Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?

115 replies

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 10:54

We have a lovely cat and love him so much. He's one year old. He's a big mouser and goes out overnight, returning like clockwork at around 7.30am. He has not been home yet, so is now 3.5 hours late. I worry so much that something has happened to him! I've been out shaking a bag of his favourite treats, he is nowhere near. AIBU to think I'm too nervous to have a cat??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
HairyCalifornia · 30/06/2026 18:27

I second getting a collar tracker. Our cat got out a top window and onto the neighbor's roof. We were only able to find her and help her back inside due to the tracker. And some meowing.

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:27

FourSevenFour · 30/06/2026 18:26

I thought that having a roaming cat means accepting something will happen to them one day.
Their average life span is about half of the indoor ones because of the risks.

Yes of course at some point I suppose. But I do think keeping cats inside is just totally against their nature so I wouldn't ever keep an indoor cat just so I don't have to worry!

OP posts:
FourSevenFour · 30/06/2026 18:26

I thought that having a roaming cat means accepting something will happen to them one day.
Their average life span is about half of the indoor ones because of the risks.

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:24

Shareadog · 30/06/2026 18:19

I mean, just have a quick google and nowhere tells you that’s cats should be out at night - from Cat’s Protection to RSPCA to vets, they all say keep them in.

Show quote history

Fair enough. We shall keep him in then! I think the difficulty will be that he wants to go out in that evening, I might not find him in time to lock him in.

OP posts:
Shareadog · 30/06/2026 18:21

And this here, average life expectancy of a free roaming cat is 2-5yrs compared to 15-17yrs or more for other cats.

AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?
Shareadog · 30/06/2026 18:19

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:07

To be honest I thought it was more cruel to leave them inside at night, he's desperate to go out in the night! He miaows forever if we don't let him out!

Show quote history

I mean, just have a quick google and nowhere tells you that’s cats should be out at night - from Cat’s Protection to RSPCA to vets, they all say keep them in.

AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?
AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?
Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:07

Shareadog · 30/06/2026 18:05

Cats are not nocturnal creatures. They’re crepuscular, which means they are most active at dawn and dusk. I get it’s summer but you shouldn’t keep your cat out all night - it’s cruel and he’s probably finding another house to sleep in as he can’t get in yours. Also, cats that roam are night on average die years and years and years earlier than those that don’t.

To be honest I thought it was more cruel to leave them inside at night, he's desperate to go out in the night! He miaows forever if we don't let him out!

OP posts:
Celiathebanshee · 30/06/2026 18:06

catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:00

An update!!! He's home😍😍😍 I'm so incredibly happy. We were having dinner and suddenly heard miawoing! He's eaten a full bowl full and is now asleep on our bed - I wonder what he's been up to.

Thank you all so much for being so reassuring. I might get a tracker though he's managed to get a collar off before.

I think I won't panic as quickly next time, maybe he's getting older and more brave!

Great news! Naughty boy
At least if he loses a tracking collar you know where it is, although that doesn’t help you find him! One of my neighbours has an impenetrable thicket where you might expect a garden and my cat has left at least six tracking collars in there. If she (neighbour) ever decides to tackle it, I am hoping she will bring them all back 🤦‍♀️🤣

Shareadog · 30/06/2026 18:05

Cats are not nocturnal creatures. They’re crepuscular, which means they are most active at dawn and dusk. I get it’s summer but you shouldn’t keep your cat out all night - it’s cruel and he’s probably finding another house to sleep in as he can’t get in yours. Also, cats that roam are night on average die years and years and years earlier than those that don’t.

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:00

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 30/06/2026 17:33

When he gets back, tell him he's expected back in by 9 pm each night without fail. He's on a purrfew.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I'll try and tell him!

OP posts:
Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 18:00

An update!!! He's home😍😍😍 I'm so incredibly happy. We were having dinner and suddenly heard miawoing! He's eaten a full bowl full and is now asleep on our bed - I wonder what he's been up to.

