AIBU to think the new school WhatsApp mum is overstepping?

Starting secondary in September and our school has all class + separate form parents whatsapp chats. I've heard from a friend though that these die off quickly with occasional lost property messages.

No need for WhatsApp groups in secondary school.
Must schools have an app now, with all the information you need.
I would remove myself from the groups.

Archive it or leave the group. If you have any questions about school, check the school's app or message another parent that you know in real life and communicate with about other stuff because maybe you're already friends or your kids are mates.

I hate the communities feature. It's overly complicated and its made some groups genuinely less useful or engaged eg scouts or sports clubs.

To play devil's advocate here though, I kind of get where this controlling mum's come from if the thing she was setting up was better and easier to use. Sounds like it's not but that's maybe where her head's at.

I've been frustrated in the past when in a group with mums at a sports club where we were working on a charity event. I work full time so I'd said I'd do a few specific tasks in the evening when I was available. Things I find easy and quick to do, that I have the skills and expertise to pull together, and which are useful, usable and look good. Before I had a chance to do them a couple of other mums ran away with their ideas and we had a shitter uglier AI version all set up and shared before I'd finished my day's work.

But ultimately - this WhatsApp situation sounds crap and you're best off well out of it!

Sounds like she is in for a rude awakening!

Senior school is a very different game to primary! Those groups will be a ghost town within a fortnight of them starting, not least because parental involvement is far more at arms length. I suspect she wont like that and will become "that" parent to the school, there is at least one in every year!

Let her get on with it and leave the group, you wont need it and wont gain anything from it.

No no no, I’m exhausted just reading that! In my experience (3 at secondary) there is absolutely no need for any of this nonsense.

The absolute best thing about your children moving to secondary is the ability to leave the endless communication, parent mails, facebook, WhatsApp groups and that one mum who always asks the most ridiculous questions, behind. Anything really important comes from school and our school expects the children to pass on the rest of the information.
Enjoy the peace!

My oldest is at secondary school and i dont even any of his friends parents names let alone have them on whats up. Its one of the bonuses of having older kids. My younger ones are in primary and we have no whats up groups either thankfully

Crying

We had a dad like this. Joined the school in Y7, we already had a WhatsApp group from all through Junior school (it’s a 3-18 school) and just added new parents to that. It had worked perfectly well for years, but this dad (within 3 weeks) insisted on changing it to a Community Group. There were sub groups for homework, lost uniform, after school clubs, form groups, sport….the list went on and on and on. When I objected he went on a massive rant about how I would do my DC a disservice being so resistant to change, I needed a ‘growth mindset’ apparently, I recall he posted some links of books I should read. I left the group.

A year later his DC got expelled - which was unfortunate for the Community Group as he was the only admin.

Nope, any questions like that either the kids would answer/ask their friends or would be on parentmail (or whatever app the school uses) or last ditch we'd just call or email the school reception...

I couldn't be doing with it and wouldn't participate especially with Queenie Bee!

I have never joined or needed to join a WhatsApp group at secondary school level. I’d decline if asked. There is absolutely no need for it whatsoever. I didn’t do it at primary level either. Absolutely ridiculous intrusion and she sounds like an absolute control freak. Just leave the groups and let her get on with. She’ll be chatting to herself in no time 🙄

Lol..I've had ny fill of PTA's,...there's always a couple of..shall we say "stalwarts" that want to dictate to everyone else. I guess this is akin.
I'm not inclined to play that game and told them so.
I worked my ass off for PTA..scrounged everywhere, got the funding, prizes for auction etc....but the "stalwarts" wanted the thanks and reward.
I wasn't doing it for thanks, it's a thankless task..I was doing it for my childrens school..but some spoiled it for everyone, created problems where there weren't any.
I suggest doing your own thing, perhaps with or without a handful of others.

I don’t know a single parent in secondary school. WhatsApp groups not a thing at all where I am.

In high school parents should not be micromanaging their children. No wonder so many have issues with anxiety. Step away from the group !

She sounds a nutter

im class rep and set up our groups over the years

but for the one class dd is in

not the other 2. We are a 3 class entry year

why she feels she needs to be admin on the others and get messages about stuff that’s nothing to do with her child is beyond me

does she have no life ?

all the parents can post in our class group

That sounds crazy tbh. My youngest is now in year 10 about to go in Year 11 she’s the first one I’ve been in a Whats App group for since she started yr 7 and we do have a what’s app year group and we also have a form what’s app group and no one ever posts in there just the main year group but you don’t really need one in secondary I never had it for my eldest and second eldest at their schools

As others have said it won't get used so don't worry about it.

I’m in a couple of minds about this. I have children in two different schools and this is the set up in my daughter’s school - except anyone can post on the whole year group one. It does sound as though this woman has not gone about this in a particularly charming way (and you do need to be charming when you do stuff like this). I am not surprised that the reps have realised that they are not up for the role - it effectively makes them PA to 60+ parents.

In my son’s school there is one group for the whole of the year so it means that a couple of hundred people get the “Are the boys back to normal uniform on Monday?” questions.

When my oldest niece started senior school, the school asked the parents not to volunteer stuff like what days they need games kit on the group - because it was up to the children to organise themselves. They need to learn the habit of checking what they need in year 7. As this stuff made up the bulk of the chat, I expect the WhatsApp groups were fairly quiet.

Just let her crack on. 😂 No one will use these groups after about December and you will get to watch her melt down when all her efforts are for nothing.

DD's year group was made up by 240 girls, with each of the 8 forms in 4 different houses and they only interacted within their own house, so max 60 girls she could theoretically interact with. They had different time tables, different set ups for food tech/trips/lab time and PE. So general chat would have been really difficult.

When DD joined Y7 she was one of 20 girls from her primary school. I think she only really interacted with the ones in her house, so 5 or 6 of them, I think she didn't even saw most of them on a daily basis.

There was a general parent of XX school FB group which was a bit handy if you had general questions and parents with older children helped out with information. But that was maybe posted in a couple of time a month.

It seems like a lot of work for her. If you wanted sub groups why not just set them up separately when the new classes start, she probably assume that you expected her to do it.
I wouldn’t be the admin for all the money in the world, cut her some slack as someone has to be the donkey, the fall guy.
I am not in the watsapp group. We have a school app for information.

As a side note, from what I can tell, if you do join the class whatsapp, i tjust becomes a source of anxiety. "Petie didn't tell me that he needed a new ruler and he tells me Mrs Smith is very strict - will he get detention" which then causes everyone to spiral or "Annie is complaining that Mrs Jones picks on her, has anyone else's child noticed this?" or similar.

Avoid avoid avoid.

She’s a control freak. Mute the group. Make a smaller one with the mum’s you actually know.

Almost play-by-play this is what happened in my DD’s year WhatsApp - there is one particularly nutty one who messed around a couple of hundred parents. It’s exhausting. She also has a full-time job. I don’t know how she finds the time to play whatsapp wars. She is also one to pose random questions and reply all “thanks” when there are 177 people on the main year chat.

Many parents have now told the school they don’t use the form rep / class WhatsApp comms stream so we’re back to getting much more detailed emails (private school if that makes any difference - possibly attracts more nutty over involved controlling parents but I don’t have a comparison!)

Do not get involved, she is batshit.
Archive her number and do not reply to her.
You have zero need to be involved with such a controlling loon.

If you know her childs name, tell your child to avoid.

This is so similar to when one of my children joined secondary school. The WhatsApp drama was insane. It ended with the controlling Queen Bee mum turning off posting rights to anyone who wasn’t admin! Mental. I left all the groups and told my child they’d better be organised themselves as I haven’t got time WhatsApp drama!