AIBU to think the new school WhatsApp mum is overstepping?

I don't really understand the point of any of it. I would take the numbers you need and leave.

Just because your child is in the same form as a certain group of people doesn't mean there going to be in every single lesson together, in fact they will be in lessons with other people from different forms so the whole exercise sounds pointless. And a whole year group one would tip me over the edge.

Gosh we had one like this when mine were at primary. I’m outing myself here but she was known as Nut Eclair which was a corruption of Nutty Claire. We just left her to it, and off she went to organise everyone and everything. She was a civil servant before she had the kids, in a v dry but high ranking position and I think she tried to run everything else with the same efficiency of a cabinet secretary.

Ain’t that the truth!

Our primary school PTA is like this. It’s bonkers. I was stuck with it for a while as I’d committed to helping with the school fete, but now I’m free!

I wouldn’t waste time trying to reason with this sort of person. I would just back away, quietly and politely!

I only just realised there is a Whatsapp group for DC1 (he is just finishing year 8). It's all very informal though and quiet

Someone "formalised" the primary WhatsApp groups last years - so instead of just a class WA group there are now groups for certain events (so you join and then leave when the event it over) and other sub groups - like general chat and general notices etc. So I went from being on x2 groups for x2 DC to now being on about 7. I have muted them all barring the class groups.

I kind of get the intention to streamline the groups by topic but it just all feels a little bit up it's own arse!

I am 100% in the "wouldn't join a secondary school whatsapp if my life depended on it" camp.

But I think I have an idea of what she's doing/thinking if it's any help.... basically, she probably comes from a crazy primary school like DD's. Where the class whatsapp groups were treated by the school as if the SCHOOL was the administrator, owner and legally responsible for every single post. As a result, it was harder to get onto the original whatsapp group than it was to register to vote or open a new bank account. It also required this level of administration with very careful vetting of every message, which practically required a full time job for someone. Meanwhile if the tone or messages ever drifted even slightly, a firmly worded message woudl be added by the class rep reminding everyone of the school's "rules" for WhatsApp, often followed by a year group wide communication from the school reminding everyone of the "rules" and, on some occassions, an individual parent receiving a call from the school to complain because they had dared to complain on the whatsapp group....

Feel sorry for this woman. She's not going to know what to do with herself when she tries to ingratiate herself with the secondary admin staff who will wonder why this woman is so crazy and obsessed about jumpers and pencil cases when the children are expected to m anage it themselves!

Sounds very controlling from someone who likes to be centre of attention! I suspect most of the parents just can't be bothered with the drama and are ignoring, or secretly ranting to their OH like you! I don't blame you at all, seems mad and very OTT, particularly for secondary.

The problem is, commenting will likely create a lot more drama with someone who clearly likes the attention. So any comments about what she has done could end up making things much more complicated for you. Unfortunately, this has very possibly been the situation for things she has done in the past, leading to her thinking she is the 'leader' figure.

I personally would just ignore publicly and rant privately. I am sure after the initial settling in period the groups will become largely redundant as the kids are more independent.

Bloody hell, in y7 why are the parents even in touch at all. It’s all a bit weird

She’s obviously very anxious and overwhelmed!
I would just ask if possible to keep the organisation really simple and could we do a poll perhaps on whether to have form groups with admins etc etc or just one big group where everyone can post. Then go with what the votes say.

The best thing about secondary school is that there is minimal contact with the school and parents! Kids need to learn to work things out for themselves!
Any important info is sent my email and I speak to teachers at parents evening - you don't need anything else.
How are these kids meant to become independent if they still have parents (mostly mums) finding stuff out for them etc.. the mind boggles!

Take yourself out of the WhatsApp groups and live a happy life

WhatsApps died a happy death in Yr7! The kids communicate and school communication is better than in primary so not needed. In fact the drama comes from the kids whatsapp groups that we quickly had to ban in our house . Block and ignore

This is secondary school? Why on earth do you need WhatsApp groups for secondary?

This. You don't need it, stay out of it.Your child will thank you for it!

God, how did we ever cope without a WhatsApp group for every damn thing? I can understand it in primary maybe but not secondary so much.

Schools should have the their own apps for communication of important information. Just leave her to it, OP. It’s a waste of energy getting worked up about something like this.

Me neither. It’s part of it that the child is organising themselves. If they don’t know what day PE is then they need to find out!

When she finds out that the class doesn't stay together all day but are all split up into different classes with other kids for most of the lessons, her head is going to explode. Bless. 😁

She sounds mad. Keep using the group from the May event!

Wow.
They're going in to year 7 not turning age 7.

They leave primary school and the parent group chats should stay behind in my opinion.

Maybe it's just me? My kid left year 6. Had his leavers party and I removed myself from the group chat after the party. He has made new friends and I will give a quick hello and small talk with their parents if and when I see them but no to the phone numbers and group chats for me.

Starting high school. Let them grow up!! Let them learn to be responsible for themselves and any extra curricular things. School will tell them what they need to know. If you need to know then school will tell you.

There is no need for class WhatsApp’s in secondary school. This is a primary thing and doesn’t happen at all in my world in secondary

This is why I’m not in any school WhatsApp groups!!!

Exactly this, plus who needs a WhatsApp group for every little teeny weeny associated bunch of people

I'm not in any secondary school whatsapp groups. Don't see the point. There is plenty of communication from school and the kids need to take responsibility for organising themselves.

I didn’t even realise parents had WhatsApp groups in secondary schools. Dip out your life will be more peaceful.

Oh and lots of them as leavers picked up tutoring jobs when people posted on there they were looking for someone to tutor A-level or GCSE subjects.

Having a Whatsapp group for the year is handy. The one for my son's secondary saved my bacon numerous times especially when I had kids at multiple schools and wasn't as on it as I could have been in keeping up with all the millions of comms emails. We also used it to coordinate lifts for things like DofE expeditions later and now eldest has finished 1st year of uni it is mostly people posting job ads they've seen for the long summer break. Year 7 was a bit of a nightmare though.

It is really useful if the people running it are organised and put timely reminders in it for things like when to sign up for stuff, school letters used to go on it, reminders of mufti days etc. I think everyone was a bit overexcited at the start of year 7 and made it less handy when every post is followed by 40 people saying thanks or there are many posts a day looking for lost pe kit followed by 20 "sorry, we don't have it". Our coordinator was quick to stop any school-bashing.

I can see this set up could work well but its a lot of work for the reps to do the screening!