AIBU to refuse a tenant because she bullied my friends?

I was bullied in USA high school age 13 to 16 by girls in the class above me but back then they just called it “mean girls”

don’t rent to her…bullying is a character trait. Empathy can be exhibited by mere children…3 y.o. Toddlers can show empathy. Bullies have no empathy.

in suspect she recognized you or your name or both and chose not to disclose her identity to you as someone from the past…shady and manipulative.

i have a really good life but i missed out a lot in high school because I was afraid of these girls so I didn’t participate in much out of class time and even that was fraught with peril. And I would feel the same if someone had bullied my friends.

You have had an early warning and wisely you heard it and are heeding it by not renting to her. She mentioned the children…to tug on your heartstrings .

Karma baby

I would need her to know exactly why I wasn’t going to consider her

I hope the mother of the seven year old girl who told boys to bully and hit another boy reads this.

I'd be so tempted to raise it with her. Not mention your friend, obviously, but the fact that you know who she is and the terrible effect her bullying had.

You friend would probably be gutted to learn you were renting your her. That would be reason enough to turn her down for me.

I don't believe they change. SIL bullied me and set MIL into vicious motion as well. SIL is sweet and kind to me now, and gushes about how much her parents' ill health has cost me. It's never crossed her mind she did something wrong, she doesn't even remember I refused to go to her 21st after she ruined my wedding with her nastiness. I've tolerated her quietly & avoided her, so no conflict. My MH isn't worth it.

I have been proven right recently. She hasn't changed. FIL has gone into care, and DH was told by the care home manager she's been harassing them with constant calls & demands to change GIL's care plan & the manager told DH he now refuses to take her calls. DH wasn't surprised.

Don't rent to her. She'll be nice until she wants something.

Its normal for landlords to use red and green flags to screen potential tenants; anyone who has continued to be the school bully past the age of 14 has screened themselves out.

Actions have consequences, it would be a no from me.

An elderly family friend asked me to help her select a cleaner and I was surprised to see my childhood bully had applied. Naturally I sat with Aunty Dot and we interviewed my bully together. No she didn’t get the job. I thought it would be fun but to be honest it just brought back bad memories. Surprisingly for me the bully didn’t seem to show much shame for or recollection of her actions. I found out afterwards that is often common with bullies. So she may not remember her painful actions.

You have a big advantage here. She has written her own character reference. You know what it says. If you didn’t know her would you want someone like her as a tenant?

Fuck her off

No. Yanbu and please don't rent to this nasty bully. Find another tenant. Not worth the drama.

@RiverWashed are you aware there are new regulations you need to follow as a landlord ? You cannot just reject her she can complaint (especially if shes under benefits etc) and you might end up with a penalty

have you done the Training? Worth checking ..

How’s OP going to establish that from showing them around her property

I mean adults bullying pupils.
Not staff to staff. Although I'm sure that happens too.
But my memories are from childhood.

My view on bullies is: are they still like that/ have they changed?

I've met people years after school, some who are the most lovely people now but we're awful as teenagers. And some who are very much the same person.

That's my bellwether. Have they grown up and become decent people. Or are they still a nasty bully.

I got bullied at school & if I was a landlord I wouldn't rent to them. She could also end up being trouble as somebody else said. They will turn on the waterworks and everything, every sob story going to get a set of keys in their hands. I've seen a friend do this when it comes to needing money, every sob sttory going and doesn't pay it back.
Anyway I'm digressing.
Bullies rarely change so kalma is a bitch they say. Find another tenant.

@LightlyRoamingOcelots: Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

Yes, I am sure you would. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be. Actions have consequences.

I agree with the consensus.
Plenty of safer nicer tenants available.
Just to add ime some of the worst school bullies were staff...

I don't know...bullying leaves permanent scars & changes people for ever.

It isn't tackled properly in children, which means bullying becomes accepted and people don't know how to deal with it as adults, and then it's encountered in the workplace. Bullying ruins lives.

I don't think it would be sensible to take on a tenant who you know first hand was unpleasant and unreasonable as late as her twenties. She might be very difficult to deal with if there are any problems or disagreements. It's not revenge. And there will be many other people looking to rent your property who also have needs.

I would but I'm petty

Well I'd hate to be judged in my 30s for the mistakes I made before I was 25.

Bullying repeatedly isn’t a “mistake”, it’s a deliberate choice to make someone else’s life miserable.

Sorry. The post duplicated.

Nope. Someone nice will rent from you. Bullies don’t change their spots. She can jog on.
I refused to sell a horse to someone who bullied me at school. She had no clue who I was. I will never forget her.