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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

155 replies

RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 18:51

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

OP posts:
LightlyRoamingOcelots · 01/07/2026 19:00

Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

You certainly shouldn't rent to her just forgetting this issue because if you do the fact that you think so ill of her will impact the landlord-tenant relationship and cause problems.

It would take huge courage to do this but could you actually talk to her about how much damage she did to your friend? Could you consider that if she has genuine remorse and asks and recieves forgiveness from your friend then you might also be able to forgive?

Sometimes we aren't strong enough not to hold a grudge, but holding a grudge damages you more than it damages the person you are resenting so it's worth trying to find reconciliation if you have the strength.

eyeoresancerre · 01/07/2026 18:59

She sounds like drama. You don’t need the hassle.

AnneElliott · 01/07/2026 18:59

I don’t think it’s petty. Actions have consequences - behaving badly to people can come back on you later. I wouldn’t rent to someone who’d behaved as a bully.

Lemonymint · 01/07/2026 18:57

She had been a very unpleasant person for many years. You can't even say it was limited to being a stupid teenager. Apart from anything else I could see her being a difficult tenant. Actions have consequences and, personally, as a bullied child, bullies turn my stomach.

Jeschara · 01/07/2026 18:56

If she has been that much of a bully she could be trouble. Do you want that. If you know what's she is like give yourself a break and do not rent to her.