To be annoyed SIL showed DS her lactating breast

Would you have a problem with your child being shown how a goat is milked on a trip to the farm? If not, you really need to challenge your attitudes towards breast feeding.

On the fence about this .Tbh after giving birth and in the throes of breastfeeding you are so used to your body almost feeling that it doesn't just belong to you as so many people have seen it , poked it about , you feel quite desensitised to it , so perhaps showing her boob to a small child becomes like showing an elbow !

What’s odd is people thinking it’s ok! The op wasn’t there she received a voice note from the sil to say what happened and he might have questions.

Well done for not having a problem with something utterly natural and normal.

Why do people do this weird thing. Of creating imaginary worse scenarios. The woman is his aunt, in his house. No of course random women can’t do it. How odd to even ask,

To all the posters saying it’s normal, if he had approached a random woman sitting on a bench who was breast feeding and she went on to show him the milk coming out of her breast would this also be acceptable?
im with you op if you have another baby and was to do this that’s fine you are his mum but for anyone else absolutely not, not their place to educate your child in this way.

I am all for teaching kids about biology/the human body etc but I do think showing a four year old that was a bit much. A 7 year old? Maybe? A four year old won’t really compute and will likely go into nursery asking to see milk come out of his teachers breasts!! Not required, a simple explanation would have been enough.

A body part can be functional and still private. Genitals and bottoms are functional. That does not mean every demonstration involving those body parts is automatically appropriate. Not saying those are precisely the same as not used for feeding but as a general principle I think it is a useful starting place.

Personally, I think it would have been fine to show DS breastfeeding in so far that the baby is to the beast but squeezing the nipple goes further and I understand why you wouldn't find it appropriate.

I wouldn’t care . He’s 4 and it’s educational for him to know what breasts are actually for. What are you implying ?

There is also always the possibility the son said “how does the milk come out” and lo, the demonstration

I’m with the OP on this one. Fine to tell a 4 year old that you are breastfeeding. Absolutely no need for SIL to show your DS her lactating breasts.

The fact that she messaged you about it shows you she knows it wasn’t her place to do that.

From what you have posted, I think it would be wise to keep a healthy distance. This is your DH’s sibling, leave it to him to maintain any contact.

I agree with you OP, but people are becoming less and less inhibited by basic privacy norms and usually have absolutely no understanding of how that weakens child safeguarding.

Most people are not intentionally grooming children not to recognise when an adult is being inappropriate but by normalising adults deliberately showing them their naked private parts, that is precisely what they're doing.

It means that when an adult says, "look at this" and exposes themselves to a child with nefarious intentions the child's spidey senses don't go off because, well Auntie Linda did it too, and everyone was fine with it and thought it was normal so this is fine and not even worthy of remark to my parents.

Of course it is. You don't need to show anyone that except the feeding baby

I agree op that is a bizarre thing to do. I feel like pps haven't read your post properly, op isn't concerned about her son seeing someone breastfeeding, she squeezed her nipple at him to demonstrate. Completely inappropriate and weird

YABU. I don't see the issue.

Agree. I had a good old chat about how babies are born with DS - then 4 or 5.
Talked about holes. Women have 3, men have 2 etc.
”Can I see?” he asked.
Errrr no!

Editing to add - I don’t then agree with the second part of your post. I don’t think it’s the SIL’s place to be teaching her just turned 4 yo nephew this.

There are some posts that show just how freaking wild mumsnet is and this is one of them.
Back in the real world where breastfeeding is completely normal - what isn't normal is squeezing your nipple to show ANYONE the milk coming out.

How patronising.
OP has NO issue with her son learning about BF. Did you even read her post?
She is uncomfortable about his Auntie squeezing her nipple to show milk coming out.

It really isn't.

I actually think that is lovely. Breastfeeding is a normal activity but even now it is often still considered something to be hidden away. I would be pleased in your shoes, OP.

I’m mightily surprised by this thread. I breastfed all of my DC and when I was feeding the youngest my eldest was 10/11. I never would have popped my breast out to squeeze it and show him the milk coming out. It’s fucking weird.

If you were so concerned about hiding how babies are fed, you should have kept your son out of her room. I would not have a problem with this at all, nor would I be bothered if a small child asked if I was producing milk if I was the mother of a baby.

And no, it's not the same as a penis. Not at all.

I have bf in front of my niece before. She knows what it is. And I am all for women feeding babies wherever and whenever they want and need to. But no, I would not be showing her my boob nor squeezing milk out of it. That is weird.

YANBU. She crossed a boundary. Maybe she regrets doing it after possibly enthusiastically explaining to a young child and this is possibly why she text you.