Am I a terrible mum?

I'm not generally a shouty parent, and I feel awful when it does happen- but I am pretty certain the situation you describe is a time that it would!

Just think about the lovely people who helped you, not the interfering CF. She probably never controls her child's behaviour, and they're probably one of the awful ones at school.
There are parents who think their child should never be told no, and should just be allowed to terrorise anyone. Sensible parents know their child needs to not hurt others-and he's only little, so you can't reason yet!
The dog walkers who sound so kind will understand-they probably keep their dogs under control and train them-and understand sometimes toddlers have less reasoning than dogs! I'm sure they didn't judge you.

Jeez, what a nosey parker. Hope you told her to do one. You're fine, OP. Got to do what you got to do. Don't give it a minute's thought..

Should have asked if she’d like to wrangle with him and let him pull her hair for a bit to see how long it took before she shouted. Absolute idiot and almost definitely not a parent.

We’ve all wrestled a toddler back to the car at some point
that woman probs doesn’t have any kids !

You were far more polite than I would have been!

As others have said, we’ve all been there. I had some really dark moments when DD was a newborn and my 3 year old DS decided to press every button known to man. Not out in public admittedly, but we had quite a few bath times that ended in all three of us shouting and crying. I remember one day when it actually went ok for once and DS turned to me and said with surprise ‘you didn’t cry tonight mama’!

It got better, and 18 months down the road I don’t think he remembers.

I remember a guy telling me as i told off my older child having a meltdown on the road side
Hos comment that the child will grow up to hate me!
...i said better that than a run over child and was he with watch the last hour of tantrums..No.
Ignore...dont listen...or take it on.

A few months ago my autistic son had a huge meltdown in a play centre. I admittedly and regrettably shouted in the moment then we swiftly left. The other parents were giving me daggers. 30 minutes later the police were knocking at my door! I couldn't and still can't believe it but the 21 year old girl who'd just opened this business had called 999. Absolute madness. The police found a happy, loved and safe child so nothing came of it.

Please try to ignore her, she's no idea what you are dealing with. You were worried for your children's safety near a road and it's natural instinct to raise you voice in danger. You're a wonderful mum.

We’ve all been there. You are not a bad mum. And that was kind of the dog walkers to help.

the woman behind - arsehole.

Try to forget about her or have a gin and tonic

You have managed to successfully summarise both why I hate parenting two children and why I hate parenting toddlers

No, you’re not a terrible mother.

I’m glad three other people were kind to you!

I’ve had a 2 year old and a new baby. I’ve done exactly the same thing. Of course it’s not ideal to shout but nobody is a perfect parent. It’s extremely stressful when a toddler is kicking off in public and you have to keep them and a baby safe, especially when you haven’t had two children for long and maybe aren’t used to it yet. The woman does need to mind her own business, take no notice of her.

She deserves to be given a toddler for a day for each time she critices how another adult handles theirs

YANBU. Even if it wasn't for the traffic danger, it's perfectly ok to make it clear to a child that hair-pulling, hitting etc is not acceptable. It isn't child abuse to raise your voice now and then to a child who wouldn't listen the first few times. You're fine.

This is what I was going to say! For one horrid person, there are many more lovely ones 💗 Don’t beat yourself - you handled it all perfectly!

A snapshot in your day. No-one can tell if you’re a good mum or a bad one. Lots of people shout in frustration. Let it go.

I used my knee to get my daughter into her buggy in the Disney Store. Not my finest moment but hey ho. She’s 23 now and still talking to me 🤷‍♀️🤣

I’m willing to bet that the passer by has never parented a toddler because every single person who has parented a toddler would have been eyeing you with sympathy and recalling their own mortifying moments…because we’ve all been there.
Chin up op, believe it or not this will be a funny story one day!

I had a situation a few weeks ago, first day out with newborn and toddler, 9 days post emergency C-section so still very sore. In the park DH realised he needed the shop so asked toddler to sit nice beside me and wait. Immediately toddler gets up and runs away, I had to leave bags at the seat and chase after toddler with the pram not very fast. I was shouting at him to get back wouldn't listen, shouted louder than I ever normally would as was scared I couldn't see where he was going. Had a couple of comments about this.

Also in the same park while I was heavily pregnant he threw a tantrum when I told him to stay on the path and threw himself into essentially a pool of mud he wouldn't get up and I with great difficulty had to haul him up and again shouted as he was struggling so much got tutted at by a dog walker

Felt like an awful mum on both occasions

Ignore her.

Really it’ll do your 2 year old no harm at all to be told very clearly to pack it in and get in the car. We’re so scared of scarring our kids for life that we think everything needs to be a negotiation. I think you did really well to keep your patience for so long.

I remember a mum trying to wrestle her toddler out of one of those car rides in the supermarket with a small baby strapped in the shopping trolley - the toddler was having none of it. I offered to watch the baby while she hauled the toddler out of the ride. Some smart arse made a comment along the lines of “gentle hands work so much better” - it was me who told her to fuck off, at which point stressed mum burst out laughing. Sometimes people just need to be told.

Sounds like you are still navigating being a partner to 2 children.