To be annoyed SIL showed DS her lactating breast

Yes of course it could. And thank you sincerely for the infantile attempt at an insult coupled with the petulant refusal - which you offered because you have no actual argument, thus proving me correct :)

Everyone has breast tissue. Little girls don’t have developed breasts but that doesn’t stop predators so you can take your approach and I’ll take my approach of telling my daughters from a young age that breasts are private parts and nobody should ask to see or touch them. I’m not going to tell them breasts aren’t private and then suddenly at 11 tell them oh actually now they’re private. And I empathise with the OP because if she is trying to teach her young child that breasts are a private part it’s unhelpful to have something so odd happen. And no- I don’t mean BF is odd. I BF both my children. But squeezing your nipple to show a child who isn’t even your own milk coming out is odd behaviour IMO.

I can't see how it is helpful. My seven year old understands how babies are fed and no one has ever given her a live demo of milk coming out

You're being ridiculous

What's wrong with honesty and learning truth about our bodies from an early age.

Things are only private because we deem them so.
We only deem them so because we create taboos.

I can't believe you think that a 4 year old will take anything away from this other than "ok, asked and answered".

Certainly won't be "traumatised" in later years as one PP said - unlikely to remember the incident but will likely remember what breasts are actually for.

She was trying to be helpful I think .BF is a very natural way to feed your baby.Seems that she was maybe showing him how natural it was? I dont think she meant any harm

I dont agree about the penis but it is weird and yuck.

Op it sounds like you're not happy because you don't like your SIL. That's your perogative, but you haven't answered why no one was with him, and he was in a position to walk in on her breastfeeding. The fact that he did suggests that she'd gone somewhere private to feed, so it's not like she's making a big show of it for him. He could just have easily walked in on her expressing milk for later and seen exactly the same thing.

He's 4. The girls at school are 4 or 5 and don't have breasts. They won't be looking after babies in school so he would have no reason to think they are breastfeeding. Kids aren't stupid.

You may as well say a little boy shouldn't be allowed to touch his pregnant mum's tummy in case he goes into school and tries to touch girls' tummies.

YANBU. Haven’t read all the comments but it’s mumsnet so you’ll be piled on by people saying breasts shouldn’t be sexualised, breasts aren’t comparable to other private parts, it’s just a bodily function etc etc. Of course as adults we understand there is nothing sexual about breastfeeding. The problem is that young children don’t understand nuances and it would absolutely be a problem if your son went into school and tried to look at or touch a young girls’ breasts or even talk to her about them, because they’ve been normalised and he’s been taught “they’re just breasts not private parts”.

I include breasts as private parts when I talk to my young daughters about safeguarding.

No it couldn't, you giant loon

I mean, it's slightly odd but unlikely to have traumatised him! It's just milk 🤷‍♀️ and it's not like he's never seen a breast before, is it?

I really don’t see the big deal, he’s 4, not 14, he’s not going to sexualise his aunt’s breast. Some 4 year olds are still being breastfed, they don’t see it as sexual (because it’s not), they are small children and he was curious.

Presumably, as he’s 4 years old he goes in with you in public toilets and changing rooms? So he sees you naked and using the toilet. Why is that okay, but this is inappropriate?

I'm with you OP, many women are obviously going to stand up and say breasts aren't sexual but truth is they are. They serve both purposes, feeding babies and being sexually attractive to men/women (depending on the individuals sexuality), we give birth out of our vaginas but we aren't showing children who ask 'how are babies born' our vaginas are we? No because that would be considered sexual abuse and indecent.

There's a huge difference between a child being present whilst a baby is breastfed which could be used as a teachable moment without squeezing the nipple and showing the entire breast and what your SIL did with your child.

She overstepped with the demo ... unnecessary

I am with you. Totally weird and unnecessary. I would never dream of doing it, even to my own kids! I breast fed in public but was discrete and wouldn’t squeeze my nipple! Jesus!

That is SO not the same.
My aunt did exactly the same to me when I was about 4, I just accepted it as matter of fact. And maybe your DS will grow up to realise there is no mystery about breasts, and they are not there just for men’s pleasure and entertainment.

It's in the OP that she squeezed her nipple.

It is not in the OP that she squeezed her nipple "in his face".

Only one of those situations would be weird when answering a 4yo's questions about breastfeeding a baby.

Thats not really comparable is it

It’s an interesting one . . . I think I’d feel uncomfortable about it too but be asking myself why? I don’t really have the answer

I know that when I was breastfeeding all mine that when I was doing it, it felt like the most natural and wonderful thing ever and I was so in my own bubble I was blissfully unaware of how uncomfortable it made some people feel. It came as a shock at first when people passed comment on my perceived uninhibited breast feeding

Would you feel the same if she had shown him your lactating cat or dog who had just given birth? I sounds like she is simply being a good aunt who is engaging with her curious nephew and hasn’t realised that what she is doing could be seen as inappropriate.

If she’s a nice person and you trust her then let it go she’s just caught up in the moment and wants to share that with your son who has shown an interest.

She’s done it with the best intentions to educate a child on how a baby is fed. He’s 4.

He probably won’t remember it in a few days anyway.

It's in the OP that OP's SIL squeezed her nipple to show him the milk coming out.

No I genuinely can't tell from your post. I guess though, from your response here, that you probably were being sarcastic then. Thanks for clarifying!

At least your son will grow up knowing breasts are for feeding babies primarily, and not for grown men to gawp at.

I think what she did was a really good idea.

STOP IT!!! I know it’s not funny but I can’t stop laughing at that