconception of how firms actually make money. You can’t just have salespeople; someone has to be a genius at the law to deliver results. A great firm needs both those who bring in business and those who knuckle down to do the work.

Mastering the craft isn't a lack of drive—it’s what prevents malpractice and keeps clients coming back. Without top-tier talent backing up the sales pitch, the business falls apart.

Gosh some people are quite against people getting a happy contented life doing something they love over a climb the greasy pole one. Hurting yourself in other ways would be seen as self harm not socially responsible !

our country isn’t going to shit because people turn down promotions for a better quality of life. Imagine if we had a country full of happy people. How dreadful would that be

I love this!
I work at a university in Manchester, so a different environment, but the people I most aspire to are the ones who feel they have enough and just do the job they have really, really well without striving for the next rung of the ladder.

I dont see this as apathetic. To me, apathetic would be lounging around at home and not working at all or not doing any chores but if this person is a successful lawyer I am not sure why the fact he doesnt wish to work an 80 hour week is a negative thing?
As he points out- the ability to buy more stuff isnt really the mark of a successful life and I am pretty sure ive never heard a deathbed confession saying "I wish I'd worked more so I could buy more stuff"

My dh is like this, although hes an engineer, not a lawyer. Hes worked for the same company for years, initially had a couple of promotions but after that started doing a few sideways moves in various departments rather than continuing to climb the ladder. He now works in his favourite bit of the job, he manages a lovely team, and he has an excellent life balance of very little work stress, flexible wfh, decent salary, etc.

Every time a director position opens up, hes approached about applying for it but he doesnt want the extra stress, the endless travel, all the internal politics drama, etc.

He plans to retire in about 5 years (when youngest dc finishes a levels) and i adore how involved he's been as a dad during the teenage years because his job allows him to be around for school runs, lifts to sporting events, dinner as a family evey evening, etc.

But are you not making the assumption that success = increased material wealth? Might success mean not bringing stress home, so he has a happier marriage and family life? Or more time at weekends to go hiking or sailing or whatever instead of fielding endless calls from clients? There are many ways to succeed at life, and having lots of money is only one of them. It's not one I aspire towards. Having enough money is hugely important to me. But more than enough seems like a pointless exercise if there are things you prize more, like free time and less stress.

But I did back in my employed days turn down promotion opportunities. I would have been happy staying in the shop floor as a software developer (my favorite employed role), but also had no interest in engaging with all the corporate nonsense that went along with it. My manager used to love our appraisal meetings.... Their best dev, but one who couldn't give a shiny one about progress.

I accepted a manager role and I’ve never been more miserable. Have asked to be demoted but so far no luck. I wish I’d done what your colleague did! I was worried if I hadn’t accepted the promotion I would eventually be managed out.

But you made an intelligent decision to take yourself out of a field whose career model you knew didn’t work for you, and put yourself in one that did — you’re not refusing to go for promotion because there’s no promotion in a solo venture, and you are clear about not wanting to run a company that contains other employees. Good for you, obviously, because it sounds as if you’ve arranged your working life exactly as you want it, but it’s a different situation to the one the OP describes.

Hmm, mixed feelings on this one as I've seen it play out before.

Career progress can mean more money, and he's not fussed about money- that's fine. But within a law firm it also means responsibility and autonomy- it is the partners who are ultimately responsible for the actions of the firm and therefore they are the decision makers- even if they are happy to listen to the views of junior colleagues, the buck stops with them. This can be frustrating for people who have as much ability (if not more) but who for whatever reason haven't progressed.

You see this all the time with women who haven't progressed because they want to maintain some kind of work/life balance due to caring commitments, and end up feeling bitter and exploited as less able colleagues move ahead of them. This is miserable for them and can also be disruptive for the firm. It is a very "up or out" profession. Firms are constantly trying to come up with new career paths for talented lawyers who don't want to become partners- people who are talented and also extremely cheap- yet in practice the new roles that are created for them just end up becoming new stages on the partnership track.

Hope it works out for your colleague and that his is able to carve out a role for himself that recognises his abilities.

I agree, it takes a certain insight to find your happy level and stick to it. If the money's good enough, by all means keep doing what you like! It's rotten to be pushed into a management role when you don't want to manage.

And a four day week is definitely a goal to aspire to

I don’t think so. People with aspirations strive to improve and succeed in life whereas the more apathetic folk are like your colleague, they don’t want the hassle or stress of more responsibility so just float along in life doing the same shit.

This could be me. I've got a degree and PhD in one subject and a masters in a totally different field. But I discovered I had not one jot of interest in climbing the greasy pole of academia or the corporate world. So for 20 years have been self-employed, never expanding to a point of needing to take on staff, responsible for noone and to noone. Do I earn a lot, absolutely not, but I love the tranquility and stress free nature of my lifestyle.

You realise that drive and ambition are not the same thing? You can be very driven to do your work very well, without any management ambition. Likewise, one can be ambitious to gain management role without any drive to actually do a good job...

Agree! And it seems to be working for my DH, architect practices have a lot of redundancies as the work ebbs and flows and he's survived many because he's got a lot of technical knowledge and can be given work to 'fix' when there's been issues, eg taking over from another practice.
He can do the project management side and hustling if he wants to, he just doesn't enjoy it.

I think it's a success to do a permanent 4 day week in your forties really!

Sorry but sounds complacent and stagnant. Sounds like the wrong job for him if he’s got no drive - nothing to aspire to. Being an “excellent “ lawyer in private practice is not just about knowing the law- that’s not what drives the business. He won’t be around long with attitude like that.