AIBU to stay part-time and cut costs instead of working full-time

Why don’t you suggest a trial period of three to six months in which you do all the cleaning and gardening, then reconsider together?

What percentage are you contributing to household finances now, and would you be contributing if working full time?

He is changing the agreement, what is his rationale?

He can't dictate it but he sure as hell gets a say as it impacts on him and his children - the whole family.

You need to think about the future and not just now OP. Your pension, your ability to save for your futures etc

Yes, I've seen some research, and that also relates to my own experiences of some people I know, and even myself, where working has so many positive side effects.

The routine to going to work every day, having to work alongside/with other people, etc., does seem to be beneficial for lots of people.

It's easy to become inward looking, introverted, obsessive, etc., if you "don't do much", stay at home more, have fewer human encounters in the average day, etc.

From University of Cambridge research into mental health
Research shows that employment significantly improves mental health and life satisfaction. Studies like the University of Cambridge indicate that even just one day of paid work per week reduces the risk of mental health issues by an average of 30% compared to being unemployed. 1, 2]

He doesn’t believe you would do the cleaning and gardening.

Maybe think longer term. Working full time may not make you financially better off now, but almost certainly will improve your long term career potential, you'll also be paying more into your pension (assuming a workplace pension with employer contributions) so will get a higher pension in retirement. It will also put you in a better position if your marriage failed as you'd be a higher earner, maybe better job/career/position, have your own larger pension fund, etc.

I sometimes think that part time working is a kind of "race to the bottom" of earning less, having less, but doing more yourself, which kind of works short term for a simpler/easier life, but does have longer term negative impact.

There is a lot of research to show that working helps maintain better mental health.

This just isn’t a situation where your wants automatically take precedent. Perhaps he doesn’t want to slave away full time be the one with the majority of the financial responsibility.

Did he actually say he was happy for you to work part time forever or was the thinking when children were young?

Your post is all me, me, me.

Don't forget contributions to your pension. Don't forget continuity with work. Don't forget it will make life easier financially for you all in the future. In my experience you will quickly tire of doing housework etc. Imagine if your husband said the same to you and made the decision to go part time. We would all like to be part time. It sounds a bit selfish on your part.

Your husband can't dictate your working hours. But are you struggling financially as a family? Then cutting back on expenses like the gardener and cleaner sounds sensible and then consider increasing working hours if you have to?

What are your health issues ? Surely you would be better off keeping the cleaner/car/gardener to allow you to pace your activity?