AIBU to think my husband is a bit of a dick?

Foxes shouldn’t be eating human food. You’re probably doing the fox more harm than good. Why do you have leftovers anyway? Why not just cook the amount of food that you’ll eat?

Do you actually like your husband?

YANBU

It’s not about the rights and wrongs of feeding foxes.

He promised he’ll do something and didn’t, not because he forgot or was too busy but because he simply couldn’t be bothered.

So yes he’s a dick.

FWIW I know loads of people who feed foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, birds etc - I don’t think it makes you a bad person to feed the wildlife.

I always thought marriage was team work, ie you help each other out when needed. I hope your dh is as equally unhelpful when you need him to help you out.

Bloody hell I don’t think I’ve ever read anything worse on here!

Your DH has to rush away for family emergencies and he has the additional worry of his dog being in kennels.

All because you’re too lazy to take care of it for a few days.

What a nasty, selfish person you are.

Agreed. Just don’t do it.

Not all wildlife trusts say “don’t feed foxes”

Should I feed my foxes?
If you want to, yes; lots of people feed foxes, either regularly or occasionally, and get a great deal of enjoyment from doing so, but please be aware they are wild animals - feed and watch them, but don't try and tame them. In particular, don't put out excessive amounts of food and clear away any uneaten food. This will help ensure you do attract unwanted visitors, such as rats or cause a nuisance to your neighbours.

It may depend on where she lives. She may not be doing in the best way. She may be difficult to communicate with. And she says he’s never indicated he has a problem with it. As I said before though, I’d have thought if she was that bad he’d just claim he’d done it.

https://www.bbcwildlife.org.uk/urban-fox

Yes, he’s been a dick. My DH will feed my pets (and the wild birds that I also feed) if needs be. It’s something that matters to you and doing so shows he cares about your beliefs and feelings even if it’s not something he would normally do.

I was thinking this.

What would you have done if he had refused to feed the foxes when you initially asked him? How would you have reacted? I think most people would have refused tbh, so is the issue that he wanted to avoid an argument at that tme?

He's a dick for saying he's do it then not doing it...but maybe he wanted to avoid an argument and thought you wouldn't notice. nasty comment about not feeding the cats though.
I agree, don't feed foxes.

why do you cook every night? I had the same thing with my late dog and I used to bulk cook and freeze in portions. Its not a chore to just take the day's food out of the freezer and thaw it.

Self centered

Well given the responses she has given here and the lack of care she actually has for the welfare of the fox, I wouldn’t be surprised that this hasn’t been expressed to her in the past and she has dismissed it. Maybe he is a shit communicator, but clearly so is she. She gives as much of a fuck about the fox as she does but they both express it in different ways, her by putting it at serious risk and him by not giving a toss to tell her he doesn’t give give a toss.

ETA - the stuff about the cats makes him a tosser.

Agree

Anything you post on Mumsnet is up for debate. You don’t get to dictate what people post. You shouldn’t feed wild animals, it makes them dependent and less able to find their own food. What happens when you go on holiday, the poor fox starves? Or if you go into hospital? Or move away? YABVU.

He was a dick about what he said about the cats though.

He’s an adult. He could say “I don’t agree with feeding the foxes, and it’s not something I’ll do if you’re away”. He didn’t though. He told her he’d do it, didn’t and then said he didn’t do it because he “didn’t care”. Like the massive baby he is.

I work in nature conservation, love wildlife including foxes.

YABVU to feed foxes on the regular basis and it causes issues for the fox. You’re not doing this for the animal but for your own selfish reasons - you are putting ‘your’ fox at risk. Maybe your DH realises that feeding foxes is irresponsible. Good for him.

Stop feeding the foxes.

YABU. Feeding foxes is fine but they're not going to starve if you miss a night (or many nights).
They are resourceful creatures.

Your total lack of concern about the community you live in is the problem here.

Pretty awful to say that about the family pets which I’m assuming he agreed to having.
I regularly go away over a weekend with my children as my DH works every Saturday.
I take 2 dogs with me and leave his dog at home (as it goes to work with him) a cat and small furries. They all get fed without comment.
He also soaks calciworms in the morning and then puts them out for the birds in the garden.
Not because he particularly has strong feelings about supporting our nesting birds over the summer but because he knows I do it and I enjoy them visiting the garden.
I wouldn’t be annoyed if he forgot to do the bird bath or do the worms because it’s a me thing not a him thing to want to do but I love the fact that he does it.
If he commented that our pets were lucky they were fed, I would tell him to stop being a dick.

Nope I wouldn’t have fed the fox either. You’re soft in the head for doing so, and I bet your dh is sick of hearing you go on about wild animal that anyone with any sense knows you shouldn’t be feeding. The comment about the cats being lucky to get fed sounds like an exasperated, flippant remark.

At least you’ll be able to dispose of his body easily …

Don’t feed fucking foxes. Your DH probably feels the same way.

This. I know of two cats killed by foxes - one was ours and the other a farm cat killed in full view.