AIBU to be angry my husband opposes my major promotion?

DH didn’t push his career too far when DC were young so he could have more time with them. Once they got older he went for promotions. He also promotes work/life balance now he is CEO. Where people have put off promotions as they are part-time he actively encourages (part-time senior roles were not a thing when he was going up the ranks).

i would have said the same thing.

I hope you're going for it.

He can adapt or do the other thing...

How would you feel about him if you turned it down?

Your DH has a great life, doesn't he? No parental responsibilities, no chores, cushy job but has a fantastic lifestyle due to your hard work and abilities. Let's face it, when a woman has the lower paid job she does all the drudgery to compensate because that's the deal, in most cases. This lazy sod doesn't even bother getting up to help out in the mornings.
Take the job OP, you deserve it. Your DH can step up or step out.

Financially? Yes. Although less today than tomorrow.
Emotionally? No. It must be awful to be disrespectful like this.

Go for it. Congratulations!

Take it. Put loads more into your pension. It doesn’t sound to me as though your husband is a keeper, so fuck him.
Congratulations.

Do it. Your children will be so proud of you when they are old enough to understand.

Many congratulations. Please please take the job. Your DH is being selfish.

My feeling is that you will regret not taking it. It's shone a spotlight on cracks in your marriage - that's not necessarily a bad thing. You have the opportunity to sit your DH down and see if he is able to recognise how selfish he's being and work through the issues. That process could result in you having a better relationship but if it doesn't, then it won't be your fault. It won't be because you took the job.

OMG I cannot believe that you're getting a hard time.

This man has been incredibly lucky - he gets to exploit you for more than your share of domestic shitwork like most men, AND do a low-paid job that he loves.

I think this is a conversation that you should have had years ago OP - and it certainly needs to happen now.

Congratulations and if he makes it a chosie choose the job. He can move out and manage alone and you can hire a nanny for wraparound care

I have the feeling that the thread would have gone very differently if the roles were reversed.

This stranger is really happy for you OP even if your husband isn't. You deserve someone to tell you that - well done and congratulations.

DH wouldn’t have wanted a job that took him away from DC even if only a couple a days a week. So it isn’t the case that men would choose a job like this without thinking about impact on the time spent with family

You mention stress will increase. Would the increase in money and impact on family be worth the stress. Would you actually be happier?

Like any job, I think you need to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of what will be different, don't accept a blanket 'no' from your husband unless he is prepared to talk about it properly. In the same way you shouldn't accept it until you have discussed it thoroughly and what it means for you as a family.

You being away two days a week should absolutely not be a reason not to take it, and working from home 2 days a week is a massive plus. So if his only reason for saying no is that it means he has to take over parenting duties 2 mornings a week and two evenings a week, then he is being ridiculously selfish.

Whatever happens (I think you should go for it!), going forward you should be expecting more from your husband on the parenting front, he has it very cushty right now and is only pushing against this as he doesn't want his easy lifestyle to change.

Congrats, that's just awesome. Hubby needs to be on board and support you.

Assuming you applied for the job because you want it, you obviously need to accept it. You deserve to do a job you love too. You husband needs to step up at home, but you could also use some of the extra income to make family life easier. If you don’t have them already, get a cleaner, nanny etc.

I think the big thing is here he only gets to do the job he wants to do because you pick up the bills

Absolutely this

@Bigjob1234 Congratulations! Take the job.

Ignore posters telling you, in effect, to make yourself smaller by not mentioning your salary (WTF not?! This is one of the reasons there's still such a massive pay gap), not referring to yourself as the breadwinner (you are; it's an indisputable fact), making your life fit around your husband's desires so he can keep playing at what he loves rather than sacrificing for his family.

It sounds like you've managed to build a good balance and you'll still have a pretty good balance after taking this job.

She never said she does all the childcare.

She does the mornings, and she's around in the evenings.

I grant that it is likely that she does do the lion's share, but she never said that, and everyone has just assumed.

He told you no?! And you said what in response.

He doesn't get to tell you no, and you don't need his permission.

Of course you should go for it.

Are people urging the OP to ditch her DH getting that she is the pot of gold in this marriage? A split would cost her, not him.

It is actually insane that the likely solution to a father (who doesn’t massively contribute financially) who is being asked to contribute 25% of the parenting is ‘get a nanny.’
May this love never find me.

I'm starting to think that DH sounds a bit like a cocklodger. He gets to do a low paid job that he loves, but he does hardly any of the childcare and life admin. Doesn't sound very fair to me.

Firstly, congratulations!!!! 👏
Secondly, go for it!
Thirdly, get a nanny. That could be the replacement for your current childcare and will negate your DH having to do extra. It's not at all unreasonable for him to do the extra bits you've outlined but he has said (in as many words) he absolutely does not want to do it and will no doubt kick off and make your life miserable if you try to make him.

If you make his life less pleasant in any way he will reciprocate by making yours doubly so, even if he hasn't sat down and thought about it/planned it in that way; he just will.