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AIBU?

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Original poster

Invited the wrong child by mistake

293 replies

Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 15:46

What to do-if anything?

Dd is having a party at a play place, ten children including herself, allowed. It was hard for her to narrow down her invites as she likes so many in the class and also has family friends to include.
I asked the class representative to please send me a list of the children & parents names & numbers. I made a group invite and sent via WhatsApp. One mum has replied to say her child can come-a boy Dd likes, but isn’t particularly close to, all the other children are girls, aside from one family friend, another boy. It was obviously a mixed up number, I thought I was sending the invite to one of her best friends.

Dd is disappointed and I think the mum was a little surprised too 🫣

Would you do anything?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 20:01

LondonPapa · 01/07/2026 19:53

If this is true, why didn’t DD sort this and invite everyone herself?

Show quote history

🤣😬

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 01/07/2026 19:59

No I don't think you can now. However did you not already have the parents number if it's one of DD's best friends? We have a class WhatsApp with all the parents on so you can mostly tell which parent is for which child.

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 01/07/2026 19:57

Won’t she notice herself that her son is the only boy? Because in the WhatsApp you’ll have loads of replies like ‘Kate/chloe/hannah would love to come’ and she’ll see none of them are boys

zebrapig · 01/07/2026 19:56

Just message her and own the mistake, she’ll probably be understanding and it’s less awkward than him being the only boy on the day. I had to do this for DD’s party this year (she’s 11) as they mixed the classes at the start of the year and I got one person’s number mixed up and invited the wrong person. They were really understanding and said they were a bit surprised their DD had been invited as they’re not really friends. It did make me wonder why they hadn’t said anything but their DD didn’t come, and I was able to invite the correct child.

operationplaytime · 01/07/2026 19:55

Is that a typo - 17?! 🤣

LondonPapa · 01/07/2026 19:53

Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 19:41

Turning 17

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If this is true, why didn’t DD sort this and invite everyone herself?

Spaghettihoopsontoastplease · 01/07/2026 19:53

Be upfront with the boy mum but tell her you’re still absolutely willing for him to come. She’ll probably give you an out.

operationplaytime · 01/07/2026 19:52

I would say I’m terribly sorry and embarrassed but I sent a message to the wrong number. It was only supposed to be a small number of girls (only) from the class - that way she will understand that you’re not excluding her son given that no other boys are coming.

This genuinely wouldn’t bother me under those circumstances - people are allowed to make mistakes without the other party having a massive meltdown over it!

Thatsquark · 01/07/2026 19:50

If it had been my son, and this was a soft play party, he’s had rocked up, had two hours running around the soft play taking
not a blind bit of notice to who’s party it was and the other guests. Then scoffed the party food, impatiently waited whilst candles were blown out, dashed back to the soft play. And then I’d have picked him up, asked if he had fun “loads”, asked if the birthday girl enjoyed and he’d have likely said “no idea”

igelkott2026 · 01/07/2026 19:49

I always used to invite an extra person because someone always cancelled.

I only came unstuck once with an extra one but fortunately I had an extra party bag.

fashionqueen0123 · 01/07/2026 19:49

Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 19:40

The class rep gave me them

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Have you told her it was wrong?

Thatsquark · 01/07/2026 19:47

Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 19:41

Turning 17

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You joke but….

DoYouWantACuppa · 01/07/2026 19:47

This happened to me. DS invited to party via a group WhatsApp, and I asked DS if he wanted to go, which he did, to then only be told it was a girls-only party. A genuine mistake, mum was really apologetic. Abit annoying, but I understood, and my DS had forgotten all about it by time party came round. I would be honest with her.

Thatsquark · 01/07/2026 19:47

And how much is the cost per child at this soft play to make it prohibitively expensive to add another one or two?

lmnabc · 01/07/2026 19:44

How much extra will it cost? It would be so rude to turn him away

Original poster
Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 19:41

Thatsquark · 01/07/2026 19:40

Waiting for the drip that they’re 15 years old

Turning 17

OP posts:
MyArtfulGreySloth · 01/07/2026 19:41

stichguru · 01/07/2026 19:08

I might say something like
"Hi I've realised that Jack is the only boy invited to Holly's party. Is he going to be happy that all the others are girls or do you think he would rather not come?"

If she says "oh yes he's fine with that", then you find the money to pay for your mistake!

Please don’t say this.

Thatsquark · 01/07/2026 19:40

Waiting for the drip that they’re 15 years old

Original poster
Oopsididitnotagain · 01/07/2026 19:40

Lancashirelass26 · 01/07/2026 19:12

School gave you a list of kids’ and parents’ names and phone numbers?! That is a bigger worry.

The class rep gave me them

OP posts:
turquoiseshell · 01/07/2026 19:38

You're wildly overthinking this. They'll be playing games and will have fun, regardless of what sex they all are. And next time I'd hand out nice party invitations. It's not as if the other children in the class won't find out that they haven't been invited to the party just because it's done by Whatsapp.

saraclara · 01/07/2026 19:13

What about the poor girl who thinks that she's your DD's best friend, and sees all the other kids being invited to DD's party and not her?

Come on now, even if this party is outside your budget, surely you could speak to a grandparent or relative to help you out with a loan so that she can go, @Oopsididitnotagain ?

Lancashirelass26 · 01/07/2026 19:12

School gave you a list of kids’ and parents’ names and phone numbers?! That is a bigger worry.

MyTrivia · 01/07/2026 19:12

stichguru · 01/07/2026 19:08

I might say something like
"Hi I've realised that Jack is the only boy invited to Holly's party. Is he going to be happy that all the others are girls or do you think he would rather not come?"

If she says "oh yes he's fine with that", then you find the money to pay for your mistake!

What on earth makes you think this would be a reasonable thing to do?

MyTrivia · 01/07/2026 19:11

No, you suck it up. He’s accepted the invite.

As an aside, I’m surprised the teacher simply handed over the names and numbers of children in the class and their parents because of GDPR laws which now made this sort of thing illegal.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 01/07/2026 19:10

Anonymouseposter · 01/07/2026 18:47

I would invite the girl who was accidentally missed out even if I had to really economise for a week.
Regarding the boy who was invited in error I wouldn’t tell his Mum that it was a mistake. I would message her to say that I was giving her a heads up that now you have the RSPVs back it’s worked out that he’s the only boy from school going, he’s very welcome but you just want to let her know to make sure he’s comfortable with that. If he still comes you’ll need to cut back on something to pay for the extra child.

That "how to uninvite" without directly uninviting, though. 🤔

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