“Too self absorbed to be a mum”

Are sizes different between Australia and the UK? A size 12 isnt 'carrying a bit of extra meat' here. I weighed 60 kilos when I was a size 12, Im nearly 6'10.

Also, whats wrong with using GLP1s?

How? I keep myself fit with 3 DC. Its got nothing to do with being self absorbed, its far more beneficial for DC to have a healthy active mum than one whos too out of shape to do things with them.

You sound very self abs-orbed

It can take a while even without PCOS and there is nothing to stop you continuing on whilst TTC.

Well yes there is.

She doesn't want to.

Not everyone gets stretch marks and some people pretty much 'bounce back' to how they looked pre-pregnancy - obviously not everyone, and there's likely some genetics/luck involved, but being in good shape with a high proportion of muscle beforehand will definitely help.

I'm not saying the OP shouldn't be prepared for her body to change (if she even wants kids!) but it doesn't have to be the end of her ever being in good shape.

The OP said point 5 (.5) stone ie half a stone not 5 stone

In your shoes OP with PCOS given you have dropped a good amount of weight already I probably wouldn't delay starting to try based on losing another half stone.

It can take a while even without PCOS and there is nothing to stop you continuing on whilst TTC. Generally I've always dropped weight when TTC as I stop drinking alcohol or eating rubbish. In my second pregnancy I dropped a lot through morning sickness.

It's good to have the muscle development for pregnancy but don't hyper focus.

As for your MIL she was clearly lashing out yes it was wrong but honestly your best just letting it wash over then starting an argument.

I think this is one of those things where mothers just can't win. If you take excellent care of your body it's selfish. If you have an imperfect body before choosing to get pregnant, there's people who would think that selfish too. For not creating some ideal environment for baby to grow. Do what makes you happy.

Nope. She’s just enjoying what she’s got at the moment. This smacks of jealousy.

I had abs before having kids, my stomach is ok now but will never look the same again. If that bothers you then that's worth considering. I couldn't have cared less but I had many telling me that I would care and were upset for me.

You're either a grandmother or reeeally want to be.

It's none of MIL's business when OP plans to start a family.

And the best laid plans don't always work out, so why raise her hopes/expectations when it could take years to conceive?

This.

She's jealous..
You do you, ignore the negative ones.

Your MIL sounds awful. Good luck!

Your mother in law is completely out of line in making any comment about grandchildren and certainly in giving any opinion about you. In fact she has no business passing any opinions on you or your home/situation/relationship unless invited to.

However you don’t want a rift because that will make life difficult. I would try not to see her this weekend. Next time she is out of line quietly and calmly let her know. Don’t argue - just say “I don’t find that an acceptable comment” and leave it hanging.

I think I would talk to your husband as well so he is aware of her comments and let him know you don’t find them acceptable. Up to you whether you ask him to speak with her about them and ask her to keep her opinions to herself.

My mil came and was very rude and we simply stopped inviting her. When she asked to come at Christmas we said no, we’d go to her. She didn’t want to cook so we said fine, we’ll take you out, you choose the restaurant. So she can’t complain but we minimised contact. She has now started behaving a bit better so we’ve relaxed thing a slightly. I will add this was driven by my husband who didn’t like the way she spoke to me and our daughters.

Parents and mothers in law have more to lose than you do if their behaviour is unpleasant. They need a firm hand.

We need to know what happened at the time. Next time she is rude you need to show her straight away that you won’t be tolerating it.

Do you even want kids?

I think she just meant that you’re now focused on your body image, so kids won’t be on the agenda for a while! There is nothing wrong with feeling proud of your body and enjoying it. Well done you 👏 Just take it with a pinch of salt as it really doesn’t matter to what others say or think. I got into really good shape for a few years before having children. I really enjoyed it and so should you.

Whilst this is true, there are plenty who are very happy with their post baby bodies too.

For example, I was back to a flat stomach within 4 days of all three of my births and I've read plenty of similar stories on MN.

I have no idea why but the midwives said it was probably because my stomach muscles were strong and tight.

Just wait until she mentions grandkids again and reply with “Oh that won’t be happening anymore, I’m far too self absorbed apparently!”

No she doesn't, it's a ridiculous thing to say.

There are, unfortunately, people who think it's a woman's "duty" to have children. And when they do, to subjugate themselves to the role of motherhood.

Usually it's people who feel they have sacrificed dedicated their lives to their children/family, and, frankly I put it down to jealousy and/or a desire to stop anyone else choosing differently.

@Broks pay it no attention (and stop giving it head space). Like pp I don't see any point in bringing it up, just smile and let it flow over you

How did she shame people on weight loss injections?

Ignore the haters here. Fair play to you. Maybe let it slide this time.but if it happens again call her out there and then . Get those abs 💪

OP said she wanted to lose another nought point 5 of a stone, i.e. half a stone.

Why are women so bloody obsessed with having grand kids. Do children define women, no matter what stage of life they're in?