Thank you all so much for being so reassuring. I might get a tracker though he's managed to get a collar off before.

I think I won't panic as quickly next time, maybe he's getting older and more brave!

OP posts:
superchick · 30/06/2026 17:42

Mine come and go as they please but they are never far away. I thought one was missing recently and eventually found her asleep at the back of my wadrobe on a pile of scarves. But not before I'd scoured the neighbourhood!

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 30/06/2026 17:33

When he gets back, tell him he's expected back in by 9 pm each night without fail. He's on a purrfew.

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 17:31

Are you able to get into any of the areas you think he goes into? Honestly I'd be getting everyone to check garages, sheds or outbuildings etc at this point. I'd use the light while you have it. Maybe put food out in your garden and bang the dishes loudly.

Sometimes if cats are hurt or not well they withdraw and hide. It may well be he's not far away at all, just hiding.

Hr may have got into a fight with another cat or fox last night and it's given him a fright so he's hiding.

Otter77 · 30/06/2026 17:17

I’m exactly the same which is why I have GPS trackers - although they create their own anxieties too as mine are prone to taking the collars off. I hope he’s home soon.

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 16:40

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 16:32

What time would he normally come for dinner?

Are there any builders around because that can freak them out?

Usually, his schedule is like this:

  • Sleep all day in the house
  • Eat in between
  • Go out around 8:30pm and stay out all night
  • Back at around 7-8am to come in and have breakfast

He went out yesterday night and my neighbour saw him around 9am. Nothing since!

OP posts:
lightseeker · 30/06/2026 16:32

What time would he normally come for dinner?

Are there any builders around because that can freak them out?

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 16:30

TheyGrewUp · 30/06/2026 15:58

We are having a cool respite op and he might just be enjoying the breeze. One of mine sometimes goes on the missing list for 36/48 hours, usually in summer.

A good trick to get them back is to download cats/kittens miawing on your phone and sit in your garden playing them.

Oh my goodness that's such a long time! You think they just eat mice in the meantime? It's just so odd as he's very much like clockwork usually. He's a big mouser though so maybe hunting and as you say, enjoying the breeze. I hope so at least!

OP posts:
UndoRedo · 30/06/2026 16:14

We have trackers here too, doesn't make them come in any earlier but I at least know where they are. Mine are always locked in at night although one of mine is a dirty stop out and I was napping on the sofa waiting for Madame's return till the early hours this morning. Family think I'm mad.

TheyGrewUp · 30/06/2026 15:58

We are having a cool respite op and he might just be enjoying the breeze. One of mine sometimes goes on the missing list for 36/48 hours, usually in summer.

A good trick to get them back is to download cats/kittens miawing on your phone and sit in your garden playing them.

lightseeker · 30/06/2026 15:50

That's great your neighbour saw him. I wonder what he's up to?

Ladywhatlunches · 30/06/2026 15:24

Hope he comes home soon. YNBU to worry though. My cat is like yours. Generally sleepd by day, hunts by night. We have a cat flap and he just comes and goes. We live rurally. I have noticed that he’s been staying out longer since the warm weather. Sometimes he’s not hungry either as he’s been living off the local wildlife!

Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 13:47

An update, my neighbour has seen him this morning at about 8.30 roaming around. But nothing since then. It's odd as he usually comes in to sleep on our bed all day!

OP posts:
Original poster
catsoutthehouse · 30/06/2026 13:46

Celiathebanshee · 30/06/2026 12:52

My cat has a tracking collar when she goes out because she wanders (the other cat who barely leaves our garden is not only trusted to go out naked but also allowed out after dark!) - might be worth investigating when he comes home. it's nice to see where they go. Screenshot attached of today so far - she gets let out after breakfast

Oh this is so cool. If he ever turns up again I think I might get him one!

OP posts:
Unforgettablefire · 30/06/2026 13:04

Just thought I’d ask OP, I hope he turns up soon bless you I know that worry too well.

Swipe left for the next trending thread