To ask you if you’d date this man?

Hell no ! He needs to work through the divorce, mend the relationship with his child, learn to co-parent amicably like a grown up and then, possibly I might consider it if I was still available, but its going to be years down the line if he is pulling the crazy ex card.

Absolutely not. I do not want to be any part of this mess.

just saw the update. But not suprised, I am always baffled when women get involved with men who have 6 children with 4 different women that he never sees but somehow believe he will stay with her.

"The child apparently has behavioural issues due to his ex’s poor parenting in his view."
So he didn't have any input in parenting his child ?

Well technically he’s still married so no, I wouldn’t. Although it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker, I’d be very wary of the ‘crazy ex’ line. Also, do you wish to be a stepmum to a child with ‘behavioural issues’? I’m not sure I’d be volunteering for that!

No

This. Massive red flags all over the place.

The old “she’s turned the child against me” classic.

OP keep well away.

I’d never date a divorcee or anyone with children, you’d be surprised actually that there are plenty out there that fit that criteria.

He sounds like the type of man where every accusation is a confession.
The fact SHE has left the family home with their child is a massive red flag.
Not to mention the fact his child won't see him.
Steer clear, sounds like trouble

Nope. There’s a reason the child wants nothing to do with him and it’s 99% of the time because they’re the problem. My son doesn’t see his dad because he’s an abusive, narcissist who thinks it’s ok to beat women. Stay far away!

Lies from the pit of hell. Anyway, might be projecting a bit as I’m going through a messy divorce from my ex claiming he can’t be in our children’s lives because we don’t live together hahahah girl just let that man go or like another poster said have a fling if the chemistry is fire. I tell you this for nothing if that man was as great as he sounds why is he ex not with him??? Men love to label women crazy so they don’t take any accountability, how did she get crazy? And like another poster said who puts out his wife and child to stay in the family home??? I bet his owns that house solely.

He has not been truthful about why the relationship has ended here. Rewriting history to suit his own narrative. No chance in hell.

I spent over 20 years married to a narcissist. I also grew up with a narcissistic parent so to me it was perfectly normal and I was led to believe that most of it was apparently all my fault. 16 years after I divorced him and having had numerous counselling sessions, I still have days where I get flashbacks and have to give myself a shake to get out of the funk. I still find pleasure in small day to day things that I wasn’t allowed to do growing up or when I was married. Recovery from abuse is ongoing and never really ends.

Nope. Anyone who says they have a crazy ex is the nuts one themselves. The no face-to-face shows he's probably an abuser. And who forces his children out of their home so they can live there alone?

no. He’s not (yet) free to be dated

That's the problem with reverses/ reveals: few people read the full thread so the thread turns into an unintelligible mess.
@CryptoFascist

I have.
She's clearly envious of his lifestyle or still got romantic feelings for him.
Honestly, if he's that bad (she's no reason to lie so I believe her) -she'd be glad he's somebody else's problem.
A sigh of relief and cause for celebration.

Not exactly a selfless reaction but an understandable human one.

I'm not judging her for this, but I think it's important she recognises it instead of posting threads here about whether or not other women will want him.

Because I can assure her that they will.

Most women here I guess are coupled up.
It's a hypothetical situation and to be honest a lot of women would get involved with a man like him if he was handsome and charming enough.
Obviously not all but the OP should not go away from here thinking nobody else will want him.

Then find out he's with somebody else and get pissed off about it.

Yep exactly what I thought too.

I bet the OP has a apartment or house almost or mortgage free or family property to inherit one fine day and he sussed it out.

People like him do the homework very well.

Read the full thread people...

The fact his ex left with their child would make me worry that they fled DV - very unusual for dad to stay in family home alone in typical separation/divorce

No. The ex refuses to see him as does his daughter for a reason. Beware men who say their ex is a narcissist abuser who has turned the child against him he’s usually describing himself

Far too messy. Disaster waiting to happen.

Yes possibly. I’d use my intuition. Take things very slowly. And keep strong boundaries at the beginning.

My exh.. he's a shit.

@BlueSandals wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Just too messy even if he's telling the truth.

I’m sorry to say I would give him a chance and find out the reality …
26 years ago my DH was in the EXACT same position.. their mother was a sahp with an au pair and a cleaner every other day.. she was having an affair with her tennis coach who was also married .. husband was an IT contractor working away from home Tuesday-Friday.. she made his life hell when he came home , as it ‘disturbed their lives’ . He left after 2 years of feeling ostracised in his own home .. all seemed much happier and she was super happy for the 4 kids to spend as much time as they liked with dad . 18 months later I met him. Suddenly the narrative changed . He was a controlling narcissist.. abusive .. blah blah .. the kids don’t want to see him as mum spin the same narrative to them . When her lover finally divorced and moved in the kids were once again encouraged to see dad because she wanted time with her man ..
We have been married for 23 years and have a fabulous relationship with his kids and a sticky one with mum for all the lies .

Dont trust everything you hear on MN ! Some blokes just get the rough end of the deal… you can cry abuse and have the evidence.. and be believed, sadly you can cry abuse with no evidence and still be believed simply because you are a woman . (and yes I do know some women say nothing It’s not that simple .. but their demeanour and behaviour give it credence )

No. He has a teenage child he doesn't see who has behavioural problems, he's not on good terms with his ex and he's going through a messy divorce.

The whole situation has the potential of being a shit show. It isn't something I'd want to be part of.