AIBU to think my daughter cannot afford this holiday abroad?

Fish and chips in a cage doesn't sound much fun - really hope thats a typo 😉😅

Why should the daughter be 'profusely grateful'? OP has done nothing but nitpick and criticise her daughter. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I'm so glad that my parents didn't take OPs attitude with me when I was growing up, it would have driven me away. As it is, I am in a well paying job and am a highly productive, engaged member of society. I get that OP is frustrated but she just seems to harp on her daughter's bad points.

It will not cost £30 a day for some lunch and dinner and bottles of water in a supermarket. My son went to crete last year and had fish and chips for €6.50 and that was in a cage

Honesty OP if DD wasn’t profusely grateful for your suggestion of £30 a day, I’d lower it to £20. That’s enough for food per day on a holiday and I’d bet anything that even if you sent her £30 a day, she’ll ask you for more everyday.

So say “I can send you £30/20/whatever per day, would you prefer in one lump to last you the week or per day to help you budget?”

I think that was a supermarket rate? I'm not saying this is good, but I don't see how @ThisTealLeader will benefit from sending £20 per day.

If she's says she's spending £30 a day then that's the amount to send her each day IMO. She's probably just forgotten to include the costs of all those expensive wristbands, trips and events she's paid for! You're right not to agree to fund her party lifestyle, hopefully having limited funds will limit her alcohol intake a little.

My first thought when you described her was possible ASD - three years behind in emotional maturity is not uncommon. Just another possibility to throw into the mix. The impulsiveness and poor organisation definitely could suggest ADHD.

I feel for you OP!

Its not mean to go far . It's meant she can afford to eat . Even if it's stuff from supermarket

It's not to pay for her to enjoy herself, it's to stop her starving. she's already gone through £350 in less than 2 days

I can't imagine £20 is going to go far on a Greek island though? A quick Google suggests £45 per day.

So send her £20 a day to eat and make sure she pays it back on return.

Poor girl? Maybe she should've saved up a bit of money before planning it. And it's only the privileged that get end of school trips

What about all the " poor " kids that go straight from school to jobs even if only summer ones before uni

Many 18 year olds do fund their own holidays. I would never have received money from my parents for a holiday (we were not rich) so I worked and saved and budgeted for it.

the problem here is that OP is giving this girl money and she’s borrowing off her friend and she’s just spending and spending. Op has paid for travel insurance already. If OP gives her £30 she’ll spend it, £50 she’ll spend it, £100 she’ll probably spend it and demand more.

difficult one though. She’s not learning anything and is expecting everyone to just hand her money while she fritters it away. However, leaving her abroad with no money is dangerous.

This is not a teachable moment. As @jeaux90 said, the lesson is on her return. Making a vulnerable girl even more vulnerable is irresponsible.

It's the poor girl's end of year trip! The OP is forever sniping at her, it's a bit much. When I went on my end of exams holiday my parents gave me a generous chunk of money.

Oh dear.

I agree with pps to send her something each morning. If she said she has only spent 30 a day (obviously not as yo have said!) then I'd send her that. At least you'll know she can eat. It's difficult to try to teach your kids a lesson when they're a thousand miles away. When she gets home will be the time to try to get her to evaluate her life choices so far!

I wouldn’t give her anymore until she accounts for what she’s already spent properly. Saying she doesn’t know where it’s going isn’t good enough and the amount she’s spending is very high in such a short time.

So teach her it doesn't matter what she wastes mummy will cough up more? Some people

This. My DD17 is not sensible, she has AuDHD so the lesson would be on her return and not whilst there to make her even more vulnerable.

I wonder if she's not counting things like entry tickets and is just thinking about food/drink? Something isn't adding up.

Do you really think she's spent the whole £350 already, or do you think she's panicking about running out of money?

Insist she picks up cheap insurance. Aside from that leave her to deal with the consequences of her decision.

My DD’s very sensible 18 yo friend has just got back from holiday. She told dd she spent around £500 for a week. She already had her accommodation paid.

I think this is a reasonable amount if she’s got to buy food and maybe go somewhere like a water park etc. I’d be sending her around £70 a day.

The last thing you want your dd doing is not being able to go to the restaurant with her friends in the evening and wandering the streets aimlessly while they do that. Or starving herself and getting an eating disorder.

Shr could be picked up by dubious guys or all sorts of alone. As I said a few posts back, I’m the mum to a vulnerable daughter.

Right now, the priority is to protect your child. Not to give her a lesson in hard knocks.

On a interailing thread, the suggested budget was £100 (or €100) per day, and that had to pay for accommodation as well!