Am I a crap partner?

Unfortunately it sounds like he thinks that you're lucky to have him. Knowing the way men think, it could very well be because you have 3 older kids. He sounds a bit emotional and obsessed with the 1 year old, probably because it is his kid. None of this is in any way your fault. Does he want you to encourage your son to have more of a relationship with him and do 'manly' things or something. Id stay living in separate houses whatever you do!

Up to you, but in around eleven years you'll be posting about your son, who has anger issues and speaks to you like shit. Your partner is destroying everyone's MH. Why are you subjecting your children to this?

Change the locks and tell him to fuck off.

Hea clearly not a good dad or partner.
You'll be better off without him.
What an awful excuse of a man for your children to see.

Get out now.

He sounds utterly revolting.

Be happy: leave immediately.

How does he treat your other children? He sounds vile.

What the F?
Why on earth are you focusing on what sort of partner you are and not what a complete arsehole you have decided to procreate with?

He says look at him he’s fucking obsessed with you. You’re raising a bitch. He’s not gonna be a man.

Kick him out whilst he has somewhere to go. He’s appalling. Not normal behaviour. Your poor family.

Your partner is a man-child. He doesn't like the fact that your son is taking away attention from him. Presumably your older children spend time with their Dad, so he's been used to having you to himself and having your attention. Your son is with you 24/7, and with him being young, he wants his Mummy. That's perfectly normal for an 18 month old.

Your partner is jealous and resentful of the bond your son has with you, and the time you spend with him.

Your partner is a twat. He's nasty to you, because you are putting the needs of a baby before him. You aren't a crap partner at all. Your partner is awful, and should be ashamed of his behaviour.

Ask him to move out. I assume he's living in your home? He has his own home, so tell him that you no longer want to be in a relationship with a man who's nasty, jealous and resentful towards his own child.

He’s the crap partner.

You're not a crap partner and he's an arsehole. Don't ever accept anyone talking to you like that, especially not your partner! Get him out of your home and your life, you deserve SO much better.

He's slowly ebbing away your self-esteem. You know you're not a crap partner and you're a great mum. Get him out before you've no confidence left.

YABU in even considering you’re the issue here.

Understand the bed thing totally as experienced the EXACT same thing.
This will NOT get any better.
You feel awful because he is making you feel awful. You are already walking on eggshells.
Please, please, get rid of him before you don't have the strength to recognise what is happening to you or recognise yourself. He will take every ounce of confidence from you. Sadly speaking from real life experience.

Don't hate yourself. You are absolutely fine. Hate him. And get rid.

He is a dick. Get rid.

Your baby boy does not need a toxic role model.

What a piece of shit. Get rid.

Why hate yourself? Hate him! He's a cunt. Then take steps to dump him.

This man is an awful, abusive piece of shit and a terrible father who is already showing signs of being abusive to his baby son. You need to leave his man as soon as you possibly can. He’s absolutely horrible.

Nobody who talks about a one-year-old like that or is angry that a baby needs comfort at night sometimes or is jealous of his own child is ‘a good dad’. He’s an appalling dad.

At the start of your post I thought oh maybe this is linked with some post natal depression but then you said more about this guy and ewww. Honestly, eww. He doesn't deserve you.

All babies deserve to be loved and if a baby can't be obsessed with their mum without a pathetic man commenting on it negatively I dread to think of all the other hideous comments he'll spew through this child's life.

Cut your losses now and kick him out. I'm glad that you've got a positive relationship with the father of your older children but I think this guy could be a more challenging co-parent unfortunately.

Helping around the house and being an OKish dad sometimes is not enough to weigh up being mean and hurtful towards you when he should be supporting and loving you. What a gross person he sounds.

It’s clear you love your son a lot. For both your sakes, send this man back to his home. Don’t wait for him to get his house ready, just pack his things and get him out.

It was so sad reading how you wouldn’t even ask
him to do housework or childcare or night wakings. He should have been doing those things.

OP, you don't need this in your life. Anyone who says you are crap in bed can promptly relocate to a bed of their own. He sounds like an extra child. The comments about your son are unsettling, aren't they? I've never heard anything like that personally.

So sorry you have had to listen to horrible put downs. Might life be better with him permanently out of your earshot, OP?

The only person you should hate is this man. I frankly find him disgusting. What he is saying is not even vaguely reasonable- it is FAR from what I’d expect from any decent human being, let alone someone who is supposed to love you.

He is saying the following about his own young child and the woman he supposedly loves:

He says look at him he’s fucking obsessed with you.You’re raising a bitch

he moans if our boy is unsettled at night it wants to get in our bed for a cuddle. He storms off downstairs onto the sofa then moans the whole next day he hadn’t slept.

if he’s upset or in a mood with me he calls me fat and tells me I’m shit in bed

And tells me he doesn’t need to be with me and I’m not a loss to him what so ever.

he goes to bed at 9.30 and flips almost if a pin drops (he’s an awful sleeper) sick of living on egg shells

He tells me he looked and felt better before us and was richer. Just hate myself

The reason you feel low is because you are living with a self centred and inadequate fool. Get rid, and you will feel lighter. You deserve better.

NONE of the behaviour above is AT ALL acceptable. There is no question of you being a crap partner. He is a VILE partner. Please speak to people in real life and get out of this relationship safely.

Get rid.