To love having a girl?

‘tis interesting. The general consensus on ‘gender disappointment’ thread is that it fades once you have the child. Does the reverse work, a sort of gender delight or euphoria?

To be honest I did really want a girl with my second pregnancy, although another boy would have been loved and cherished as much. But I do have a little buzz of joy I have a girl, as I really didn’t think I ever would.

Each stage of each sex is different. I have one of each who are now adults, and when they have their own children I imagine I’ll have more input with my dd’s kids.

Nobody knows the future 🤷‍♀️ But for now they both love dance, theatre, gymnastics and cheerleading 🙌

I voted yanbu because I do understand it, I feel extremely lucky to have a boy and a girl and I always tell them both how lucky I am.

But I do feel extra lucky to have my DS, my first DS died 2 hours after he was born, I'd always known I was going to have a daughter, I had her name picked from 18 and had her at 23. I never expected to have a son. I never expected my first to die and I honestly do feel so so blessed to have another chance at raising a little boy

Weird.

I have a son and a daughter. I love having them both and have let them lead on what they like. Neither of my kids would have appreciated a Barbie house, in fact my daughter hated all dolls. She had a big sylvanian families house as she loved animals.

They both liked some stereotypical boy and girl things, but also liked other things less stereotypically for their sex as well. I think that’s what usually happens if they don’t have things pushed on them.

Just to add, my son and daughter are 22 and 18 now and really close. I don’t think it’s being the same sex that makes siblings close, it’s more to do with how you bring them up, encourage but let them build their own relationship, their personalities etc. My children are quite different to each other but best of friends, and other than me and their dad, they are the first person they turn to when they need advice.

I often think “oh I love having a daughter” (she’s 4) but I wonder if that’s really me just loving having just one child and having a child with a personality and interests that fit in well with mine, as opposed to loving her being a girl specifically - e.g we just went camping just the two of us, we called it “girls camping”, did a lot of lying in hammocks reading books, crafts, walking in the woods looking for flowers and bugs etc. I love all those things so I love having a little buddy to do it all with - but it’s not specifically “girly”. If I’d have had a girl that wanted to play princess dress up/hairdressers/insert any other stereotype I’d find that a bit more challenging as it’s not the sort of thing I’d choose to be doing. Who knows, she may become more stereotypically “girly” but I do love the phase we’re in now. I had cancer and can’t have any more children, but I feel at peace with that as I do think having just the one is amazing - girl or boy 🙂

My boy was (and still is) a soft, gentle, easy going soul. My DD's are wild.

DD1 is a pre-teen and quite frankly it bores and terrifies me in equal measures what "girly" shit is out there for them at this age. Bum bum cream, Drunk Elephant, online beauty regimes actually aimed at pre-teens (who naturally have beautiful and unspoilt skin).

Trying hard to balance things actually and there is no way I'd actively encourage either of my DD's to subscribe to the current trends and fads. I hate how SM dictates 'being female' and despite still being able to limit SM at the moment I worry about the future.

I think it's lovely you are celebrating having a girl.

Oftentimes on here you get faux 'I've found out I'm having a girl and I don't know what to doooo with a girl!' posts. Or artificially upbeat: 'I really hope I have another boy. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl!'

Because it's a bit vulnerable to suggest you might be excited by the possibility of having two children of the opposite sex.

Of course, it's silly to assume either sex is going to adhere to stereotypes, so it's a bit of a defensive stance I think.

How lovely to feel so lucky. It's joyous. Embrace it!

Wow.

Thank God your little girl is such a mini-me eh? Imagine what a failed daughter she'd be if she didn't like pink/Barbie/unicorns.

What happens if you buy a unicorn for a boy btw? Do they dissolve?

I couldnt think of anything worse worse thst girl things personally not all girls are a cliche

Same with boys

But cars and building things and adventures are way more fun than being a cliched 'princess'

Girls can have adventures and enjoy 'boys things' but that ia not what parents seem to want when they speak of girls they want a doll

How will you feel if your girly 4 year old grows up to reject all things pink and 'girly'. Maybe she'll crop her hair, get tattoos, dress in a more masculine way.

It sounds like this would upset you immensely OP!

I do find it odd to be honest. I have two DDs, one has always been quite 'girly' for want of another word. The other less so. I had lots of disagreements with my mother in law when DD chose spider man pyjamas, or went to a party in her chelsea football kit ... "why did you let her choose that", she would say.

My girls are great, but I'd probably have felt the same about boys. I'm not into unicorns etc, but neither were my young adult dds.

Heaven help you if they discover a liking for football and come home covered in mud each week!

I have a boy and twin girls. I love having them because they are them, nothing at all to do with their sex really.

But then I'm not at all a 'girls girl' and I plan to avoid Barbies for as long as I possibly can, hopefully forever.

While perhaps it’s unusual, I would just enjoy it, and count yourself lucky that you have a girl as well as a wonderful little boy. I have one of each and I feel so much joy that I have them, although I think I’d feel the same with 2xDD or 2xDS. I think you should be careful not to push gender stereotypes onto them and let them become their own people regardless of their sex.

I don’t think it’s notably odd to enjoy this aspect of your second child. I’m not particularly ‘girly’ and neither is DD but there are some aspects of having a child that’s the same sex as you which are nice.

Bloody hell my toddler girls are feral, my boy was much easier

When my second son was born I felt like the luckiest person in the whole world. I did not care what sex either of my babies were. I just thought from the moment they were born that they were the most wonderful little humans to ever exist.

I am not sure this feeling is really about the sex of your children. I think that as you should, you think your children are brilliant.

I totally get it. I already had two sons when I gave birth to my first daughter and I felt like I’d won the lottery.
It‘s absolutely nothing to do with loving my sons less or the opportunity to buy Barbies (my youngest son loved Barbies and had 8 of the bloody things and all the accessories) it was just I now have a daughter. Someone who will have a world experience similar to mine and who will understand when I talk to her about my life. She is now 18 and absolutely this is the case. I adore my sons and we speak all the time. I also have another daughter and son and I love them all equally. People thinking you don’t are absurd.

God forbid you had a boy 🙄🙄

I have 2 boys (men now)
When they were small we had a dolls house (not Barbie though), pink things, unicorns, dolls prams and so on.

DS1 had a unicorn themed 16th.

Im glad you're happy to have a daughter, but you don't need 1 one to buy any of those things. And there's no guarantee she'll like them! She might be a muddy, rugby fan like my friends DD wants to be but isn't allowed

YANBU. I have two girls and I feel so lucky every day that they’re girls. I’m so grateful.

Theyre the best of friends, they love matching outfits, cute hairstyles, lots of pink and frills and unicorns. It’s everything I dreamt about when wanting children.

I wasn’t sold on a third, but one of the huge factors against a third for me was that it could have been a boy. I got lucky twice and they’re so close that I didn’t want to jeopardise that.

I don't think it's odd to have the feelings you feel.

I do think it's odd to make it a cornerstone of things. You write " I feel no one else seems to say this though," do you need them to say it to make your own feelings valid @NutellaPancakes123 ?

YABU.