Page 4 | AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?

catsoutthehouse · 2026-06-30T09:54:43+00:00

We have a lovely cat and love him so much. He's one year old. He's a big mouser and goes out overnight, returning like clockwork at around 7.30am. He has not been home yet, so is now 3.5 hours late. I worry so much that something has happened to him! I've been out shaking a bag of his favourite treats, he is nowhere near. AIBU to think I'm too nervous to have a cat??

NightIbble · 30/06/2026 12:52

Mine loves to be outside and was once gone overnight so we got him a tracker he wears on his collar so we know where he is! We don't let him out overnight however, we live in Croydon and there has been incidents of cats being killed by what looks like a person so don't want to risk it!

Celiathebanshee · 30/06/2026 12:52

My cat has a tracking collar when she goes out because she wanders (the other cat who barely leaves our garden is not only trusted to go out naked but also allowed out after dark!) - might be worth investigating when he comes home. it's nice to see where they go. Screenshot attached of today so far - she gets let out after breakfast

AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 12:46

Are you home at the moment OP?

I'm sure he's absolutely fine, but have you called the local vet, just ti be sure nobody has taken him in?

Are there any building sites nearby or allotments etc?

SqueakyFromme · 30/06/2026 12:45

hope he turns up, please let us know

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 12:38

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 12:35

Another thing is they wander into other people's houses, sheds and garages and then get locked in. Can you put a message out on Nexdoor or a community WhatsApp group if you have one?

Thank you. I've texted my two next door neighbours. If he doesn't turn up till tonight I'll get my husband to put something on Facebook as I am not on xx

OP posts:

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 12:37

HughManity · 30/06/2026 12:27

Have you tried rattling the Dreamies?

I have, just went for the 10th time, no sign of him 😓

OP posts:

Puzzledandpissedoff · 30/06/2026 12:36

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:53

I'm surprised that so many of you don't let your cats out at night. There's very little traffic here at night so I'd have thought it would be safer to be out at night in some ways!

It's the same round my way, OP, so personally I shut mine in at dusk and let them out when I nip to the loo around 2am

That way they get a happy run in the darkness they love, and by the time dawn comes they're back in the house sleeping

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 12:36

SqueakyFromme · 30/06/2026 12:35

is he out all night in Winter too ?

He only started going out this springtime!

OP posts:

LordofMisrule1 · 30/06/2026 12:36

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:53

I'm surprised that so many of you don't let your cats out at night. There's very little traffic here at night so I'd have thought it would be safer to be out at night in some ways!

For us it's solely about the volume of animals he hunts and brings home. So sick of waking up to deceased mice, rats, birds, it's awful. He doesn't hunt anywhere near as much in the day.

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 12:35

Unforgettablefire · 30/06/2026 12:26

Is he neutered op?

He is, neutered and microchipped!

OP posts:

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 12:35

Another thing is they wander into other people's houses, sheds and garages and then get locked in. Can you put a message out on Nexdoor or a community WhatsApp group if you have one?

SqueakyFromme · 30/06/2026 12:35

is he out all night in Winter too ?

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 12:31

Do you know where he goes? Maybe go on a wander with Dreamies?

Sometimes they get scared and hide if another cat is blocking their route home.

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 12:29

OP, it's quite possible to get your cat in the pattern if coming in at night. I know your cat isn't used to it, but maybe just try feeding him later? It is harder in the summer for sure. In the winter he's not out all night anyway, surely?

HughManity · 30/06/2026 12:27

Have you tried rattling the Dreamies?

Unforgettablefire · 30/06/2026 12:26

Is he neutered op?

Gardenisablooming · 30/06/2026 12:13

All my dcats have had a 10pm curfew.

I'm not trying to sleep worrying about their furry little arses!!

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:53

I'm surprised that so many of you don't let your cats out at night. There's very little traffic here at night so I'd have thought it would be safer to be out at night in some ways!

OP posts:

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:53

Thank you all. I think I'll definitely install a cat flap in the future.

OP posts:

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:52

LordofMisrule1 · 30/06/2026 11:47

I would install a cat flap. We have ours set so that they can come in any time, but never go out. We let them out ourselves in the day, and once it gets to night time we don't let them out. If they come in then stay in, if they stay out fine they will come home whenever.

With a cat you do have to get used to their free spirit tbh, the more he does this the easier it'll get. Of mine, one very rarely stays away for more than a day max, the other will occasionally disappear for 2-4 days and then stroll home. The first time it was scary, but then I got used to it! I love knowing that they have their freedom, it's so good for cats to go out.

Try your best not to worry, he's probably fine. And if he isn't, well personally I know I'd rather live my life free with some risk than in a prison with a longer life. But everyone has to weigh that up for themselves.

That saying really hit it on the head, you're so right, you can't always be 100% sure can you!

OP posts:

LordofMisrule1 · 30/06/2026 11:47

I would install a cat flap. We have ours set so that they can come in any time, but never go out. We let them out ourselves in the day, and once it gets to night time we don't let them out. If they come in then stay in, if they stay out fine they will come home whenever.

With a cat you do have to get used to their free spirit tbh, the more he does this the easier it'll get. Of mine, one very rarely stays away for more than a day max, the other will occasionally disappear for 2-4 days and then stroll home. The first time it was scary, but then I got used to it! I love knowing that they have their freedom, it's so good for cats to go out.

Try your best not to worry, he's probably fine. And if he isn't, well personally I know I'd rather live my life free with some risk than in a prison with a longer life. But everyone has to weigh that up for themselves.

LillyLeaf · 30/06/2026 11:43

My girl has loved these warm summer evenings but I still get her in by dark. Her cat flap is locked at night and opens early morning for her. I couldn't sleep if he was wandering the streets at night. She is totally used to that, she's 12 and we have always kept her in at night

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:37

Shatteredallthetimelately · 30/06/2026 11:25

Every other message on our local whatsapp group right now will be a picture of a cat with the usual "have you seen this cat, they've been gone since xyz.
We are a bit rural and it's prime mouse/shrew/baby bird/bunny time here so maybe they're far to busy, and well fed to be coming home.

I always say cats don't tend to have owners, they have servants, they'll do as they please and they don't tend to be overly concerned that you worry about them.

Hopefully your cat will reappear soon.

It's definitely prime time for hunting at the moment! We live fairly rurally as well. Thank you. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:

Original poster

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 11:33

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 11:28

When the days are very hot, they tend to sleep more and then stay out longer at night - especially if it's a full moon. We have 6 cats and don't let them out at night. I get them all in when I go to bed, 11pm ish and then the back doors are generally open all day in summer from about 6 or 7am. One cat goes out most of the day. The rest don't bother much.

I hope he is back very soon!!

It sounds good but I won't be able to get him in late at night. He is not usually nearby before I go to bed if that makes sense!

OP posts:

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 11:28

When the days are very hot, they tend to sleep more and then stay out longer at night - especially if it's a full moon. We have 6 cats and don't let them out at night. I get them all in when I go to bed, 11pm ish and then the back doors are generally open all day in summer from about 6 or 7am. One cat goes out most of the day. The rest don't bother much.

I hope he is back very soon!!