AIBU to think the new school WhatsApp mum is overstepping?

I thought the same

Our y7 group (Facebook) had nothing in it other than X lost their PE kit is anyone sees it for about a year so I left it as it was a waste of time and refuse to go back.

youngest started this year, never joined it in the first place.

do yourself a favour and leave. Kids organise their own stuff v.quickly at secondary and the school communicates with you directly anyway.

I just have always called the office if I had a question - never felt the need for anything else.

Year 7? I thought you were going to say reception! Just leave.

FFS…….she sounds like an overbearing control freak! Sorry, I could NOT be involved with such madness!

Exactly.

We have one of these. She's currently having a meltdown because her child has only been put in a class with one other kid from our school that she knows about. So either all the other parents are deliberately and quietly withholding information or her child isn't with any other from our school.

Given that at least two parents explicitly asked for their child not to be put with hers because she's the problem (as in the mother not so much the kid), I'm not surprised by either possibility. It just means she can't set up a WhatsApp group for her child's class which I have no doubt she would be doing.

Why the need for a WhatsApp group for secondary age kids?

Secondary? Just ignore/archive/mute and carry one.

I think I knew 2 of DD's classmates parents - because they went to the same primary school. I met later 2 others and had the phone number for one due to a birthday trip to a theme park so we could get hold of someone else in case of an emergency.

Otherwise I managed to survive the 7 years until A-levels with DD sorting her life out herself.

Most stuff from school will come to your child's school email. We had an intranet where we had access to with a parental log-in or you may get an email directly with any necessary form required. We had bi-weekly newsletters with upcoming events I added to a calendar.
That was all we ever had to organise. If I wasn't sure about something I asked DD to figure it out/check with her classmates.

I would put the whole thing on "mute" and communicate only with the mums you know and like, or leave the WhatsApp group altogether.

It's possible this woman is just trying to help everyone out. It doesn't need to turn into a pissing contest and going behind her back to ask others what they think of it is a bit nasty. Stop that.

Never been in a secondary WhatsApp. No wish to interact with potentially crazy strangers. Your child is not 4 they should be working the logistics out themselves. It’s part of their development. Honestly parents need to back off.

I’m surprised at the number of people saying they don’t use WhatsApp groups at secondary. Ours is very active! Recently we have had questions on timings for prize giving, dress code for a school trip, details for an event parents can attend in school time, progress towards school of team buses after matches (some parents use trackers) and lunch card credit.

But Queen B sounds controlling and a bit crazy. That level of admin and control is not required.

Why do you even need a Whatsapp group? When my kids were at school whatsapp hadn’t been invented (mobile phones were yet to emerge) and we managed fine by talking to each other. It’s ridiculous.

Why do you even need a Whatsapp group? When my kids were at school whatsapp hadn’t been invented (mobile phones were yet to emerge) and we managed fine by talking to each other. It’s ridiculous.

We just have a group that was originally started for anyone's parents who were interested in DS's primary school class, and carried through to Secondary (same people). My partner changes it's name every year. Anyone can post at anytime. Still used as reminders for things in Year 10 currently but nir loads. No drama.

This.

We had a mum like this when ours went to secondary. She set up a year Facebook group then policed it so much. Plus she was insanely controlling and managed to hack into the parent app ahead of when we were given our actual log ins so she could start stressing everyone. She spent ages trying to get a map of the school then posting about how far the children were expected to walk each day between lessons.

She even used to request that we ask out children to play some game with her daughter on PC in the evenings so she had friends!

You just don't need any of that at secondary. The kids sort themselves out and anything else comes in newsletter's or parent app.

She's a crazy communal narcissist who needs to feel a sense of importance but trapped in a life of kids and chores so the only way is to do so at school. She inserts herself into everything to gain a sense of importance which she probably can never get from a career achievements. Instead of being paid to manage other adults in a work environment, she uses other parents as captive participants for narcissistic supply

There is always THAT ONE mum at school who behaves like this. Unfortunately you can't escape because of the children's friendships, mutual friends, birthday parties etc. Don't escalate the issue though because narcs can flip on you when they feel they're being called out. In her own fantasy world, she's is delighted at masterfully "manipulating" people but has no idea that her motivations are so transparent and cringy.

Her head will explode when she finds out that kids from other schools are in the forms too!

Just leave and tell others complaining to do the same thing! I’ve had 2 children go through the school journey and all messages came through via emails. As soon as you get events/deadlines via the email, pop it onto your calendar. Any clarification is done by email or calling reception. There is no need for what’s app groups, nor ask other parents who may be equally clueless.

Just set one up for your own class and let her crack on with everyone else's.

The only reason the WhatsApp group for my DS2 is still going while they are at high school is because one of the mums is married to the bus driver that does the route and updates it in winter with delays (we get a fair amount of snow).

There have been other parents added periodically whose children are in other years.

i think even this one would have y away if it wasn’t for major roadworks that made the school bus a nightmare for timings for a year, and then a new HT that caused a lot of issues. It’s generally really not necessary in secondary

set up one with your own group of friends - you can set the other one to no notifications but check what is happening from time to time

We have a similar WhatsApp setup at my son’s secondary - a whole year group then one per form, in his year anyway. They are pretty quiet really but can be very useful. The PTA tried to move to a different app for communicating but most people just prefer WhatsApp. The mum you mentioned sounds a bit unhinged, but maybe she’s an official class PTA rep?
I think it’s sad that the majority of posters say there’s no need at secondary school and that they don’t know any other parents. Secondary schools need communities too.

Looooog post
who cares what the woman does ?

All you need is a couple if mates in same year you can text to check stuff with

you need to make your kids reliable and independent

You definitely don’t need that in secondary school.
Foll the schools social media and they will email loads anyway !