AIBU to be angry my husband opposes my major promotion?

The problem is that the OP’s dh seems to have no interest in discussing things does he?
He basically stated he doesn’t want her to do,that. No curiosity about why she applied for the job, why she wants to take it, how tgey could make it work. Nothing.
Just me, me, me up to tge point tge OP is now Wonderimg if she is unreasonable to get a job she enjoys and want.

Divorce his arse and get a nanny.

Take the job!
Family will be fine. I am talking from experience.

Exactly! Everyone on here seems to be at war with their partner.

But he wasn’t the one doing the cooking and most of the parenting whilst ALSO bring the higher earner

I mean, taking into account the fact you don’t want to do parenting alone (for 2!! Days a week, not 5) is pretty normal.
But saying that you dint want to do parenting alone for 2 days a week when you are NOT the main parent is …. shit sorry.

Yes we all get he doesn’t want to take on a fair share if responsibility. No one likes to do more work than they already do.
Bit it’s very dufferent from your situation.

Wow, anyone being negative to you in this scenario has serious issues. Your DH is living the life of riley with you doing the lions share with the kids and earning to fund a significantly nice life style while he does a job he enjoys at the expense of your convenience and hard work. How dare he let you carry all the mornings?! About bloody time he stepped up, and to not even congratulate you?! Sorry OP, he sounds like an arsehole.

My husband did that for me. He does most of the morning stuff with the kids.

Congratulations and do go for it OP!

well yes mine did too and that's why I can't vote.
It does seem to me that there is a mega communications problem here.
First well done to the OP and what a great thing for you and your family.
Because its not how my marriage worked (widowed now) I am surprised that you didn't mention that you were trying for the promotion because my husband and I were each other's greatest cheerleaders. I am not criticising but is this kind of interraction more that a one off?
I don't know if you should take the job or not. What i do know is that yes the big old conversation needs to be had and not just about this job.

Well done on the new job. Massive achievement in all respects.

I say if you want the job, go for it. You only live once and your husband is being extremely selfish in not supporting you. I agree that if the roles were reversed you would be expected to support him and there would be little conversation around it at all.

You just need to make sure you are happy with the job and the absence/stress, however your kids will be fully at school and becoming more independent all the time, so it's a good time for it to happen.

If you want it take it.

So basically his nose has been put out of joint because he’d actually have to do some parenting labour, something he currently isn’t doing? Does he do any housework? Does he do any cooking? Does he have a lot of time for himself?

I'd go for it.

My husband could have written the posts about me (he wouldn't, though).

We have a gardener and cleaner. I have a lower paid job than him. I swan out in the morning while he does most of the work - it balances out at other times.

He's turned down promotions because I don't want to be parenting solo.

congratulations OP - I think I would say that I’m taking it anyway but have a decent chat about what it is that he’s concerned about - be it pick ups , travel, holiday times and then discuss ways of mitigating this - be it a nanny share who does pick ups and drop offs - an after school helper/housekeeper who does pick ups and maybe prepares dinner - there are many variables on this - I know as many yearsago worked for a wealthy family where they did this - tell him you are doing it anyway, so need to discuss the practicalities - one thing to bear in mind is if you do need to pay for help you may not be that much better off , so it’s def worth thinking about is it about the kudos, the skills stretching etc and not just the money , so you have the answers ready in your head. As others have said - most blokes would just say they were taking it and leave it up to the little woman to sort the practicalities with no regards to the wife’s job at all

Many congratulations OP, what a fantastic career opportunity for you. You’ve supported him, enabling him to do a job he loves and yet he is being a dick to you regarding your career enhancement. Don’t let his selfishness cloud your decision.

Yup. A man who earns almost all the money and does all the childcare, getting up early to get children ready while wife drinks coffee in bed and then simplywaltzes out to her low paid no career job? A man who would give up on his dream job so wife wouldn't need to do bedtimes twice per week? Would never ever happen.

OP your DH sounds extremely lazy and entitled, he thinks his life and wishes should be prioritised, even though you clearly do 90% for the family. If you give up on this opportunity because he can't be arsed to do bare minimum of parenting, you will always resent him, no question.

Not liking bring ambushed with a fait accompli doesn't mean that hw doesn't respect her job.

Congratulations, what a brilliant achievement, what school are the kids in? Could you do occasional boarding, the two nights you're away then divorce the drain on your energy husband?

Congratulations OP.
Well done.

You are the family workhorse while he indulges himself.

Rethink the relationship with a very selfish man.

Time to sit down and look at single parenthood with a nanny.

Get legal advice.
Time to get out of this marriage.

He wants everything on his terms, that's not a marriage, thats having a cocklodger in the house.

Start paying your salary into your account.

You married a loser who is literally living off you.
Do not allow that to continue.

He's a waster. What is the appeal of having him live off you while you do and pay for everything?

Your youngest will be in school soon.
Can family help?

This needs to be your big wake up call that he is using you.

From a professional and family point of view - you should still take the job.

I'm C level, and I got here whilst being an actual (or practical) single parent, because I worked my arse off around the kids. Being very senior means you get to set the tone, and my tone is that I am available, unless I'm not, and that school runs etc. are non-negotiable (because they are - I don't have anyone else to take the kids to school). I don't travel, apart from occasional long trips when my parents can come and stay and look after my kids (they are older than yours), but you have a husband who can make it work (or a nanny - when my kids were younger, I generally had that - although the kids obviously prefer it being me - and TBH, I don't mind it as I WFH and it gets me out of the house)

I can do that because I'm senior, whereas I wouldn't have that power if I was lower down the company (Although actually, I also make sure that my employees have that flexibility - as long as we're all reasonable)

Take the job. Your career. Your decision.

I was a "high flyer" throughout the child-rearing years. Nobody suffered (except me a bit with the usual mum guilt and being a bit run ragged at times). It was just normal for the kids. I had a nanny and later a part-time housekeeper so that everything was covered.

I had a very fulfilling and successful career and that is also a great example to set your kids.

Hi @Bigjob1234

Congratulations on your potential new job!

I'm talking from the POV of a loan parent who earned slightly less than 200k but had a big job and travelled until my DD was 15. I then scaled down a bit as i felt she needed more support at that age.

My first point would be are your kids generally happy at school and have friends and look forward to going? IF so this would encourage me to take it.

Second, are you excited by this opportunity? Do you want the pressure and the buzz that goes with this? Evening phone calls etc?

If the answer is yes, I would take the job. I would get after school care/ nanny/ the cleaner and gardener time (i had a mother's help at one point 4 times a week when my job was really intense so that every second I was at home and my daughter was awake I was with her.

In terms of your husband, my initial thought on reading your post is, it sounds like he can get away to family and friends as appearing as a big earner too. He may not want this to change if it becomes really obvious that it's you. It doesn't sound like he's genuinely against your new job because it will affect the work life balance of the family - as he doesn't seem to be participating in the family life part.

Anyway good luck again with your decision and many many congrats x

So the crux of the matter is, whilst you have facilitated a job he loves, he is now blocking you from progressing in yours because he doesn't want to step up and do a third of the hands on parenting once a week.

He’s being a dick. I have a low paying job I enjoy but it’s also incredibly flexible and I do all child related things.

Your DH can’t have it both ways!

The fact you say you didn’t realise what was involved does indicate the impact of taking the job was never really discussed
and he’s now left to pick up the slack without any great consultation

this is about being left to solo parent not who has the biggest wage packet

tbh I’d be slightly pissed off if I were him