AIBU to feel too anxious about my cat being late home?

Keeping cats indoors is the equivalent of locking a bird in a cage and never letting it out to fly. It's cruel and makes many cats severely stressed.

Just continue to let him out. The stress of being kept in will greatly affect him. I would fit a cat flap. I spoke to my vet as I was fed up of being told by so called armchair experts I was a bad owner letting him out at night. She said it was more cruel for him to be forced to stay in and she lets her cat just come and go. In her words quality of life is more important than quantity. By that she means yes it’s more risky for cats to outdoors anytime but they’ll be happier.

So don’t let him out. You can provide indoor enrichment and stimulation for cats, build a catio run for him, or teach him to walk on a harness & lead. You say he’s ’a big mouser’ but you actually have no idea what wildlife he’s catching, domestic cats cause enormous damage to small wildlife populations, and it’s time we acknowledged this and stopped letting them out to go on killing sprees.

Amazing ! What a great thing to have.

I have pedigrees with a cat flap so they’ve always been able to go out at night. That’s when they are most active. I’ve always let my cats out at night and it hasn’t shortened any of their lives. My last birman died at 19 and the one before at 15. They are so happy outside at night that I have no desire to spoil their joy. Though they do always appear for breakfast!

It's not remotely ludicrous - mine often don't bother coming home for food and they're hardly an anomaly.

Yes.
He was abandoned by them as a kitten. They live a road away from me. I found out because I saw him sitting in their garden, so asked the guy in the garden if he was their cat. He said that a female cat had had a litter in their garden, unbeknown to them, she was a feral stray, he took her to the RSPCA for treatment and advice, then adopted her and had her spayed. He said they couldn’t afford or want her litter, the RSPCA took the litter, except for Toby, who decided to adopt us before the RSPCA had space for his siblings. It’s all perfectly amicable, he lives between two houses, he pops and sees his mum, and I don’t begrudge him a bowl of food and a blanket in the greenhouse.

No, you are not being anxious! Ive fostered over 100 cats and currently have three of my own. I dont let mine out unless im in and then they are only allowed out during the day. This is due to them destroying wildlife (birds and mice for fun) and because they have been involved in RTA's. All my foster cats weren't allowed out at all and they coped well.
Have you got the funds for a catio? This is what I would do if I could afford it.

My lovely boy cat was missing for 7 days over the heat wave….i was so worried but he came sauntering back to me with a ‘what’s with all the fuss’ attitude ate his food and was straight back out again 🙄

I’m so glad he’s home!

OP, just so you know, you can get cat flaps that block entry if the cat is carrying prey in its mouth. They’re not cheap, but I’ve heard they’re bloody brilliant.

They probably do love it - and if you accept they’ll only have a life expectancy of around 5 years then I guess that’s fine.

What’s not fine is that the op’s cat is unable to get back in overnight. It’s literally locked out.

Cat’s would have to kill and eat 20 rats/ large rodents a day to survive. They actually eat very little of their prey. It’s ludicrous to say a cat wouldn’t come home for food.

Im really surprised at how many cat owners don’t let their cat out at night or at all! Cats love going out at night, that’s what they do. They are hunting creatures and night time is peak time.

Bloody hell - you feed your neighbours’ cat every night? That’s awful

Excellent news.

Im glad he’s home OP!

My cat also loves being out at night.

We have a cat flap (which we can lock in order to keep her in) but anytime we do that she sits at the front or back door and just cries constantly until we let her out.

She does have an outdoor cat house in the back garden (it’s on legs and insulated) where she has all her fluffy blankets and she chooses to sleep in there overnight rather than come back in the house.

We get up in the morning at 7.30am, open the back door and call her name and she casually appears from her cat-house and comes in for her breakfast.

She’s out from about 10pm usually.

I’ve had loads of cats over the decades @catsoutthehouse . In my experience male cats, even neutered, like to roam, especially at night. Thomas, a huge black and white boy, would disappear for three or four days at a time. First time it happened I was beside myself. Ronnie, my ginger tom, ruled the hood, and had various different homes along the road, would regularly drop in on neighbouring bungalows through open windows in the summer months .

I love the independence of cats, and feel blessed when they deign me with their presence. I know they’re home because they choose to be, and not because I’m keeping them inside. Have recently been adopted by a neighbouring Tom, who appeared as a kitten through our cat flap two years ago. He drops in for his dinner at seven every night, then sleeps in the greenhouse. I call him Toby. He’s gorgeous. Chairman Meow, my blue Persian doesn’t approve, but then he approves of very little. He rules the others with an iron paw. He never leaves the garden, only eats chicken and tuna, and Dreamies are a god given right not a treat. I’m allowed to sleep in the same bed as him, so know my place.

Cats are beautiful individuals. Enjoy yours and relax. And know your place, they own you not the other way around 😂

And def get a tracker!

Yay! Glad he's back.

OP, he may well just sleep all night now on your bed. So let him out tomorrow morning and then try to get into a routine where he comes home and stays in at night. Once the weather gets cold he won't want to be out all night anyway.

Honestly, cats who are out all night wander much further and it's always a risk, even though you live rurally. Rural lanes are the worst actually. Plus there are foxes - they don't usually attack cats but you never know.

The times they like to be out is evening and then early morning. They don't need to be out all night at all. I have 6 cats and they would be livid if out all night.

Cats hunt and kill their own food - a bowl of wet food isn't always that appealing!

You do get used to it. One of mine disappeared for 10 hours the other day (unheard of for him) but he did return eventually. They have 24/7 access to outdoors.

Just feed him morning and late evening so he comes home for food. It’s not that hard!

About a quarter actually!