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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to object when a bus driver repeatedly called me darling?

118 replies

DontDareCallMeDarling · 29/06/2026 22:35

I caught a bus today to a National Trust property I'm very unfamiliar with. The bus driver told me the bus back to town was across the road from where he dropped me off so of course I waited there.

When a bus turned up the driver said I was at the wrong bus stop and need to be across the road. I was puzzled because that would take me away from where I needed to go. I told him that I'd come from the other direction "No you didn't darling" ... I was adamant that I did, because I know I did. "Sorry darling you didn't"

I replied that I was not his darling. Clearly the original bus driver gave me the wrong information, though I was worried about not getting back, missing the right bus, and having what people often think of as a term of endearment (a matter of opinion) used to try to correct me.

I crossed the road and caught the bus but only just made it. All very confusing.

OP posts:
cuckoolodger · 30/06/2026 07:32

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/06/2026 22:50

Yanbu. Sometimes darling is just a greeting, other times it's patronizing. Imagine having the gall to tell someone you knew which direction they'd come from when you weren't even there.

Imagine being an experienced bus driver and telling a customer they were in the wrong place as the bus didn’t stop there and then the customer having a go at you and telling you they were wrong. My DH is a bus driver and he now refuses to do service runs as the public can be SO unpleasant. He only does school and MOD runs now as the school kids are kept in line by the teachers and the MOD are kept in line by the Sargent etc. But the public? Often Rude, offensive, entitled and even threatening.

rwalker · 30/06/2026 07:31

Best you give our train station a miss everyone get flower or buttercup from the woman on the platform

yellowpinksky · 30/06/2026 07:31

Depending on where colleagues are from, I'm duck, mate, hun, love, lovely, sweetie, sweet, darling, my lover and babe. It's not something I can get worked up about. I do hold my hands up and admit I call people lovely. It's a habit I'm trying to break, but it's hard!

Lentilcakes · 30/06/2026 07:26

Wouldn’t bother me, people use ‘darling’ ‘love’, ‘my lovely’ (my vet’s receptionist says this to everyone inc- men and women), ‘me duck’ if you’re in Nottingham, ‘my lover’ (Bristol).

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 30/06/2026 07:25

I got told off for calling someone 'love' last week, but I apologised by saying "Oh I am sorry sweetheart" which I am sure made up for it 😂
DO NOT COME NORTH OP!!!

catslovehairties · 30/06/2026 07:22

Never live up north OP, you’ll be objecting 24/7 😂

x2boys · 30/06/2026 07:17

Well its better then cock
I get love a lot which i dont mind

AgnesMcDoo · 30/06/2026 07:12

It depends on how it’s said.

was he trying to be nice or was he trying to patronise you?

Vintlet · 30/06/2026 07:07

Wait until they call you ‘Dear’ in a kindly voice. It makes you feel a hundred however kindly it is said. Having said that , bus drivers in my experience are so kind and helpful.

DelectableMe · 30/06/2026 07:03

Mt563 · 30/06/2026 07:01

Even if he was being patronising, so what, is it really worth getting upset about and mulling over after the fact?

It happens. You can't change it unfortunately. I find it best to assume good intent and not look for possible slights to obsess over.

Same here, otherwise - how do you get through life? Mulling over everything petty?

Gateappreciation · 30/06/2026 07:02

The ‘Darling’ bit wouldn’t bother me, and you told him at the time.

Also, he was trying to be helpful with the bus advice.

You objected at the time. No need to take any further, if that was your intention.

Mt563 · 30/06/2026 07:01

Even if he was being patronising, so what, is it really worth getting upset about and mulling over after the fact?

It happens. You can't change it unfortunately. I find it best to assume good intent and not look for possible slights to obsess over.

AlgaeDreams · 30/06/2026 06:54

Peachykeenjosephine · 30/06/2026 06:19

I used to love my Scottish boss calling me his Wee Hen (I was v young and he was retirement age) 🥹

Ah see that sounds so sweet.

I've never been anybody's wee hen...

SassyLemonFish · 30/06/2026 06:51

In these kinds of situations I would stop and have a think about the person’s motives. In this case, use of the word ‘darling’ comes from a kind and caring place.

DelectableMe · 30/06/2026 06:21

Peachykeenjosephine · 30/06/2026 06:19

I used to love my Scottish boss calling me his Wee Hen (I was v young and he was retirement age) 🥹

That's so sweet!

Peachykeenjosephine · 30/06/2026 06:19

AlgaeDreams · 29/06/2026 23:35

I miss the "duck" days from my time in Nottingham. Man, woman or child... Nope - duck.

I used to love my Scottish boss calling me his Wee Hen (I was v young and he was retirement age) 🥹

VIII · 30/06/2026 06:11

A complete over reaction to someone trying and succeeding in helping you despite your rubbish attitude to him. Good job the bus driver was polite to you despite your rudeness.

I'm also impressed you live somewhere where one public bus takes you 250 miles away to a national property. Hmm

DelectableMe · 30/06/2026 06:05

bedfrog · 30/06/2026 05:52

Don't come to Scotland, where everyone will call you hen!!

I love that!

bedfrog · 30/06/2026 05:52

Don't come to Scotland, where everyone will call you hen!!

DelectableMe · 30/06/2026 05:45

Maddy70 · 30/06/2026 04:11

He was being helpful. I'm a northerner we call everyone darling or love

This ⬆️. I live in Yorkshire, men and women call everyone My Love or Lovey. It's just being friendly.

Maddy70 · 30/06/2026 04:11

He was being helpful. I'm a northerner we call everyone darling or love

Pansykavalier · 30/06/2026 03:06

He may have just been using a local endearment, or he may have been patronising.

I remember a phone conversation with a Mancunian plumber. We had recently moved there from London and I can’t help sounding somewhat posh. He was very clearly talking down to me. In addition to all the ‘loves’ there were repeated references to ‘you may want to check this with your husband’…

However, it’s not something that is worth getting worked up about.

tinyspiny · 30/06/2026 02:46

Not something I’d get worked up about

HelenaWaiting · 30/06/2026 01:32

I wonder how you'd cope with being incessantly called "pet" (with the occasional "bonnie lass") if you lived near me?

occamsrazor26 · 30/06/2026 01:28

Sounds like he was trying to be nice and it was wasted on you. Where I grew up everyone was pet and love. Get over it.