Nursery hinting my 3 year old has autism.

Did anything get raised at the 2 year check?
I would let them get checked as it might not be autism it might be something else which the tests might find. Or it might not be anything.

Better checked at 3 than trying to get a diagnosis at school!

I think you are, understandably, feeling quite defensive about it. But nursery workers see a huge range of children at all ends of the developmental scale and can be quite adept at spotting behaviours that fall outside the range of standard development.

It is very possible to spot signs of autism at the age of 3. One of my good friends had a baby the same time as I had DD1, and by the age of 2.5 the differences were growing increasingly obvious and she was convinced that her daughter was ND. By 3.5 it was quite clear to even a casual observer.

Agree with this. The nursery can't diagnose anything, but they are obliged to make you aware of things they observe so you can choose whether or not to arrange further investigations. That's all.

Is that because you think that misdiagnosis was only a thing then, and no longer happens?

Why are you so offended? It’s not a slur. And if your child is neurodiverse then the earlier it’s diagnosed the better.

That is the topic of the thread but shows misdiagnosis does happen and I would personally about assuming anything one way or the other in a child so young.

The staff have experience with children and have expressed their opinions to you suggesting that your son may be autistic. Those comments would cause anyone concern and a comment reaction would be denial. The only way ro confirm is to get your son formally assessed for autism by a specialist. It is thought that autism is a condition inherited from a parent,f even though you may not have been diagnosed with it. Many adults have been diagnosed as being autistic later in life. You need to ask youself how much harm would be cause if you don't find out now rather than never.

The nursery is doing its job. This is much better than the opposite approach.

What advice are you looking for OP?

You have had good advice about why they might hint, their professional opinion, the age at which children can be diagnosed…. etc etc.

The nursery haven’t done anything wrong, they need to make you aware of what they observe.

What you choose to do with that information is up to you.

They have given you their opinions and observations, if you don’t want to take it further then don’t, no- one is forcing you to.

You seem adamant there is nothing wrong so it’s your call isn’t it.

Three is not too young to observe signs of autism or other neurodiversity and get started on a pathway to diagnosis. Getting assessed and diagnosed takes a very long time at the moment, so he would likely be much older before any diagnosis was forthcoming. With that in mind it's best to be over cautious and get on a waiting list (you can always come off if he develops away from these traits) than to wait.

Whether he is ND or not he is showing developmental delay/behaviour that would be expected of a younger child. It's worth thinking about why this might be and what you and the nursery can do to help him catch up. Regardless of diagnosis you want him in the best possible situation for starting reception.

But the staff do? As other posters have said, the nursery workers have worked with hundreds of children and see your child in a different social setting where social issues may be more apparent

OP they may be right, they may be wrong, but it doesn't do any harm to go along with it for now. The vast majority for ND kids wait far too long for a diagnosis, either due to carers/schools not picking up the signs, or (more often) due to the massive waiting time for assessment.

If your daughter ends up being assessed early as a result of the nursery's concerns, it can only be a good thing. Either she doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria, in which case you haven't lost anything. Or she does meet them, and you're able to address it early, making her time at school much easier than it would otherwise be.

Yes, those behaviours that you mentioned in your OP are signs of autism in children, even as young as 3. That doesn’t mean that every child who does those things is autistic though.
The nursery workers will be wanting what is best for your child and you should too. Getting him/her an assessment will allow you to prepare for any challenges in the future if autism is present or, will put your mind at ease as it is obviously something you are worried about.

I would listen to their concerns with an open mind. They are likely to be right because they will have experience with many more children than you do.

If your child is autistic, it is better to know sooner rather than later because the outcome will be better.

I also wouldn’t assume your 10yo doesn’t have autism just because nobody has mentioned it as a possibility. Some people are incredibly good at hiding it. With my DC2, we only realised at age 19.
Neither school noticed. In fact they didn’t notice their dyslexia either. Dyslexia diagnosis was at 18, after completing A-levels. Autism runs in families, so if your DC is autistic, there is a golf chance that your other child is and most probably you or DP (or both of you) are autistic too.

In response to your latest post. It's important to remember that these educators will have potentially worked with hundreds of children and will therefore have strong knowledge on what neurotypical 3 year old behaviour looks like. They would not be raising concerns if they consider your son's behaviour typical of his age.

You are upset, as anyone would be.
But actually as childcare workers( I am a childminder) we are encouraged to pass on concerns about a child’s development to parents, so they can choose the appropriate path to take.
Its not a judgement on you, your child or your parenting abilities, it’s behaviour they have noticed, and feel obligated to pass on to you.

This was over 15 years ago the diagnosis took place and I think it’s actually more about not making your children’s information public.

I think this is more about your perception of autism than anything. They haven’t hinted your child is unwell with some incurable disease.

I would advise listening to their advice and taking it, which I say from experience.

My youngest went on the diagnosis pathway at 2 after the nursery explained how his development and social behaviours were different from his peers, along with his speech.

It doesn’t mean they are definitely right but we see our own children as themselves where a nursery may be more objective. They also see DC in a different setting, a social one.