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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

155 replies

RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 18:51

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 01/07/2026 19:53

Hotlipshoolahan · 01/07/2026 19:37

I feel sorry for her kids. It’s not fair they suffer because of their mum’s past.

That's her problem though... the OP likely has kids whose standard of living relies on the rental income and a bad tenant can scupper that! The OP needs to look.out for herself.

Original poster
RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 19:52

I’m so thankful for these replies. I really did think that most people would say that she’s desperate, she has kids, it’s in the past etc so we should rent the house to her. Seeing that people think I’m right and this is natural consequences is what I needed! I will hold onto my grudge, won’t be renting to her and won’t give her another thought. Karma and all that good stuff.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 01/07/2026 19:49

cookbookjunkie · 01/07/2026 19:34

You could just send her a message and 'say

'Thanks for your interest in the house. I don't know whether you realised but remember you very well from school. You are not really the sort of person I am looking for so I'll be giving the house to someone else. Good luck finding somewhere.'

Short, sweet, loaded with meaning.

I love this. Probably not very sensible, although extremely satisfying. I’m hoping she no longer has any contact with her victims in case she starts harassing them.

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 01/07/2026 19:48

Time for the find out phase of FAFO…

fireflymoon · 01/07/2026 19:48

You only have her word for it that she just missed out on four houses and is desperate. It could be emotional manipulation. She could be laying it on thick to make you feel sorry for her. As for her being polite and friendly, bullies can put on a mask to get what they want, and then, when they have you where they want you, the mask slips.

Ohmygawdflippingheck · 01/07/2026 19:47

I went to school with some utter cunts, there's no way I'd rent a property to them.
Bullying ruins lives well into adult hood so why shouldn't she pay for it now too. Yes, I am bitter 😝

Cannedlaughter · 01/07/2026 19:46

I also think you’d feel some guilt towards your friend if you rented to her. I think you’d feel odd meeting her knowing someone very damaging from her past was living in one of your houses.

Worldinyourhands · 01/07/2026 19:46

Just to add - someone applied for a job once and I interviewed them. She didn't know I already knew of her from her appalling treatment of my friend at her old company. I obviously didn't hire her (despite her qualifications and sweet demeanour in the interview) and considered it her karma.

Lemonpandas · 01/07/2026 19:44

Karma ..we all get back .. eventually..what we send out in to the world

PetrolFrogs · 01/07/2026 19:44

I wouldn’t. Especially if it continued into adulthood as it just shows long term poor character, so she’ll likely end up causing problems in other ways too.

Original poster
RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 19:43

Hotlipshoolahan · 01/07/2026 19:37

I feel sorry for her kids. It’s not fair they suffer because of their mum’s past.

I feel sorry for her kids too but I hate bullies more.

OP posts:
Worldinyourhands · 01/07/2026 19:43

No way would I rent to her. She's shown what she's like as a person and it's unlikely she's completely different. You'd kick yourself so much when she became a problem tenant or neighbour.

HardyFox · 01/07/2026 19:42

No, definitely don't rent to her however desperate she is, she can't be as desperate as the people she bullied were.
This can be her karma.

Hotlipshoolahan · 01/07/2026 19:42

Tigerbalmshark · 01/07/2026 19:21

I wouldn’t want a tenant who I already knew was a malevolent bitch, no. Regardless of who she’d bullied, I don’t want to deal with any of that in my property.

And if four other landlords have already turned her down, she obviously isn’t a great catch as a tenant on paper either. Either bad references or poor credit history/affordability. I’d run for the hills the moment somebody told me four other landlords had said no, to be honest! Just as I would if I was buying a house and heard 4 previous buyers had pulled out.

Are you from the past? Private rents are now so expensive because there is massive undersupply compared to demand. Not being successful on four properties doesn’t mean anything when so many people are bidding on properties. She very well may not have even got to the stage of her credit or references being checked.

You wouldn’t think there ‘must be something wrong with someone’ if they were not successful in their bids to buy four houses, and it’s the same with renting now.

StormGazing · 01/07/2026 19:41

She’ll be a trouble maker I suspect .. fuck her and her needs, support your school friend

tsmainsqueeze · 01/07/2026 19:41

If this were me there is no way i could say to my friend that i had rented my house to the bully that had made her life hell.
She is reaping what she sowed.
PP suggestions that she could potentially be trouble have a point too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/07/2026 19:40

I wouldn’t rent to her. I feel sorry for her dcs. Section 21 is no longer a thing. Don’t drag her back into your life.

Keepingittogetherstepbystep · 01/07/2026 19:40

On balance of probability she won't have changed.

I came face to face with my childhood bully a few weeks ago, it was horrible as I said no to a request and got annihilated. They don't change and I have had weeks of flashbacks of every vile event they ever put me through.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 01/07/2026 19:39

She's gonna reap just what she sowed.

if she was awful 10 years ago she's quite likely to still be awful.

Hotlipshoolahan · 01/07/2026 19:37

I feel sorry for her kids. It’s not fair they suffer because of their mum’s past.

Crochetandtea · 01/07/2026 19:36

Don’t rent to her and don’t give it another thought.

CockyJogger · 01/07/2026 19:36

Be grateful you have the inside track and delete that

Rhaidimiddim · 01/07/2026 19:36

RiverWashed · 01/07/2026 18:51

We are landlords and one of our properties became available for rent recently. When we went to show the house, the applicant was someone I’d been at school with who bullied one of my friends, and a few other girls. I don’t think she recognised me, if she did she didn’t say. She told me that she had applied for 4 houses but missed out and was really desperate for this one to keep her kids at the same school, be close to work etc.

Would you hold grudge and not rent to her? I think I’m going to. I can find another tenant and she was such a nasty bitch. It didn’t stop at school either, it continued at college and she worked with another school friend at a pub til she was mid 20s and was still horrible then. I’ve been thinking back about the bullying she did and thinking I don’t want to rent to her. By mid 20s she should have known better and the bullying was really bad. My friend at school suffered serious mental health issues due to the bullying and it impacted her exams and whole life even now really, although I don’t see her often now as we don’t live close to each other but we keep in touch,

I know it’s petty and we are in our 30s now but AIBU not to rent to her?

As a landlady I would not rent to someone I knew to have a persistent character fault of this nature. Why invite trouble into your life?

Edited to correct typos and to add: I'd expect her to resort to bad behaviour if you don't e.g. decorate/ maintain the property to her standard and on her timetable - she didn't outgrow throwing her weight around once she left school.

cookbookjunkie · 01/07/2026 19:34

You could just send her a message and 'say

'Thanks for your interest in the house. I don't know whether you realised but remember you very well from school. You are not really the sort of person I am looking for so I'll be giving the house to someone else. Good luck finding somewhere.'

Short, sweet, loaded with meaning.

summitfever · 01/07/2026 19:32

Fuck her, bullies are scum bags. She can hang as she dries, maybe she’ll think twice about being an evil cow if there’s consequences