To be annoyed SIL showed DS her lactating breast

Is it exactly what happened though- did she really squeeze her nipple in his face? He’s 4 and may not have articulated it well, could she have taken the baby off and shown him her nipple and it was in full flow mid feed and therefore he saw milk?

I think it’s a slight stretch to think this woman will go from breastfeeding to preaching about religion.

My aunt squeezed some into a cup for me to taste. I was about four too but I've never forgotten because it was horrible.

No, that's not true. Sucking on nipples during adult sexual foreplay stimulates sexual function in many women.

So yes, showing where urine comes out of a penis could be considered comparable.

I can't quite determine if this is a sarcastic response or not. Is it? Hard to tell with MN 🤔

YABU. get a grip. The child asked how it worked. She showed him. It’s a normal way to feed a baby. We are mammals.
is it your own internalised misogyny making you think this is somehow an offensive or sexual thing ? Because that’s a you problem.

Honestly I don’t know. Definitely not an unrelated child of course. Even with a related child, I think my main worry would be the parent reacting like you are.

It wouldn’t bother me if my 4 yr old was asking questions to a breastfeeding family member and was shown though. I don’t know what harm would come from that.

Wouldn't bother me at all, he was interested, she showed him. I’d follow it up to explain that it only happens when a woman has a baby, if you’re worried about him asking other women about it

I also think that was an extremely weird thing to do (and I breastfed, and have seen plenty of breastfeeding including full breast when someone changes position). Feeding itself is nothing remarkable. However, It's one thing to feed a baby, but another entirely to give an unrequested biology lesson!

Well it's not her place to teach your son anything important, and yes it is annoying that she overstepped. Keep an eye on her in future in case she starts trying to teach him about religion, ethics, sex or anything else that is the remit of the parent.

In this case though I'd let it go because although she shouldn't have done it, she will just pull the "you're a prude there's something wrong with you line" so favoured by anyone who oversteps boundaries.

This is not a reasonable comparison.

A breast has no sexual function at all - it’s only that some people (men, lesbians) find breasts attractive.

A penis has an obvious sexual function.

I see absolutely nothing wrong. It’s great for a kid to learn about something like that. You are being completely ridiculous.

Breastfeeding in public is really quite different though. Would you really ask your young nephew or niece if they wanted to see milk come out and proceed to squeeze your nipple to show them? That is what is odd behaviour.

You omitted to say she squeezed her nipple in his face in your OP. Yes, that is weird.

What is not weird is having a conversation with a 4yo who is inquisitive and asking questions, wondering how things work.

You are absolutely NBU - that's so weird. Reading it made me grimace. So so so unnecessary.

I wouldn't do it and I would have some discomfort with it, but I'm all for normalising breastfeeding, so I'd probably just cringe inwardly and let it go.

I remember, as a teen girl, visiting my mother's friend who just had a baby. I was shocked when the milk leaked, as it does early on. But I learned something that day, so wasn't shocked when it happened with my own baby a few years later. There's something to be said for being matter of fact about these things.

I wouldn't have had a problem with that at all.

Oh well , you don’t particularly like her and sounds like you won’t see her for a while anyway, so just move on.

I'm with you OP. That's weird and a massive overstep.

Yes that’s fine but not what happened here, SIL could have stopped at the point of this how the baby gets milk. She then instigated showing a 4 year old herself squeezing her nipple to show milk coming out. That was not necessary at all and I agree OP it’s inappropriate and weird - and I am open about breastfeeding.

It crosses a boundary for me. Fair enough with your own child, I suppose. But at that age we’re primarily teaching our children about keeping what’s under their clothes private. It confuses the issue. I can’t say I’ve ever heard of anyone doing this before!

You cannot be serious, comparing weeing and lactating to be equivalent. Good job your SIL showed him. Clearly he’s not going to learn from you!

Your comparing gentials to breasts? You’re being ridiculous and weird.

But a breast isn’t a penis, so it seems a slightly pointless comparison. I breastfed in public all the time, and I do not think it is akin to someone taking their penis out in a cafe.

Can you explain what you think the actual harm is?