Intrusive thoughts DD

You need a psychiatrist initially for diagnosis and treatment plan (which usually includes a psychologist). If you go through one of these clinics then they do the assessment initially and can advise on the best professionals, you don't need to work that out yourself.

Neurodiversity runs in families.

im wondering if DH and DD are both ND.

I agree that if finances allow an assessment from a clinical psychologist is required.

Also push Gp for camhs. Self harming should push her referral up a bit.

Oh, and i have never paid more than £10 for a private prescription for a child in Boots, so please don't let that put you off. Medication has saved my dc.

I recommend contacting https://www.steppingstonesclinic.uk/. They are very helpful and have great psychiatrists. It isn't cheap, but if you can find the money then it is life changing to get the right help. I have been where you are, and it is so, so tough. Look after yourself, too.

Only a psychiatrist can diagnose and medicate for under 18s. I used Clinical Partners online who diagnosed Phobic Anxiety Disorder initially, then changed to OCD which DD agreed with. She didn't get on with medication (titrated up to 75mg but she hated the side effects so refused to take more - OCD generally needs higher doses so we didn't get to the stage of it helping - each prescription was £80).

You'll also need CBT, its the recommended therapy for OCD. Not a quick fix though. DD was making (IMO, not hers) progress after 8 sessions but then she started college so stopped going. She says the thoughts never went away. I just know she was much calmer, ate better, started leaving the house again about a month into treatment. Unfortunately the psychologist we used only treats over 16s.

We're a year on, she aged out of CAMHS before getting any therapy via them, adult services initially didn't accept but now have so we're back to square one. Also Sussex.

Early Help is not much use with mental health stuff IME, but could refer you for a carers assessment.

You can self refer to CAMHS via Spoa if you're West Sussex https://e-wellbeing.co.uk/support/
Be clear on how bad it is and the impact on your other child. Ask school to also complete a referral. And the GP. And keep doing it if the situation worsens and you haven't been accepted. Just getting on the damn list for assessment takes perseverance. Once you're on the list, ring CAMHS duty every time there is an incident so it's recorded - i didn't do this because all they did was add to DDs notes, but it builds a picture of escalating need.

Best wishes to you, its a horrible situation to be in and exhausting. Do you have any family nearby that can help?

I know people are recommending child psychiatrists but I think you need family therapy. You say she has has a joyous life but she has a completely unavailable and arsehole of a father. With a mother who is trying to compensate. I’d look there first.

I DMed you info @LavateraRose
Seems you have more good suggestions here

good luck xxx

I am also in Sussex. My daughter has been treated by this doctor for intrusive thoughts. It’s expensive but NHS services for young people with mental health issues seem to be non-existent. Good luck
https://www.finder.bupa.co.uk/Consultant/view/264006/dr_priya_nathwani

Private psychiatrist will sort this .. could be OCD (sometimes sudden infection causes it ) , could be depression

all sorted with meds

i ll look in Sussex for you @LavateraRose but you might be able to find online too

in the meantime I ll DM you our own x

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been through/going through similar with my DD and it started at similar age. I spent most of early last year in tears to the GP about DD - she just completely fell apart in her first year of high school. OCD, intrusive thoughts, suicide ideation, meltdowns, she hated me. Anyway I found a psychologist and went to gp again for a private referral which I got but GP insisted she refer me to cahms too which I thought was pointless as I knew of the waiting lists.

However within a few weeks we had a crisis meeting, then they took her on for weekly sessions. Within a few months we had a diagnosis of autism and inattentive ADHD, which tbh until a year ago wasn't even on my radar. I'm still not entirely sure where my daughter has gone 😢

I realise this is unusual and I've no idea how we slipped through as altho my daughter was probably a real danger to herself I hear of kids all the time who are in a similar situation.

We are now waiting psychiatric input for meds. I'm not saying things are great now, far far from it but they are a little calmer and expectations have changed. Anyway my point is get the referral into cahms as back up but pursue private help too if an option.

Can you ask for right to choose via the nhs?

If you possibly can find the £400 do that OP.

My heart aches for your child and also for you. It is NOTHING to do with your parenting or you as a person.

They need professional help asap. It sounds to me like the beginnings of bipolar but at least OCD and I suspect an SSRI will help in the immediate term. But maybe other meds - this is not your fault at all, some people are just wired like this and once they have the right help are able to be themselves and cope with and enjoy life. Speaking from experience here. There’s not much worse than untreated anxiety - the fear is unbearable.

You need £400 to see a child psychiatrist sooner than 2029.

OCD is manageable with meds and CBT, both of which NHS supply promptly after a psych recommendation.

I am so sorry you are going through this and your poor daughter sounds so distressed . I am also shocked to hear that CAHM has such a very long waiting list . Totally useless to you . You need help right away . What is so sickening is that we are all now encouraged to " look after your mental health" and told to reach out for help but if this is what is happening I can only guess that people will suffer enormously. This is something people really should be marching in the streets about . I feel so sorry that I never realised what some parents are going through . 3 years - it's appalling. 💐

My brother’s son had intrusive thoughts. The GP suspected OCD and recommended CBT. He also prescribed Sertraline. They booked him for a course of CBT. The Sertraline and the CBT worked absolute wonders. He still has OCD but knows how to live with it.

Sorry just come back on to add about a private diagnosis - there are few specialist OCD psychiatrists that can diagnose online and whose recommendations will be accepted by NHS for referral to specialist services; there's a waiting list even for a private diagnosis but honestly you are talking less than £500 (not assuming everyone has that but just so as the OP has an idea) and that will get you the referral you need; you don't have to continue treatment with them they will advise how to approach the GP. The OCD charities can advise where to find a good psychiatrist but this guy is the OG; professor Emetrius at the Maudsley in London and NHS adviser:

www.veale.co.uk

This might be totally the wrong thing for a child but if that was me as an adult I would want anti anxiety meds for the worst flair ups. I had them when I had a diagnosis of a serious illness and they took the edge off when I was spiraling. It sounds so awful for her ( and for you) poor little lamb. I hope it gets better soon

Sounds like OCD. My DD is now 23, she's been diagnosed since she was 16, was housebound for 6 years but looking back she was having symptoms at the same age as OP's DD - it sounds like a very clear case to me, but whatever it is, OP you will have to make it your mission to get her treated. CAMHS do not like expensive things, my DD was sent away as "cured" 2/3 times by CAMHS, and the psychiatrists there are often unable to even begin treatment for complex conditions. I definitely second/third all the recommendations for OCD Uk also OCD Action, these organisations saved both our lives literally, and eventually I got DD specialist treatment under the NHS at one of the national OCD centres.

If you dont want to think about OCD at the moment, again someone up thread mentioned Young Minds - use their parents helpline. This will be a long job OP, get onto it now. Oh and of course, your "D"H might not be involved in the cure but he's definitely been involved in the cause; a parent like that can trigger OCD no wonder your kids are struggling.