Page 3 | AIBU to object when a bus driver repeatedly called me darling?

DontDareCallMeDarling · 2026-06-29T21:35:59+00:00

I caught a bus today to a National Trust property I'm very unfamiliar with. The bus driver told me the bus back to town was across the road from where he dropped me off so of course I waited there. When a bus turned up the driver said I was at the wrong bus stop and need to be across the road. I was puzzled because that would take me away from where I needed to go. I told him that I'd come from the other direction "No you didn't darling" ... I was adamant that I did, because I know I did. "Sorry darling you didn't" I replied that I was not his darling. Clearly the original bus driver gave me the wrong information, though I was worried about not getting back, missing the right bus, and having what people often think of as a term of endearment (a matter of opinion) used to try to correct me. I crossed the road and caught the bus but only just made it. All very confusing.

youalright · 30/06/2026 08:14

How do you ever leave the house if you get offended by this surely you hear it in your everyday life. Everyone is duck or mate where im from

Springtimeinsunshine · 30/06/2026 08:13

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 08:10

Yes this bus driver gave me the correct bus stop. The one on the outward journey didn't. The second one did it with an insistence that I was muddled about which direction I'd come from and needed to correct a ditzy female.

No. He corrected somebody who was in the wrong 🙄

Original poster

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 08:10

Yes this bus driver gave me the correct bus stop. The one on the outward journey didn't. The second one did it with an insistence that I was muddled about which direction I'd come from and needed to correct a ditzy female.

OP posts:

Alittlebitofthebauble · 30/06/2026 08:10

Where to stand for the bus does sound like a misunderstanding though, he obviously knows where to stand, being the bus driver. But he doesn't know where you came from and he was usind the terms in a patronising way here.

Springtimeinsunshine · 30/06/2026 08:10

The darling driver gave you the correct advice and by following his advice you got home? And yet you are not happy?

x2boys · 30/06/2026 08:10

Alittlebitofthebauble · 30/06/2026 08:07

The use of "darling" in this context is patronising. I use "love" myself but he is using it and then also trying to tell you the direction you were coming from. He's trying to get the upperhand, not being helpful. I have had (more often) older men making unecessary comments to me, especially when I have my kids with me for some reason. Think they enjoy embarassing a woman. That's how it seems anyway.

Edited

So its ok for you to use it but not a man?

SquirrelGG · 30/06/2026 08:09

Oh do get a grip.

x2boys · 30/06/2026 08:08

DelphiniumBlue · 30/06/2026 08:04

It didn’t sound like an endearment tbh

Show quote history

How would you know
You werent there ?
Do you want an over all ban on people using these terms

Alittlebitofthebauble · 30/06/2026 08:07

The use of "darling" in this context is patronising. I use "love" myself but he is using it and then also trying to tell you the direction you were coming from. He's trying to get the upperhand, not being helpful. I have had (more often) older men making unecessary comments to me, especially when I have my kids with me for some reason. Think they enjoy embarassing a woman. That's how it seems anyway.

VIII · 30/06/2026 08:06

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 08:03

You really think I caught a bus from home to get to a National Trust house 250 miles away? Think that one through.

Edited

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You're the one who mentioned 250 miles. I've no idea why you'd say that if the national trust property wasn't that far away?

You clearly don't think you're unreasonable though despite other comments explaining you were so not sure why you posted?

DelphiniumBlue · 30/06/2026 08:04

x2boys · 30/06/2026 07:59

I mean women are equally guity of using terms of endearments to all and sundry
Should we be complaining about them too or is it only patronising when its a man?

Show quote history

It didn’t sound like an endearment tbh

Original poster

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 08:03

VIII · 30/06/2026 06:11

A complete over reaction to someone trying and succeeding in helping you despite your rubbish attitude to him. Good job the bus driver was polite to you despite your rudeness.

I'm also impressed you live somewhere where one public bus takes you 250 miles away to a national property.

You really think I caught a bus from home to get to a National Trust house 250 miles away? Think that one through.

OP posts:

DirtyGertiefromno30 · 30/06/2026 08:03

We call everyone love , lovely , darling , sweetheart, butt here .Men, women children , pets . It's not meant to be patronising,it's just our culture.

x2boys · 30/06/2026 07:59

DelphiniumBlue · 30/06/2026 07:47

His use of “ darling” was deliberately patronising, he was saying silly female you couldn’t possibly know where you had just come from, and not to question his authority.
I think you should complain, it’s not great customer service and we are in the 21st century, public service employees should be trained on appropriate behaviour if they can’t get their dominant male brains around it.

I mean women are equally guity of using terms of endearments to all and sundry
Should we be complaining about them too or is it only patronising when its a man?

VIII · 30/06/2026 07:50

Complain because the driver used a perfectly normal term that many use day to day and gave clear accurate advice.

DisforDarkChocolate · 30/06/2026 07:50

Where were you, in many many places this is just how we speak. I do miss being called hinny though, that seems to have disappeared and I liked it

marcopront · 30/06/2026 07:49

Does saying something twice really count as repeatedly?

However I don’t understand how the bus back would come from the same direction as the original bus. Were they two different bus routes? In which case it is possible both drivers were right?

DelphiniumBlue · 30/06/2026 07:47

His use of “ darling” was deliberately patronising, he was saying silly female you couldn’t possibly know where you had just come from, and not to question his authority.
I think you should complain, it’s not great customer service and we are in the 21st century, public service employees should be trained on appropriate behaviour if they can’t get their dominant male brains around it.

stichguru · 30/06/2026 07:42

Depends where you are in the country. I moved from Kent to Yorkshire. In Kent "darling" is basically a term used for a spouse or your child, in Yorkshire it's use is a lot more general, especially amongst people over about 60!

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 30/06/2026 07:41

You’ve got too much time on your hands.

TigerRag · 30/06/2026 07:40

bedfrog · 30/06/2026 05:52

Don't come to Scotland, where everyone will call you hen!!

Never been called hen when visiting Scotland. It's the only place where I've been called pal

x2boys · 30/06/2026 07:38

I used to work with a women who was from Jamaica
And calleed anyone and everyone who she considdred was being a bit silly /Daft
A silly Twat no matter how many times we told her it was highly offensive she carried on using it because where she was from it was a very mild insult.

M

BeSunnyLemonSheep · 30/06/2026 07:37

YABU. He was being polite.

cuckoolodger · 30/06/2026 07:35

@DontDareCallMeDarling

can I just clarify….. the services bus driver was CORRECT? You crossed the road, got the bus so his information is right and it was the first driver who did you a dirty……and you are complaining because the second driver called you DARLING while pointing out that you were in the wrong place? He did not actually, in fact, give you incorrect information or take you to the wrong place? You got home just fine by doing as he said?

MrsShawnHatosy · 30/06/2026 07:33

bedfrog · 30/06/2026 05:52

Don't come to Scotland, where everyone will call you hen!!

I was once called “my pet” by a lovely lady at Edinburgh airport security!