Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse my 15-year-old a late-night concert trip?

32 replies

Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:02

DD is 15, was at a concert at an outdoor venue, escorted by a friends parents.

Friends parents are very relaxed and allowed them to have a drink or alcohol before the concert. I’m pretty relaxed about alcohol when they hit 16 and I am aware that they may well drink at 15 but I wouldn’t give it to them and I certainly wouldn’t give it to someone else’s child. This is to give some context as to the friends parents boundaries. Friend is a lovely kid and I am generally fond of the parents, but less fond of them doing this.

Apparently last night it was decided that they (2 friends) would go to this venue on wednesday and sit outside the concert and listen to the music with other people who don’t have tickets. This is a train ride away (30 mins or so) and they wouldn’t be home until Midnight.

This seems a bit much for me, somewhere locally I could live with, but a train ride that time of night, with lots of drunk people when you are only 15 seems risky.

Apparently I am absolutely unreasonable, what do others think?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
corkscissorschalk · 30/06/2026 12:07

@Bubblehubbles
Just say no to this one. You aren’t comfortable with it, and that’s that.
Aside from the fact that you say she’s just been to another concert, so it isn’t that you never let her do things, it’s perfectly fine to make decisions for your not yet adult children regarding their safety.

Lomonald · 30/06/2026 11:50

I might be very straightforward saying this, but why didn't you say no why are you putting the onus on the friends parents you are "allowed " to parent your 15 year old and say no and should have brought her home.

Cosimarocks · 30/06/2026 11:50

I remember being stranded in Docklands when I was 15 with a friend after a Blur gig in the 90s. Train terminated and we were miles from anywhere.

Glastonbury at 16. Pitched our tent far too close to the Pyramid stage, it was nearly crushed, found a stranger over dosed in our tent the first night and had to get medical help. On the Saturday came back to find our tent stolen and had to work out how to get home.

Travelled alone to Dublin later that year to play some gigs and stay on the friend of a friend of a friend’s floor.

All experiences that, while difficult, helped make me independent and able to cope. And some fun stories and great memories.

My nearly 20 year younger half sibling was wrapped in cotton wool and still, now aged 25, lives at home and her father collects her by car from the tube so she doesn’t have to cope with the dangers of the 7 minute walk.

Different times perhaps, but certainly I think 15 is the time to start exploring that independence and such. If they’re together and you can trust them to an extent and are on hand to be ready to collect them in an emergency (keep their phones charged!), I’d say let them do it! It’s the sort of memory that will stay.

ConverselyAttired · 30/06/2026 11:46

I wish OP would give us a steer as the reason I asked in the first place was so locals could say whether they're going to get moved on by security anyway.

SideboobToYouToo · 30/06/2026 11:45

I'd probably say yes, but without knowing the park, it's difficult.
It's not Hyde Park is it?

ConverselyAttired · 30/06/2026 11:24

Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:30

By the friend, her. ‘cool’ parents and my DD.

Edited
Show quote history

Maybe the cool parents can get out of bed and go pick them up afterwards if they are so in favour...

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 30/06/2026 09:26

Interesting that it’s almost 50/50.

I don’t think I’m a strict parent and I really like the kids to have fun but I am a bit aware of dangers that can be out there.

OP posts:
Tamtim · 30/06/2026 06:29

It would be no from me. Especially if they are drinking.

SevenYellowHammers · 30/06/2026 00:42

Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:29

I can but I don’t really see why I should battle that traffic at midnight when
they have no ticket or indeed interest in the band

Show quote history

A total waste of time, money and effort! She won’t be able to see anything or hear much. And picking her up will be a pain. Just say no and let her huff and puff. I’m all for helping kids have some fun but this is a silly idea. World war 3 will pass!

Katelinda · 30/06/2026 00:18

I have a 15 year old and would say no to this.

Delphiniumandlupins · 29/06/2026 23:50

DidntLikeTheEnding · 29/06/2026 23:43

That's what I thought but OP says there's limited public transport so maybe not?

Show quote history

Also, it's not really a long walk out of Bellahouston in any direction. Local opinion is that it's quite hard to just sit on the hill because security move people on but I don't know if that's accurate. You would hear pretty well outside the park though.

DidntLikeTheEnding · 29/06/2026 23:43

LaliqueSaltGrinder · 29/06/2026 23:29

If it’s Pitbull at Bellahouston, the forecast is rotten!

That's what I thought but OP says there's limited public transport so maybe not?

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:42

Paquitavariation · 29/06/2026 23:41

I was pretty chilled about my teens going to gigs at that age and travelling only 30 mins there and back wouldn’t have bothered me, but I wouldn’t have let them just hang around in a park drinking, no. That’s completely different.

I agree. If she had tickets and it was a band she really liked , I’d drive out and collect but this is different

OP posts:
Paquitavariation · 29/06/2026 23:41

I was pretty chilled about my teens going to gigs at that age and travelling only 30 mins there and back wouldn’t have bothered me, but I wouldn’t have let them just hang around in a park drinking, no. That’s completely different.

DallazMajor · 29/06/2026 23:36

Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:28

I have and it’s WW3. I just wanted to gauge if I am out of line here

Show quote history

You’re not being unreasonable.

Noce · 29/06/2026 23:32

you’re not being ridiculous or over strict. I can absolutely sense they will get super drunk and struggle getting home.

I used to go to gigs and festivals at 14/15, but was too terrified of my Mum to drink alcoholZ.

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:30

LittleMonks11 · 29/06/2026 23:29

It was decided? By who exactly?

By the friend, her. ‘cool’ parents and my DD.

OP posts:
LittleMonks11 · 29/06/2026 23:29

No you’re not out of line. WW3 will come and go.

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:29

jackstini · 29/06/2026 23:25

Can you offer to pick them up; how far is it?
Then you would have peace of mind about them getting home

I can but I don’t really see why I should battle that traffic at midnight when
they have no ticket or indeed interest in the band

OP posts:
LaliqueSaltGrinder · 29/06/2026 23:29

If it’s Pitbull at Bellahouston, the forecast is rotten!

LittleMonks11 · 29/06/2026 23:29

It was decided? By who exactly?

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:28

DallazMajor · 29/06/2026 23:24

If you’re uncomfortable with it just say she can’t go.

I have and it’s WW3. I just wanted to gauge if I am out of line here

OP posts:
jackstini · 29/06/2026 23:25

Can you offer to pick them up; how far is it?
Then you would have peace of mind about them getting home

DallazMajor · 29/06/2026 23:24

If you’re uncomfortable with it just say she can’t go.

Original poster
Bubblehubbles · 29/06/2026 23:22

CucumberCool · 29/06/2026 23:19

They will likely be moved on from hanging around outside and are very unlikely to be able to hear anything worth travelling that far for! It will just be a bass rumble/vibrations. I would definitely try to discourage this. Why not offer a small kitchen party with the songs so they don't have to miss out completely and you can keep an eye on them

I’ve offered but they don’t even actually like this band. It’s literally just so they can sit on the hill and I
guessing, drink alcohol

OP posts: