Is this my fault

Agree but people don’t usually say this out loud. I’ve thought it about many couples over the years including celebrities. People do tend to go for someone who either looks like them or a parent. Very Freudian.

You’re her Mum ffs, she should have more respect for you as I’m sure you’ve been there for her each time her previous relationships ended.

Mmm, ever heard of shit Mother's? Plenty of people have them. Why would anyone respect their Mother if she was a shit one? How do you know the OP is a good one?

She sounds extremely difficult.

But she’s enjoying punishing you and you need to not give her the satisfaction of showing that you care.

Once she knows that this isn’t hurting you, she’ll forget about it and start sending them again.

Does she live in your home?
You need to start putting your foot find more and stop walking on egg shells.

Is she an only child?

I bet it’s the latest in a long line of “innocent little comments” from her if the passive aggressiveness here is anything to go by…

@Difficultadultkids I don’t know why you’re getting such a hard time here, anyone would think you murdered someone! You’re berating yourself far too much so stop it now! We all say stupid things sometimes or put our foot in it so it’s hardly the end of the world. You both need to move on from this and try to get back to some sort of normality. Tbh your daughter sounds difficult and doesn’t forgive easily, has she always been a grudge holder? You’re her Mum ffs, she should have more respect for you as I’m sure you’ve been there for her each time her previous relationships ended. She may have other issues going on and is deflecting about this comment. It’s probably not really about that, it’s something else. For 20 years old she sounds very immature. Stop apologising about the horn beeping and just do your own thing for now. She knows where you are if she wants to clear the air and start acting like an adult.

Also, as an aside I’ve often heard people comment about how many couples look alike, it means they’re well matched as they subconsciously look for similar features without realising it. It’s not weird or strange. There has been a lot of research done on this over the years.

Young people can over think. Do not stress. You have apologised.

This.
You sound passive aggressive with your little comments here and enmeshed with your daughter. It’s really not healthy to be so emotionally dependent on her.
Good on her setting some boundaries with you - I wonder if she refuses to answer her phone because she knows you’d constantly be calling otherwise.

So you dismissed how she felt the first time you said it by completely forgetting you'd said it? Yeah, I'd be pissed off at you too and the 'its too much to ask' boo fucking hoo nonsense would piss me off too.

Loads of couples look alike. It’s a thing. Dd is being weird, total overreaction.

...it’s a common phenomenon.

Yes, it is. I'm surprised so many people don't know about it.

Here's another article about it:
time.com/5553817/couples-who-look-alike/

No it doesn't. Your post suggests that you think that saying "these people look alike" is effectively the same as saying "you are in an incestuous relationship". You didn't say anything about why your colleague was offended. For all we know she was offended because he's a big beardy bald guy and she's a barbie. or maybe she's just incredibly over sensitive.

It's definitely not as bad as those pictures you see of people who look like their dogs! 😂

She’s totally overreacting. It’s not a big deal at all, loads of couples look alike, it’s a common phenomenon. She’s 20, shes taken it weirdly and probably got in her head as a funny niggle. Apologise and move on. She may not send the pics again still but there’s nothing you can do, perhaps she’ll move past it with a little time.

It wasn’t a ‘weird’ thing to say though.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-modern-heart/202112/9-reasons-why-many-couples-look-alike/amp

Many moons ago when I studied psychology I learnt that couples that stay together tend to have similar features. I think she’s over reacting but equally it’s a bit odd to be requesting photos.

It says in my post why my colleague found it horrible.

Please respect your dd's boundaries, she doesn't owe you photos, step back.

Weird thing to say btw, blurting out lots?

Are you as rude to your daughter as you’re coming across on here?

It's not a weird thing to say. WTF is wrong with people? People tell DD1 she and her boyfriend look alike all the time and they find it funny not weird.

It sounds like an over reaction from her unless there’s a huge back story. I know several couples that look similar.

Your colleague must be extremely sensitive if that upset her. Some couples look alike. Some friends look alike. Some people look like celebrities. I can't see how pointing this out is offensive unless one of them is a real munter and the fit one is offended.

There's a whole trend on SM where women get their dps to rate pics of women, but it's an AI generated imagine of the man as a woman. They all seem to rate them highly! And often the AI woman looks a lot like the woman in the couple.

How is it horrible (unless one of the couple believes themselves to be far more attractive than the other one and dislikes the comparison)? Obviously if her own mum says it, she’s not implying the boyfriend is her daughter’s brother is she? So how is it horrible?

I don’t think it’s remotely an odd thing to say.

science has somewhere said the most compatible couples bear a facial resemblance to one another. No doubt someone has already or will shortly post a link.

Im sorry she has reacted so huffily and hope she calms down soon.