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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get a pet without asking DH?

298 replies

ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:31

My mood is rubbish. Pet therapy is good, supposedly. DH does not want a pet. AIBU to get a pet without asking him? Just come home with one like “I DID A THING!”

ETA: I know a pet is not “just for Christmas”, I would love it dearly

OP posts:
WhisperingHi · 01/07/2026 13:53

If you’re saying talking to him about getting one = no pet for you, then clearly it would be wrong to get one. You both need to agree to it. There are other ways to improve your mental health. Pissing your husband off probably isn’t one.

Megifer · 01/07/2026 13:52

Tbf he liked to think he could throw his weight around and have the final say in whatever he pleased, no discussion allowed and no rationale and I'd had enough of it.

Since Gerbil-gate hes learned his lesson that he doesnt get to pull the "man said no" card.

Some woman try and discuss shit behaviour like this, some just put up with it, what van i say - I get gerbils with not a single fuck given 😂

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 01/07/2026 13:51

I did this(well my friends did, presented me with a kitten(we had a cat already) in front of my dd. We were going through a bad patch and it nearly finished us off. He did come to love him and things got better but I wish id been stronger and said no.

FinallyHere · 01/07/2026 13:51

Pet therapy is good, have you explored options which do not involve having your own dog. May not be ideal, still better than divorce

Even considering doing this tome suggests that you need some kind of help snd support, nit to alienate your DH. Hope you get the support you need.

outerspacepotato · 01/07/2026 13:50

Do not come home with I did a thing and it's a live animal when you know your husband doesn't want a pet.

Volunteer at an animal shelter for a while.

Friendsinahighplace · 01/07/2026 13:49

ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:47

Sadly no… in the pipeline though

Show quote history

Well then wait and discuss this with them and see what they say

BleedinglyObvious · 01/07/2026 13:48

Depends on what sort of pet you had in mind. A pony or donkey, sure, why not. He won't even notice.

Original poster
ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:48

WallaceinAnderland · 01/07/2026 13:45

You don't get a kitten. You get a cat. And they are the least likely to be 'support' animals because it depends on their nature which you can't control. Some don't even like to be touched much.

I know, I used to have a cat who would occasionally grace you with her presence by resting her paw on your foot. That was the extent of the affection. But I loved her muchly

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 01/07/2026 13:47

Megifer · 01/07/2026 13:43

Depends what it is. My DP "put his foot down" on me getting gerbils even though they would have had zero impact on his life whatsoever.

Not scared of them or anything like that, he just didn't want them.

So of course he came home one day to me and DC squealing over 2 gerbils.

Yeah same here but with a hamster ,now we have a cat who dh ADORES!

Original poster
ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:47

Friendsinahighplace · 01/07/2026 13:42

do you have a therapist @ThisAmpleCritic ?

Sadly no… in the pipeline though

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:46

Megifer · 01/07/2026 13:43

Depends what it is. My DP "put his foot down" on me getting gerbils even though they would have had zero impact on his life whatsoever.

Not scared of them or anything like that, he just didn't want them.

So of course he came home one day to me and DC squealing over 2 gerbils.

Woman after my own heart ❤️

OP posts:
Helenloveslee4eva · 01/07/2026 13:46

Depends on the pet. I brought home a pair of gerbils without telling him.

it was the “ gateway drug “ to agreeing to a dog - which he now utterly adores !

Scarlettpixie · 01/07/2026 13:46

No introducing a pet into a household has to be a joint decision. If both/all are not on board it doesn’t happen. Maybe volunteer at a rescue?

WallaceinAnderland · 01/07/2026 13:45

You don't get a kitten. You get a cat. And they are the least likely to be 'support' animals because it depends on their nature which you can't control. Some don't even like to be touched much.

blackpear · 01/07/2026 13:43

I would have my husband to come home with a cat. What about them bringing rodents and half-dead birds into the house.

Friendsinahighplace · 01/07/2026 13:43

Megifer · 01/07/2026 13:43

Depends what it is. My DP "put his foot down" on me getting gerbils even though they would have had zero impact on his life whatsoever.

Not scared of them or anything like that, he just didn't want them.

So of course he came home one day to me and DC squealing over 2 gerbils.

Bloody hell

Megifer · 01/07/2026 13:43

Depends what it is. My DP "put his foot down" on me getting gerbils even though they would have had zero impact on his life whatsoever.

Not scared of them or anything like that, he just didn't want them.

So of course he came home one day to me and DC squealing over 2 gerbils.

pinkdelight · 01/07/2026 13:43

Your mood is not a pet's problem. Go to a cat cafe and cuddle the cats there if it helps, but there's 100s of other things you can do without this daft plan. YABU.

Friendsinahighplace · 01/07/2026 13:43

ThisAmpleCritic · 01/07/2026 13:37

Why?

Show quote history

Oh dear

Friendsinahighplace · 01/07/2026 13:42

do you have a therapist @ThisAmpleCritic ?

Parky04 · 01/07/2026 13:41

I would divorce my DH if he did that!

Kidsandhouse · 01/07/2026 13:41

BTW, we do have a goldfish, 2 actually. I chat with them all the time, much to the amusement of my dd...

VickyEadie · 01/07/2026 13:40

YABVU.

We have had dogs (one at a time, always older rescue dogs) throughout our relationship of 27 years. In 2024, we lost one to cancer after we'd only had her 2 years and both said we couldn't bear the grief again.

My partner caved after a month and I agreed to get another - but if I'd said no, there would've been no argument, because it's something BOTH partners must agree on.

Tableforjoan · 01/07/2026 13:39

Nooo you can’t even keep cats behind a stair gate like you can a dog. If they want to sit in your head on the back of the sofa they just expect to do it.

Kidsandhouse · 01/07/2026 13:39

Depends on the pet, a goldfish, maybe.

But that's it, or he and said pet can find somewhere else to live.

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